Please pray for Josi

[msjosi]

Two paws (one front - one back) are slightly swollen and one front paw is more swollen. I know this is what you are telling me and not a bite. She has never experienced this before...she doesn't appear to be in any pain but all she is doing is sleeping so it is not like she is trying to walk. Did this only happen to Dakota on his last bleed or with other bleeds? If it did happen with other bleeds, did the fluid finally reabsorb itself or what did you have to do? I'm so worried and have such an anxious unexplainable feeling inside.

 

[liamsmom]

hi staci.....
i do remember the vet telling me there wasn't too much we could do about the edema since we just had to wait for the body to reabsorb the blood/fluids.
i don't think raising her legs can hurt anything so i wouldn't worry that you are doing anything that will hurt her.
don't think about "the end" yet though. it could still be that she just needs some time to recover from the bleed. i don't know how/if they can determine that, if at all. someone once told me "hope for the best...expect the worst...and maybe you will be blessed with something between the two". those words helped me in times when i wanted to panic and run. they gave me the strength to take things a minute at a time when i had to.
i so wish i could be there with you...to help you with all that you are going thru. i really want to give you such a great big hug!!!!! and be with you during this difficult time.
we spent many a sleepless night lying on the floor with Dakota. i know what it feels like to watch every breath....and to feel every heart beat. i used to lay for hours with my hand on Dakota's pulse....watching his every breath. all the while my heart breaking even more.
i also know how you feel about wanting to be with her and not have her put into ICU where you can't be with her. i felt the same way.
thankfully, our vet came to the house when we needed him to. even on Dakota's last day...we were able to help him to The Bridge at home.
i used to worry about not being home if Dakota were to go to the Bridge on his own. i used to beat myself up and didn't want to leave him for one second to go to work or the store or anything. so i had to ask the vet a direct question about what would happen if we couldn't get to his office fast enough or if i wasn't home when "it" happend. as much as i was afraid to hear what he might say, i directly asked the vet if it was a painful death if, for some reason, i wasn't able to be there when it happened. he assured me that it wasn't. he said that i shouldn't blame myself if i wasn't there and "it" happened....he said it shouldn't be. he said that because of blood loss that they become weaker and weaker and basically drift off peacefully. i guess i'm telling you this to help ease any guilt you might have for not bringing her to be admitted into ICU.
i hate that i am sharing this sort of detail with you but i'm also glad that you appreciate my honesty.
oh staci.....i don't know what else to say. i've been praying for all of you all day.
i am going upstairs to lay in bed now but please know that i will be saying prayers for you and brian and josi until i drift off to sleep at some point.
i will check for updates in the morning by 8am.
hang in there................
heck............if you get really worried.......CALL YOUR VET'S PHONE NUMBER. yes...it may be late at night but that's why he gave you the number. it's not like you abuse calling him for every little thing. this is not something like a hangnail. you have legitimate reason to make the call if you have to. i'm sure he wouldn't be upset if you needed him.
hugs
hugs
hugs
hugs
hugs

 

[liamsmom]

staci...
just saw your most recent post
i'm still online checking email so i figured i'd post again, too
dakota's one paw swelled............
it stayed that way for a while. it went down a bit but not quite back to normal.
then the other one swelled.
on his last day.......both were swollen.
that being said.....he also had some blood under the surface of his skin. kind of like a bruise-like looking thing. it went from above the knee down to the paws.
but you haven't described any of that with josi......so maybe that is a very good sign.

 

[butlersmom]

Just checking back in before heading to bed. My heart is absolutely breaking for you. We all love you so very much Miss Josi, Warrior Princess.

 

[Gruntsmom]

Staci, I've been checking throughout the day too for updates, and saying lots of prayers. My heart just aches for you, and I wish there was something I could do to help. You know you have all of our support, many, many prayers going out for Josi and you and Brian, we're all right there with you in spirit. I lit a healing candle for The Warrior Princess. lovicon

 

[liamsmom]

just one last check on you guys before going up to lay in bed........(i'm really going upstairs this time )
staci....be as strong as you can be, girl! and, remember, you can only control the situation to a point. there are many factors here that are beyone your control.
i know this is very difficult. believe me!!!!!!! i know all to well.
and, it sounds like you might be in for a long night helping josi fight her fight.
make the call to the vet if you have to...he may be able to help you understand what is going on with josi right now and how to keep her comfortable.
grab a pillow and a blanket and curl up with your wonderful josi, diva, warrior princess if you have to.
if you need to bring her to the emergency vet and you truly feel in your heart that you don't want to be away from her for even a split second.....be very strong so you can stand your ground and tactfully demand that you be with her every step of the way. with her condition/prognosis, i'm sure they would understand. (i've been there and done that, too)
i am so giving you a great big hug right now.......i really hope you can feel it thru cyberspace somehow. even though i can't be there physically........my thoughts and heart are with you.......please know that.
i've been talking to Dakota all night...asking him to help guide josi thru her fight. i'm sure he's with her, too and will help her the best he can.

 

[ZOE*BOXER]

I am so very sorry. Ms Josi is so fortunate to have such a wonderful family. Do not feel bad about praying for her to go peacefully in her sleep. I did that with my older Rottie, Thor as well. You can never prepare yourself to lose someone you love so much. I tried, my husband used to tell Thor " Mommy's counting your days. " :o But as you know, I wasn't, I was just trying to cope ahead of time. Just continue to do what you are doing and make every day her best day. I pray that this is just a particularly bad bleed and she will get past this. We are all here for you.

 

[liamsmom]

hi there!!!!!
just checking in to see how things are going this morning.
i slept very light last night so i kept sending strong healing vibes out to Josi and saying lots of prayers for you guys.
hoping to see an update from you very soon.
hugs!

 

[msjosi]

Were to start...after my last post, Josi swelling in her limbs continued to worsen, her abdomen continued to get larger, and she appeared to be having difficulties. We couldn't bare to watch her fighting like this, so we decided to take her into the emergency vet. Brian and I talked to her the entire ride there about all the wonderful memories from her life. Once we arrived and they brought the gurney out and were placing her on it we noticed that she now also had a fluid pocket forming at the top of her head. Ofcourse she perked up immediately and as they wheeled her off looked to be fine as a puppy. When the doctor came in she said her blood count was down to 13%!! They started her on fluids and said her temperature was suprisingly fine. They did an xrays on her heart and saw no noticable tumor or fluids around it. She felt that she was bleeding most likely from the liver which we have guessed from the past. She suggested we transfuse her but was very concerned that she would have a reaction. We went back to ICU to see how she was doing before making any decisions and Warrior Princess was perched up on her side much more alert than she had been all day and I even got a kiss The doctor was quite stumped as to her swelling feet and head because she said her protein levels were normal which would cause edema and she pretty much ruled that out after seeing noticable puss and redness coming from them now. She honestly didn't know what to think but wondered if it could be her mast cell flaring up as a result? We said our peace and told Josi to fight if she wants to or go peacefully if she is tired of it all. The coagaulation test worked so they moved ahead with the transfusion at 3am which should be finishing right about now. Her care will be turned over to the internal medicine doctor we originally saw when her spleen ruptured. The ER doctor said if she made it through the night that he will probably want to ultrasound her abdomen to see what is going on if she made it through the night. She made sure that we understood if she made it through this bleed, this was only a bandaid and there is no way to know what time we are buying.

Brian and I feel comfotable in our decision either way it turns out, but we both wonder if we are being selfish. I know if they can't get her feet/head swelling under control but the fluid subsides that is no quality of life for her, but there is always that what if that I can't let go of. We were able to get a few hours rest and our now waiting for an update. We told them to call if there was any change or worsenening in her condition and no rings through the night so I guess that is a good sign...I just am at a loss. I feel like we promised her we would never let her be back in ICU and now we have gone back on our promise, but on the otherhand she is still fighting so maybe that is what she wants. I know once this is all over with I will be able to eventually look back and decide what decisions we made were right or wrong, but in the moment it is almost impossible to give up on the "Warrior Princess". Thank you all so much from the bottom of our hearts for everything. Caroline it means the world to me to have you talk me through this whole ordeal, I just hope that we are not rehashing the not so good memories from the end of Dakota's life. I am honored and blessed that you are willing to share with me...maybe someday I will be able to return the gesture to another BW member in need. I am going to go get dressed so I am ready to go once they call. I will post again soon...

 

[Austin's Mom]

No phone calls is a good thing! The Warrior Princess is still fighting. Don't second guess your decisions, hindsight is always 20/20. You are doing what you think is best for Josi as her parents, and she loves you for that. Still sending lots and lots of prayers and >>>fight vibes<<<<to Ms. Josi that she will pull thru this and be home with you guys soon.