the new neighbor......

[hmdupuis]

I just needed to vent a little bit here. My boyfriend and I live in an apartment in R.I. we're moving on Oct 1st. A guy just moved in on the first floor last weekend. I told my BF that he gives me the creeps. Everytime I take Tyson out (which is alot) this guy comes outside. He's never said anything rude or out of line to me, but I just get a bad feeling about him. Despite me telling my BF this, still I'm the only one to take Tyson out (alone).
Yesterday I ran into one of the girls in the building (she too finds this guy creepy). She has a BF but they don't live together. He comes over on the weekends and she's alone all week. She tells me this......

"I was cooking dinner the other night and someone knocks on my door. I answer it and it was that guy. He asks me if I can come into his apartment to look at how he set his furniture up. I tell him I can't because I'm cooking dinner. He goes on to ask if I know you. I tell him ya, I talk to her all the time, she's really nice. He then says, "yeah she's really young and really pretty, its too bad she has a boyfriend". I'm totally creeped out at this point so I call my boyfriend. Since he works for the police department he took a picture of his plates with his phone and ran them. Turns out this guy has breaking and entering on his record and is a convicted sex offender as of 2009!"


Seriously!?!?!? I knew there was something up with this guy! Ugh GROSS! I immediately go tell my BF. You would think that now that he knows I have reason to be creeped out, HE would take Tyson out or atleast come with me so I'm not alone. NOPE! What a gentlemen huh? I want out of this apartment now. I don't want to wait until october 1st. Unfortunatly I have no choice but to wait. I guess I'm going to have to pick up some pepper spray and a metal bat. I want to tell my landlord because we have all young females that live in this building. Even after I leave, what about them? My neighbor says she wants to tell the landlord too but she can't because her BF isn't actually aloud to do what he did and could get in trouble for it. I really feel like something needs to be done though. If I moved out and then found out something happened to one of the girls here it would eat at my conscience like crazy. What do I do? And what the heck do I say to my boyfriend to get him to come outside with me? I don't feel like I'm asking alot, I just don't want this guy to come out and talk to me.

 

[samsons]

you could always say u found him on the sex offenders list ( 1st look & see if he is there ) also in michigan we have something called "OTIS" its on our state web site. you can look up a person & see if they have been to prison & what there crimes are/where. maybe ur state has something like that. if you can find another way to find the info , that wont get anyone in trouble, then you can take that to the landlord.

sorry you are having to deal with a creepy guy - hope oct comes soon for u guys !

not sure if this is a good idea , but maybe write a letter , just the basic facts that are true , and get it to the single ladies in the building. that way everyone has a heads up & some unsuspecting female doesnt go check out his furniture !

I am sure some of the other member's will have ideas , and maybe someone can comment on how wise/ unwise writing a letter would be ... ?

 

[Cami]

WOW.
I guess your LL isn't too good at background checks! I have rental property (haven't rented it out yet) but I plan on doing massive checks on people and only renting to those with a squeaky clean record before they live in the house.

Just to play devils advocate here (I hate that term but it fits).....
A registered sex offender is such a blanket term. A good friend of ours is a registered sex offender!!! He was 18, his GF was 17 (3 months shy of 18), they had dated for nearly 2 years.....and her dad found out they were having "relations". Court, jail and record. That was 20+ years ago. The GF's family lives right next door to our friend still (he inherited his grandparents home when they passed). Our friend and the GF's dad (who turned him in) are GREAT FRIENDS. Strange I know but just saying the "label" it isn't always what it seems.

But it all boils down to this.....
He gives you the creeps and you should always trust your gut. Avoid him like the plague. Keep your distance and have something for protection when you are alone (inside or outside). Don't answer the door if he comes knocking.
AND....just how serious are you about this BF?

I'd personally not put anything in writing....paper trail and all. Don't want him to get wind of it and try and get you on harassment, defamation of character, etc...Maybe have a tenant meeting and "discuss" neighborhood safety!

 

[Gatorblu]

I agree if you know or can find out his name you can look it up on the sexual offender website, and then approach your landlord. You can tell him they guy is constantly watching you and making you uncomfortable, which is why you looked him up. However as Susi said many people are on that list for being barely of age and dating someone slightly younger. Many states list the age of the time of their arrest or the date and you can figure out about how old they were at the time, and therefore figure out if that was the case. Tho' the breaking and entering part would lead me to believe that was not the case. States vary on how to access people arrest records, and it depends on much research you are willing to do. I guess the easiest would be to find out his name and google it and see what comes up. If he was arrested for a serous sexual offense there was probably some mention of it in a newspaper and google should find it. In the meantime, pepper spray may not be a bad idea. Also make sure you take Tyson out to the most public area of your apartment complex.

And as much as I hate to butt into other people relationships. I would find out what is up with your bf that he won't at the very least walk Tyson with you. I find this behavoir a bit worrisome as well.

 

[EAO76]

The guy that works for the PD should be able to see what sort of crime he committed. If it was statutory rape then his arrest history would show it. If it was more serious it would show that too. in other words there is usually more info in the records that just a generic “sex offender”. Also I don’t know about RI but in CA the sex offender website sates what crime the sex offender was convicted of so you may be able to find out more info yourself.

 

[hmdupuis]

Thanks for all the advise guys. I've been trying to fnd info on him online but unfortunately I don't know where he lived (state or county) before he moved here.
I completely agree that some that are labeled a "sex offender" have good reason behind it but I don't see that being the case with this guy. He looks to be between 50 and 60 (I'm 25). Today when I was coming back for my walk with Tyson he came outside and said "oh look, its miss america. I really like your hair like that". Simple compliment? Maybe, but it doesn't feel that way. All I can say is October can't come fast enough.
As far as the boyfriend goes, we've been together for 2 years now. It seems to me that picking a boyfriend isn't easy like picking a good dog breed....blah.

 

[Stub]

Well, have you actually asked your boyfriend to come outside with you? It seems like you are just expecting him to pick up on that you want him to, because you told him the guy creeps you out. Men can be notoriously dense so if you don't ask him he might never figure it out! But if you have asked him and he refuses, then you definitely need some sort of protection. I keep thinking, "too bad Tyson is not full grown!"

This is a very creepy situation you are in, I hope you and the other girls in your building can stay safe. Who asks women to come into their apartment 'to look at furniture arrangement'?? That just screams danger!

 

[hmdupuis]

Well, have you actually asked your boyfriend to come outside with you? It seems like you are just expecting him to pick up on that you want him to, because you told him the guy creeps you out. Men can be notoriously dense so if you don't ask him he might never figure it out! But if you have asked him and he refuses, then you definitely need some sort of protection. I keep thinking, "too bad Tyson is not full grown!"

This is a very creepy situation you are in, I hope you and the other girls in your building can stay safe. Who asks women to come into their apartment 'to look at furniture arrangement'?? That just screams danger!

Yeah, I've asked him. No response, apparently its more important to beat MADDEN2011 for the 200th time. :(
I've felt the same way about tyson. at this point he'd just kiss the creep to death.

 

[SabrinaMN]

Wow, that is very creepy. From what you described, I would be very uncomfortable. I would talk with my landlord about leaving early. With his record and behavior, you have a good argument.
As for the boyfriend, I think that game system would mysteriously stop working. Flat out tell him this guy is creepy and you don't want to be out there alone. It sounds like this guy is perfectly capable of acting on his desires.
I'm sorry your in this situation. I would find whichever woman in your building has a big mouth and tell her. She'll tell everyone else for you. Keep us posted.
Oh and the other option is to get advise from a police officer. Wasp spray works better than pepper spray. It shoots farther and lasts longer. It could look like you have it because wasps have been bothering you vs it looking like a weapon. The bat is an excellent choice.
And if he says you look pretty or makes another comment about your hair being up say something like "I pull it up when I go practice at the range." Itll make it sound like you own a gun and know how to use it.

 

[rrboxer]

Is there another apartment dweller who has a dog that you can coordinate 2gether 2 take your dogs for their pottybreaks or walks at the same time? I definitley would carry pepper spray & try to change up the times 2 take my pet out. How about maybe driving to another area 2 walk your dog that is safe where there are lots of people there? I wishing for September to swiftly fly by so u can get out of there!