Quitting smoking

[debbie knowles]

Re: I failed

Originally posted by cashisking
I went out tonight and was OVERWHELMED I smoked:mad: I am soo mad at myself... I did so good and I don't know if I can pick myself up again. I want to quit I should quit... I just feel so bad right now. I hope to feel better in the AM...:( crying now

OK...you had a bad night and smoked...But just think about those two full weeks you didn't and those 200+ cigs that you did NOT smoke. The way I see it you're still way way ahead of the ol demon! Jenn..you have to know that YOU kept me from giving in because you were so positive and upbeat when I was being a pathetic wimp. This little step back is just that...one little step back and it doesn't affect the wonderful progress you had already made...you can't give up now, girl 'cause Jean and I need your strength and cheerleading skills. You hang in there, OK?? It WILL be OK! djk

Jean: I wish you the very best of luck with the relatives..not that will be a toughie, but we'll keep our finger and toes and paws crossed for as little stress as possible anyway!!

 

[Aimee]

Call me Crazy

but I am getting ready to join the rest of you I quit smoking prior to my wedding for about 2 months, it was miserable, but I did great. That was until I started having to deal with my in-laws My husband never quit so I found myself starting to have one only in the evenings when he got home from work but I started to notice if he wasn't home right on the minute, I was freaking out on him wondering why he was late Eventually I started having him leave me only 2 for the day, 3 for the day and so the story goes. So, I know I can do this!

A few weeks back, we had to bring my grandfather up to live with my parents from Florida due to poor health. My grandfather suffers from emphysema and COPD. He has smoked 1-2 packs of cigarettes a day for 60 years. He is 82 years old. Although he was a prisoner of war for 9 months in World War II and suffers greatly health wise from it, the smoking he says is the largest contributor. He cannot do anything for himself anymore, walking to the bathroom causes him to have to take a breathing treatment and put on his oxygen. My grandfather cannot take any deap breaths, they are all shallow and quick and he is unable to do anything for himself without getting winded. I hate having to watch him slowly suffocate to death. His mind is 100%, he doesn't miss a beat, his body just can't keep up. Sitting outside yesterday he looked at me and said, don't do this to yourself Aimee, take a good look at me, don't do this. He's survived prostate cancer and lung cancer. He has had one half of his left lung removed and is still smoking. He can only smoke a few cigarettes a day now but he still can't give them up. He keeps telling me and my husband and my mom and dad to take a good look at him and if we think it won't happen to us, we are sadly mistaken. He said he wouldn't wish this on anyone. Often times he has really bad nights, the phlem build up is so bad and he can't bring it up that it chokes him, we're afraid one day soon, it will kill him trying. So, whether my husband or my parents can bring themselves to do this, I realize I have to. I am turning 30 in August, I want to do this for myself. Will I miss it, you bet! There are plenty of times I actually enjoy smoking and other times it's just a habit. So wish me luck folks, you're stories have been inspiring. I am walking in the breast cancer walk in DC on June 8, I believe is that date. That is the date that I am setting as my quite date, either that or the following day. I say that because we have a graduation party after the walk and a wedding that night, I don't want to set myself up for failure right off the bat Keep the encouraging stories coming, you have all done a GREAT job and deserve to be patted on the back. Actually, I think the massage sounds A LOT better!

 

[buddy'smom]

Congrats Aimee

on making the decision to join the group. I am sure I will still be looking to you all for support by that time as well. Your grandfather is a wise man, and is giving you all first hand advice, I do hope you and your family listen to what he is saying.

The day with the relatives went okay, but Jillyan turns into a totally different little girl with mom, dad and her little brother around I was somewhat edgy prior to them arriving, but it is totally self induced, everything HAS to be perfect in my books and I was stressing myself up right up until they arrived, making sure the towels in the bathroom were straight, the candles had the right scent, the table looked great etc etc etc (Just the way I am) As the visit went on, the noise level IMO got louder and louder, the kids were running wild with Kailee and Clyde, and with each thump or crash or clink I was getting edgier, looking towards the balcony at the ones out there having a smoke. Okay long story short, I slipped into the kitchen on the verge of tears and quietly said to Alan, I am going to lose it any minute. I reached into his pocket, took out a smoke and joined the others on the balcony. Finished the smoke, came back in and carried on with the visit, serving the meal and enjoying the family time. Yep I kinda blew it, but I look at it this way, on a normal day, I would have been out there with them, having way more than that 1 smoke, so although I did fail today, it isn't a total failure IMO. Cold Turkey is darn tough, and the mental need for the cigarrette took over telling me "Jean, you are going to say something you may regret" After the smoke, the 2 smashed cups, the marker on my area rug and the chairs being knocked over didn't bother me a bit, I handled it like a charm, with a smile on my face. I fell off, but I am back on again. BTW as an added footnote, Clyde is a dreamboy with children :D He made me soo proud today.

Jean

 

[debbie knowles]

Good Job Jean! I think only one smoke with a houseful of relatives is darned good! :D I think you handled it well. Hang in there, you're doing fine.

Aimee: Do what you gotta do and then come join us..we'll be right here waiting for you. The more the merrier. This is so hard, but it is easier here because I don't feel so alone. BTW June 8th would be a good final smoking day..it's my birthday!

Jenn: OH Jenn...where are you?? Talk to me, girl, I need to know you are OK!

 

[debbie knowles]

I passed my 2 week mark this afternoon at 3:00pm but for some reason tonight I am really thinking about a smoke!! Thank goodness we don't have any here. Oh, did I mention that in addition to the problems hubby has had...I got a call Thursday around 1 am that my mother had fallen and broken her hip!:( She had surgery and is doing very good but has had to go to a nursing/re-hab center for the next three months. She still lives in Illinois, so it is hard to sit this far away and hope that she is OK. Looks like I'll be cashing in those frequent flyer miles this summer, huh!
Jean & Jenn...talk to me..let me know you're OK and hanging in there with me, OK?

 

[Aimee]

Deb, I am sorry to hear about both your husband and your mother. I know how hard it is to be away from your family when they are sick. We'll keep your mother in our thoughts. How is hubby doing without smoking? I think this is going to be tougher on hubby than me. I told him today that I was quitting and he said that he's been thinking about it and that he is going to also. We'll see about that. Congratulations on making it to your two week mark. YOU GO GIRL appicon What an accomplishment! Hang in there, you are doing GREAT!

 

[debbie knowles]

Thanks Aimee...it is tough..I had been doing pretty good since I stopped the wellbutrin but now for some reason tonight that is all I can think about, but that's OK at least there are none here to tempt me, so I am eating ice and I'll get through it. Hubby is doing pretty good I think..he is a little grumpy, but still tolerable :D It is gonna be harder for him too I think because all the folks he works with smoke and they are outside and no restrictions like me. I work on the 10th floor of a non-smoking building and cannot smoke within 25 feet of the bldg so that helps some. When you get ready to stop...be sure and get one of the quit meters..it is so cool and it really does help..it is amazing to think that I have now NOT smoked 214 cigs...:eek: that's a lot huh!! It automatically pops up whenever I turn my computer on and I am always amazed at how many cigs I have avoided. Well, it's about bedtime, so maybe I'll just go to sleep and hopefully not dream about one!!:p djk

 

[cashisking]

Hi all..

I have not smoked since the party! I was in a position where EVERYWHERE I went there was someone smoking. I sort of knew I shouldn't have gone, but I made a commitment prior to quitting.. I did some soul searching Sunday and decided I had 2 choices to smoke or not, I chose not!! I really felt like I had destroyed my quit, but I have come a long way, and I WANT to continue on this journey.. I laid low and kept busy over the weekend, Now I just wonder what to do about my quit meter, just subtract a few sickarettes, or start over again...

Deb, I am A-OK, Thanks for the concern.. We CAN do this!!!!

Way to go everyone... One day at a time..

Jenn

 

[debbie knowles]

Woooo Hooooo Jenn....I am soooo glad to see you back here! I know I can't do this alone and I need all the help I can get. Our group is growing as we are about to pick up Aimee too, so we want to increase our membership in this non-smokersthread. Now about your quit meter...here's my thoughts. If you had smoked for two weeks like two packs a day or something then I would say you'd have to start over...BUT just one little night is not enough to erase all you had accomplished..not nearly enough, so I say leave that quit meter alone and let's go on forward. This is so hard to do, we all are going to have rough spots and back slide from time to time but as long as we pick our selves back up and jump back into the game we are winning. Poor Jean even made it through the house full of relatives with only ONE and I think that is darned good!! So, now that is behind us let's all move forward together, so we can one day turn into big hairy white gorillas just like our Cubby!!:eek: I personally can't wait! :D

 

[cashisking]

I like that!!

I will leave it alone! I will also stay away from parties that take place in backyards with kegs and bands.. One or the other, but not both I am going to throw a pool party at my house in 3 weeks that is when I will exact my revenge on the smokers.. No smoking in the house (of course) garage, or back yard.. Must smoke in the front yard with the desert sun beating down on you.. I will provide water though, I am not THAT evil!! Part of the problem for me was that I had put SO MUCH stock into the theory that I must NEVER smoke again.. It worked really well until I was in the position I was in, and being so early into my quit!!

Come on Aimee, it is rough, tough, frustrating, but you can do it!! Quit like your life depends on it!!:D

Jean, my whole family smokes too. My father thinks it is fun to blow smoke in my face, well, until my mom smacks him upside the head!! Way to go on the family party.. Not enough chairs huh?? Good idea.. My spastic Boxer boy tends to keep most of them away anyways!!!!

Moving FORWARD!!!!

Jenn