Having recently lost Sammie, I have no words to ease your pain. Everyone grieves differently but the hurt still hurts the same for everyone, it just hurts and sucks. Just know you are not alone, many of us have lost our best friends. This community is an awesome sounding board for many issues, including a virtual hug from a lot of people when you need it most. We lost Sammie in March and although I thought I was coming to terms and dealing with it better I've had boughts of crying episodes these last few days. Grief sneaks up on you and kicks you in the butt when you least expect it. I don't mean to be a downer, I just want to say it will get better and there may be relapses but eventually the happy memories overcome the grief. I'm on my way there, just not there quite yet. You will get there too. I'm sorry if my words come too soon but just thought I should share my experience. I appreciated others back in March. Best wishes for your broken heart, I do understand the pain.