The end haunts me

[Cami]

Thank you ALL so much for not only sharing your own stories of pain with me but for your continued support. I know it can't be easy to try and comfort another when your own hearts are breaking or have been broken.

I can't believe that Cami has been gone for a week.
7 days
168 hours.
604,800 seconds.
A lifetime for me.

I know that letting her go was the right thing to do and it was at the right time. Aside from the final moments that I struggle with I can honestly say that she was NEVER in any pain. I continued to ask and was constantly told that her illness didn't come with pain. More or less a feeling of anxiousness when her heart would speed up and for sure she would be more tired. I never wanted her to have to struggle to breathe which could have happened due to the congestive heart failure. I am and will always be forever grateful that the angels were watching over her and didn't allow that to happen.

 

[EAO76]

Susi
I'm so sorry that you did not get the peaceful ending that you imagined for Cami. When I was 20 my cat, Tigger, went into kidney failure and I had to make the decision to put him to sleep. He was 17. I literally grew up my whole life with him. When I was a kid I pushed him in my stroller and dressed him in doll clothes. When I was a teenager he would wait at the window when I would sneak in & out. He was there for every important event, every holiday, etc. Anyway I was by myself at the vets office. I had stopped by to see him & ask how he was doing and they told me there was no hope and that he was suffering. Then they asked me if I wanted to stay while he passed. I said "no", said goodbye to Tigger and left. I regretted that decision ever since. After everything we had been through why did I make him pass in the company of strangers? The whole thing played over & over in my head every night for months. Then eventually that feeling faded and only the good memories remained. I'm sure the same thing will happen for you. Eventually all you will remember is the love & joy.

You were such a great guardian to Cami. You always made sure she received the best care. You are a 1 in a million pet owner. Working in rescue I am reminded of how unique that is and how few people are like you. Right now I have a foster that was given up by his family because he needs expensive knee surgery. With all her health issues Cami was so blessed to have someone that valued her and realized all that she was worth. Thank God that she was brought to you and you to her. It was obviously meant to be. And eventually you all will be together once again.

As I wrote before Boxer World wont be the same without Cami but I hope you will still contribute here. So many have benefited from all you learned from your journey with Cami. Through this board you & Cami have touched & taught so many. I hope eventually your heart will be healed enough to welcome another boxer. And we will all share new experiences, laughs, and learn some more.

God Speed Cami

 

[Widges]

Susi,

I am so sorry to read of Cami's passing. I too felt as though she was mine from reading your posts. You were very lucky to have each other in your lives.
I will keep you & your family in my prayers & thoughts at this difficult time.

 

[MKAD]

Oh Susie,
I am so very sorry to read about you & DH's loss. You are in my thoughts; wish I could give you a hug.
I hope that time eases the pain & sadness.
THINKING OF YOU!!!
Mary, Sally & Sam

 

[SherylM]

I'm so very sorry to hear of Cami's passing. It's very unfortunate that she did not get the peaceful passing that you had wished for. When we had Jack and Avery put to sleep the vet warned us ahead of time that something like that could happen. We were fortunate and very grateful that it didn't.

I had a whole big thing written here but I know that nothing I say can change how you are feeling. So I will just say that you did the most unselfish thing in letting Cami go and releasing her from her pain. She knows she was loved right to the very end. My heart goes out to you and your family.

God speed Cami.

 

[Poetic_thing]

Susie, I'm so very sorry that you had to experience that last moment with Cami - it shouldn't have been. But do know that you did right by Cami, every single moment of her life!! Cami could only have gotten that care and love from you and DH and you did everything for that sweet precious baby. She will always be with you, the hole that is in your heart will always belong to Cami.

God Bless Cami, precious girl.

 

[atlasmom911]

I am so sorry you lost your beautiful baby girl. Godspeed sweet ...Hugs Linda

 

[ehayes21]

Susi,

I am so sorry that it was not the ending you expected, but you did the right thing for Cami. Run free sweet girl. We will always remember you and what an awesome boxer mom you have. Big hugs to you and your husband.

 

[bayleighmom]

I am so sorry. Your beautiful brave girl was such a fighter. Cami is looking down from the bridge now, wondering why her mommy is so sad...she is happy, healthy and pain free. Hugs to you and your family

 

[Tessa]

I am so sorry to hear about Cami. I want you to know that I have read so many of your posts about Cami and you both have provided me with so much help and guidance for me and my two boxers. I have no doubt that you and your husband made the right decision, and dread the day we have to do the same. You've had so many wonderful moments with Cami that you have been kind enough to share with all of us - she was a very lucky boxer to have spent her life with you and you should feel great about that during this difficult time.