Day Out of Days. . .
Hello to all,
I apologize for not being on here in quite awhile, I was busy working, and taking care of Casey and my 6 other dogs. Casey passed away on October 19th, and my house seems so empty ever since. My older dog, 11 year old Rusty, seems lost and follows me everywhere. The only consolation that I have is that Casey is no longer suffering, hopefully she is in a better place, at peace and without pain.
A couple Saturdays before, I had taken Casey in to run some liver tests. At that time, she was eating and walking, and doing amazingly well. I was ecstatic to hear that her liver enzymes were up to normal, her albumin was in the normal range. We had been feeding her this liver diet, and she had been eating like a horse. Things were so great that day, but then something awful happened. We went to a wedding Saturday night, and when we came back, Casey was not doing so well. By Sunday, she could not walk, she was paralyzed in her back legs.
How could a healthy dog all of a sudden become paralyzed??? She could not control her back legs at all, and we had to carry her outside to toilet. We took her to the vet again on Monday, and were given some steroids. Casey seemed to improve, but never could walk that normally. Her spine and back was terribly arthritic, we think that mabye she jumped off the couch and injured her back. My husband babied Casey, and we both encouraged her to walk, and get back to normal. Casey would get better, but then get worse again. She dropped down to 60 lbs, a loss of about 17 lbs.
Finally, it got so bad that Casey was a mere skeleton of herself, she stopped eating, and laid around all of the time. She kept scraping her feet on the concrete outside, and her poor toes were raw. She also had trouble holding her urine, and was urinating all over herself and the carpet. I told David that we had to do something, and, we had done all we could do.
Casey still fought on, and would drag herself around using her front legs. She would follow me room to room, but had stopped eating. Her eyes were sad, and I could tell she was in pain. We used a heating pad on her back, which helped, but I could not handle seeing her the way she was.
On the morning of October 19th, when I was getting ready for work, one of Casey's eyeballs ruptured. David was crying frantically, telling me to call the vet, but I knew what had to be done. No matter how much medicine we gave her, or how we babied her, she was in severe pain, and I had to make the decision to put her down. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. On the way to the vet, Casey seemed to know the end was near, and once at the vet she just laid silently on the table. I cannot describe the pain and helplessness I felt, or the extreme sadness that overwhelmed me when Casey just sighed and went to sleep. I had lost one of my babies, and had made the decision to euthanize her. Did I do the right thing???
To all of you who have gone thru this before, I commend you for your courage, it is a very painful thing to go thru. The decision of whether or not to take a life is very complex, but I could no longer see Casey in the pain she was in. The last few weeks I had to spend with her were trying, and I did everything in my power to try to get Casey better, but I did not have that power. Now I have to accept the decision that I have made, and hope that Casey will forgive me for what I did.
Thank you for all your prayers, recommendations, and support. I decided to have Casey's remains cremated, and will sprinkle them outside--she so loved the outdoors. I did not take any pictures of her when she was sick, I wanted to remember her as the beautiful, happy, healthy dog she once was. Mabye one day I will see her again. . .I can only hope.