xenaprincess
Boxer Insane
Well, I am sure some of you may be surprised, as I have kept this all very private, but I am leaving my DH. Not sure when, but it will happen soon. We have been together for 5yrs and we share a 4yr old daughter. I have 2 boys from a previous marriage...they are 17 & 12. They have had a hard time with my relationship with "John", as John came into their lives so quickly, they did not have time to prepare for this relationship mentally. Since, John has never been a stepfather to either of them. He does not respect them at all! The boys have tolerated John, for me, and respect him when they have to, but they don't like it! I am afraid my teenager and John may soon come to blows, as the tension is so thick! John practises split-parenting, and it is so obvious to everyone around us that Jessica is his favourite! He buys her special treats daily...but only her. His excuse is that she is younger! I KNOW that my 12yr old would love a bag of penny candies just as much as the 4yr old!!
Anyway, he tries to control me...what I wear, who I talk to, where I go (he does not want me going out anywhere unless he is with me!!). He tries to allienate us from our extended family, although they have all been supportive and helped us through some very rough times, as opposed to his own family, who has not spoken to in over 2yrs!! About 2 months ago, I started going to church with my mom and my 2 youngest kids. The kids really enjoy Sunday school and are having fun with the Youth group. DH HATES all of this!! He fights with me all weekend leading up to Sunday, just to ensure that I am miserable before I go out! Last week (Sunday) was the last straw for me. He made like he had a gun in his hand, pulled the trigger at my head, and said "today, you better pray to God"!!! :mad: He did this infront of my daughter!! My teenager has had enough. He says I can do better and that I deserve better. He is right. I have done nothing but think about the kids and how they have suffered through this crappy relationship and how it is affecting them daily!! My kids and myself have been seeing doctors and counsellors to help deal with our anxiety and stress. DH does not see any doctors or receive help or counselling anywhere. The way I see it is that he is messing us up so badly that we are seeing therapists whilst he goes on his merry way being the jerk that he is!!
Anyway, I will be leaving, I just don't know when. I have made arrangements for my boys to stay somewhere and I will take myself and my daughter to a shelter. The boys are too old to come to the shelter with us. I have to do it this way because DH will not leave. I have no choice. I have not stopped crying thinking about my fur-babies. I will attempt to get into housing for now, but they will only allow you to have 1 dog!! I just don't know what to do about that yet! I don't want to think about ever having to get rid of one of my fur-babies!! My head is a mess. I anticipate trouble from DH. He can be very cruel!! There are just sooo many things to think about. I truly look forward to a life on my own, without all this stress, so my kids and I can enjoy each other again!
Thanks for letting me get this out. Any advise or comments would be greatly appreciated. I am feeling like such a mess and a failure to my kids for allowing this to go on and thinking that I could change John. How wrong was that!!
Anyway, he tries to control me...what I wear, who I talk to, where I go (he does not want me going out anywhere unless he is with me!!). He tries to allienate us from our extended family, although they have all been supportive and helped us through some very rough times, as opposed to his own family, who has not spoken to in over 2yrs!! About 2 months ago, I started going to church with my mom and my 2 youngest kids. The kids really enjoy Sunday school and are having fun with the Youth group. DH HATES all of this!! He fights with me all weekend leading up to Sunday, just to ensure that I am miserable before I go out! Last week (Sunday) was the last straw for me. He made like he had a gun in his hand, pulled the trigger at my head, and said "today, you better pray to God"!!! :mad: He did this infront of my daughter!! My teenager has had enough. He says I can do better and that I deserve better. He is right. I have done nothing but think about the kids and how they have suffered through this crappy relationship and how it is affecting them daily!! My kids and myself have been seeing doctors and counsellors to help deal with our anxiety and stress. DH does not see any doctors or receive help or counselling anywhere. The way I see it is that he is messing us up so badly that we are seeing therapists whilst he goes on his merry way being the jerk that he is!!
Anyway, I will be leaving, I just don't know when. I have made arrangements for my boys to stay somewhere and I will take myself and my daughter to a shelter. The boys are too old to come to the shelter with us. I have to do it this way because DH will not leave. I have no choice. I have not stopped crying thinking about my fur-babies. I will attempt to get into housing for now, but they will only allow you to have 1 dog!! I just don't know what to do about that yet! I don't want to think about ever having to get rid of one of my fur-babies!! My head is a mess. I anticipate trouble from DH. He can be very cruel!! There are just sooo many things to think about. I truly look forward to a life on my own, without all this stress, so my kids and I can enjoy each other again!
Thanks for letting me get this out. Any advise or comments would be greatly appreciated. I am feeling like such a mess and a failure to my kids for allowing this to go on and thinking that I could change John. How wrong was that!!
