I need help. This is killing me!!

[StellaBee]

It seems there's some room for compromise. Maybe it's time to leave Buddy at the kennel - he'll eat when he gets hungry enough. Then you and BF can go on that cruise and spend some time alone and re-evaluate your relationship. Good luck - that's a tough situation for anyone to be in.

 

[punchinella]

get rid of BF

Seriously though, sounds to me it's time to take a long, hard look at your relationship. I'm not here to criticize or pass judgement on you or your BF. I don't know your life situation, and don't presume to. I understand all too well the cold realities of life and the hard choices we have to make. But these choices define who we are, and show our character.

What does this say about your BF and his sense of responsibility and commitment? Having a dog IS a responsibility and should not be taken lightly. You mentioned your relationship was on-again, off-again. Maybe there was a reason for the off-again? Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate where this relationship is going, and if it is a direction you want to go.

As I sit here, caring for my just-spayed baby girl, I know darn well who'd get the boot if DH made me decide....needless to say, DH would be spending many a lonely night :D

 

[fayebay1969]

I'm not sure if he'd go for it but how would you go about finding one? We are so active and I know that's what's killing him. He's used to just picking up and going. He wants to take me on a cruise and to places I've never been. He's never had a boxer before so he's really not used to the anxiety if you don't want to pet them and the fact that Buddy cries real tears just kills me. He worships my bf and...I just don't get it, I guess. Our hearts are so different. I'm the type that you can see what I feel on my face. Because of his job and his life, he's learned to hide so much. I guess that's why he very seldom sees me cry. I had someone tell me once that if she could cry like me, she wouldn't have the need for Xanex. I don't know if that's good or bad. I can't read anything in the rainbow bridge here because I can't get past the second sentence on any post. That's just me with boxers. I don't think I can just be the same and say "it's just a dog". Damn it, he's sleeps with us. He does more sleeping than I do. I just squish in a corner and hope to get a couple of hours until I can move him. He eats every meal with us. I usually share my eggs and toast or bagel with cream cheese. He had a steak bone tonight and some of the cooked steak because I couldn't eat alot. I've been just sitting outside with him all night. He loves to just lay in the grass. I've just been sitting there with him, watching the neighbors come and go and sipping my wine. Can I just blink and this all go away? Am I being punished for something really bad I've done in my life? Between this and what I'm dealing with from my daughter, I just don't know anymore. But I know for sure that Buddy doesn't deserve it!

 

[hanley]

Faye,
I'm so sorry for you after reading these post, you or Buddy should not be put in this position. If your BF loved you like he should, he would not have made such a demand about getting rid of Buddy. It sounds like he is very self centered & hasn't matured. The cruise & traveling is just an excuse for him to get to you, he could care less. If he cared he wouldn't have made that demand, he would be looking for someone to care for Buddy so ya'll could go. Don't fall for his head games life is to short.
I don't mean to be crude or mean, but as much as you love Buddy, he never should have even thought about telling you that. He knew what it would do to you, but he didn't care.
Dh & I have been Married for 30yrs & all he wants is me to be happy & has never made such a demand to me & I have never made any to him either. He would never hurt me like that.
Don't let him do this to you, things will never be right if you do. You deserve better.

 

[MxRxSth]

I came across a post and you stated that your BF is the one that brought Buddy home for you and that Buddy was a surprise to you. Since that is the case, then I could not imagine him asking you to get rid of him. I am sorry you are in this situation.

 

[fayebay1969]

Hanley, I don't think they make guys like that in Texas. I've been with him almost 6 1/2 years. I just love Buddy so much. I don't know what to do. I'm really hoping he's just in a mood and it will go away. Yeah right, who am I kidding. I shouldn't even say that. I've been in an abusive relationship and that's what the excuses sound like. I think my hands are tied.

 

[fayebay1969]

I came across a post and you stated that your BF is the one that brought Buddy home for you and that Buddy was a surprise to you. Since that is the case, then I could not imagine him asking you to get rid of him. I am sorry you are in this situation.

Yes, he works alot of off-duty work and thought Buddy would keep me company. He had no clue about how boxers are. Guess he still doesn't. He's so attached but won't admit it. Buddy listens to him more than he does to me. He's like the son he never had. Picture the dog running next to the person looking up at them the whole time and not even looking where they are going, that's how he is. If I dissappear on a trail, it takes him a bit to come look for me. But if my bf does it, he runs so fast, you'd think his tail was on fire. I just don't understand.

 

[Xander's Mom]

Awwww, poor Buddy. Thats the way it goes tho. Imagine all those dogs in shelters that went thru this VERY same situation. :( I'm so sad for him......

 

[hanley]

Faye,
I'm sending prayers for you & Buddy that everything works out for you two.

 

[SandyHG55654]

I just checked back on this and WOW! Please don't be mad I am not meaning to sound harsh but this IMO, I don't know anything about your life. I know you are stressed as it is and don't need more crap and i'm sorry if some of this stings a bit but here it goes. Your Bf sounds like he should be the one being rehomed here! I'm a big old crybaby too but I'd suck it up and stand my ground here. I know you said you have a daughter (if you don't mind answering) is she his? I'm just thinking would he ask you to give her up for a cruise too? My dogs are my kids and I have 3 skin ones too! I often say a kid needs your help when they need to go out, to Dh and he says what kind the fuzzy ones? I think you are thinking you need to better your homelife and help de-stress but this will be a blow to you beyond everything you can imagine! Firstly you said Buddy won't eat when you are away? What do you think he's going to do when you leave him with a new family? I think i'd rather take him to be boarded now and then than face giving him up. Your Bf sounds like a kid who needs a spank! He needs to grow up, it sounds to me like he is jealous of Buddy and wants him out of the way. Then what? Your relationship will be strained like someone else said full of resentment and you will have no choice but to see how this guy realy is. If the relationship doesn't work you'll be kicking yourself for life about what happened to poor buddy! :( I know you are in Texas but that a good man is hard to find crap has to go! Stand up for yourself girl! Do you have anyone who can take Buddy for a week or so so you can see what it will be like with out him? Or board him maybe Bf will miss him? OMG! I am just shocked at this! I hope you figure it out for poor Buddy he deserves to be wanted by all. Again i'm sorry if I made you feel worse none of it was meant to be hurtful to you, Just that big bad Bf