I might have to give Shankly up. Please Advise

[myrocky]

Originally posted by Mikejo
Guys I've got to say that after reading all your replies I'm really pissed off. Apart from the odd few you have all got on your high horses and dished out completly useless advice. Did none of you read the initial post correctly or do you all have blinkers on. If you had taken time to read it properly you would see that it is because we love Shankly so very much that we want the best for her we don't want to get rid of her because she is a hassle to us far from it.

Just a wee bit of the advice I found in this thread:

VASHA:
Is there no neighborhood child that wouldn't appreciate a small payment in return for walking Shankly on a daily basis for you guys?

If you feel that you MUST give her up. Here's a few links to boxer rescue in the UK that can help point you in the right direction. . .

http://www.boxerrescue.co.uk/

http://www.ukboxerdogs.freeuk.com/index.html

http://www.norfolkboxerrescue.co.uk/

VABOXER:
Try getting a young person to walk him daily. Or maybe when your baby gets old enough for walks outside, that is the perfect way to lose weight brought on by pregnancy (or brought on by anything else for that matter).

TRUDY:
Maybe walking the baby and Shankley could be part of her daily routine, okay so maybe she will need to be trained to walk with the carriage or whatever or neighboor hood kids could come and play with her etc.....

KHOUSMAN
If you don't already have a fenced in back yard, maybe you could put one up. I'm sure that your dog could get plenty of exercise running around outside and then you could take her for walks when you're home.

RAM&LEXISMOM
You could maybe crate the dog during the day while you are at work so that your wife does not have to worry about it? Then when you get home you can take the dog out to run and play. And on weekends you can run and play.

MYROCKY
Why can't your wife play with Shankly inside while the baby is sleeping? Babies sleep all the time and this burns off energy just as well as a walk. They can play tug or fetch up and down a stair case. Both of those are great energy burners Get some chew toys and freeze some kongs for Shankly during the day to give her something to do with her time.

What about taking the dog for a good walk before leaving for work in the mornings? Try and wear her out so she might be a little more calm during the day.

ADELLE
I would suggest a dog walking service, till the baby is a bit older and then perhaps your wife can fit a short walk into her daily routine.

VTBXRFAN
Another approach is trying to find a trusted friend or family member who can come over and sit with the baby for an hour or so a few times a week so your wife can take a break from the baby and go out for a nice walk with Shankly or some playtime at the park. Shankly could be a great stress reliever for you and your wife instead of something to stress about.

SANDY OAKEY
Below is a site that is dedicated to helping people keep their pets. They list many reasons why people give up their pets and offer solutions and alternatives. Please check out this site:http://www.wonderpuppy.net/canwehelp/

BARB_IA
When it comes time to take the baby for stroller walks she can take the dog also. Great exercise for all.

BILLYSMUM
Your wife needs to get out of the house too. Is there a field nearby where Shankley can run free? I'm sure she will enjoy a daily walk and Shankley will walk next to the pushchair.

CFHTLHII
Maybe find a friend or someone to watch the dog for you for a couple of days to a week and see how she feels about it. If she still doesn't think she can handle it try giving it another week. Then if she still doesn't think she can handle it start looking into your other options of what you can do.

EXK23
Can you maybe get a family member to help out with the walking a couple of times a week or like it was suggested before, get a dog walker or a neighborhood kid to walk her.

SCORPIO
Doggy day care, student to walk her, crate, etc till your wife is able to care for her too.
There is always a way! You must have some friends that can help out, inlaws, mom or dad, brother , sister??

MATT S
So if after taking all the advice in above you feel the same way, then maybe rescue is the best option.

ELEPHANT
You have a difficult desicion before you. But it seems to me maybe there could be another solution before havng to give your dog away. I am no expert but I like the suggestions of the others for example take dog on walk with baby in stroller,hire a neighborhood child to take him on a walk or maybe someone you know could come by and help your wife for a few hours a day.

Not including all the personal advice you got from those who either went through this or are currently dealing with this exact situation. This was all great advice and I don't understand how it is useless. Unless it is because you have your mind already made up and this is not what you wanted to hear. You wanted advice which is what you got. If you want people to tell you it is OK to dump your kid then you came to the wrong place.

As for some of you comparing dogs on an equal level with human babies then I'm sorry but you really do need you heads looking at. Thanks for you comments but in future I'll not bother.

You have come to a place where we all cherish our animals very much. They are like our children, so this was not appropiate. However being that I am nice I will let it go this ONE time.

 

[buddy'smom]

As I Respond To This Thread Again.....

I am sitting here with Kailee at my side, and thinking IF......

I came to a fork in our road of life, that asked me to chose whether keeping Kailee was in her best interest, or letting her go to a new home, my decision would be......
I would do my utmost to keep her with me. Why? firstly because I love her deeply and also because when I adopted her, I adopted her with a sense of responsibility for her life. No Mike she is not a human, she is a living breathing life that deserves the best in a pet, (I prefer family member), setting. If my outside of the family life, got to the point it was affecting Kailee's quality of life, I would first turn to my family for assistance. You of course, have a wife, a new baby, and I think she is overwhelmed at this point, on how to do both, baby and Shankly. I commend her on being honest in her feelings to you, and now it is upon you to deal with the issue at hand.

If it were me, and my husband told me he could not cope with assisting in Kailee's daily needs and daily attention, I would start with suggestion #1 on this thread and work my way through the list until I found a suggestion that worked. If after all suggestions have been tried and not one of them worked, I would then with a broken heart put Kailee's best interest in the forefront. Would severing a bond between Kailee and us be in her best interest? That is what troubles me, for I would then be placing my "pet/family member" (so as not to humanize her), into a position of grieving the loss of a relationship, (And yes, animals do grieve loss. sometimes the grief can become life threatening) and having to re establish a new bond. This is not a selfish question, this is putting her well being at the forefront, and perhaps giving you some food for thought on Shankly's bond and well being.
I cannot believe that out of everything suggested here that I would get to the letting her be re homed option. Hiring a student or neighbor or agency or doggy daycare, to give her some attention throughout the day is workable and not an outrageous thing to do. A dear friend told me once, it is at the end of the day when it all counts. If I am here when she goes to sleep at night, and when she wakes up in the morning, she will be fine, and so would Shankly. By filling in the in between hours with a hired or volunteering person, is not only a good idea, just think of the extra socialization, it is extremly beneficial to her well being.

IMO if the bond you state both of you have with Shankly is as deep as you state, then this temporary assistance would only be temporary. Your baby is going to get older, your family life will not seem as busy and adding Shankly to your babies life is only going to enrich your babies life that much more.

So, If it were Kailee and my family situation, I think when all is said and done, Kailee would stay with me, using some creativity and workable solutions. As I stated, I assumed an extreme responsiblity that I take very seriously when I adopted her, but I also felt this sense of responsibilty to life when we purchased our first boxer as a pup. They are not a decoration that we purchase then discard when the decor changes. We work around that piece in our life making the rest of the decor fit in with it.

I originally posted Kailee's story as I felt that Shankly could be heading in the same direction of life as Kailee did. However, had Kailee's original family been more creative, and had the man been as devoted as he stated, they too could have been creative and enhanced her life instead of hurting her.

 

[vasha]

Why? because when I adopted her, I adopted her with a sense of responsibility for her life.

This is SO TRUE! Our animals are dependent on us to provide for them in every possible way. We are their providers. Love, Food, Shelter, everything comes from us.

Mike - again the decision here is yours, but there have been AMPLE suggestions made to help you keep your family intact. If you have already made up your mind to re-home Shankly, why did you come to BW to ask for advice?

And yes there are many emotions for you to sort through, but Andie (my rocky) made it easy on you and filtered out the emotional stuff and left you with the suggestions.

I truly hope that you can come up with a compromise in this situation and are willing to utilize some of the suggestions that have come up.

I can't stay away from this post as it angers and saddens me a the same time. Please remember that you are Shankly's life, the love you get from Shankly is unconditional and never-ending.

Again, good luck.

a snuggles n kisses lovicon
kaiser hugs n slobbers
VaSHa

 

[Mom3]

Regarding buddy'smom's last post..... what could possibly be added to that? It sums it up beautifully. I wish you luck in your decision, Mike.

 

[VTbxrFan]

I'd like to add one more thing to all of the great points made by others. Dogs are not human. I won't argue that. But here's the thing -- dogs are in our lives because of choices we as humans have made. Every domesticated dog is here because some human either intentionally bred to create more puppies or unintentionally bred through a careless decision not to spay and/or neuter their dog. These animals have not asked to be brought into this world, into our homes, or into our lives. We make these decisions and it's time to start taking responsibility for that. The most important step is thinking long term about the commitment required before you get a dog. No matter how anyone comes across a dog -- purchased as a puppy, adopted from a rescue or shelter, given up from a friend or neighbor, stray that wanders into the yard and is allowed to stay -- there is a point in the very beginning where a decision is made to accept responsibility for that dog. People need to realize that responsibility extends into the future, and people need to think long and hard about the changes that will come in their life during the next 10 to 20 years when that dog might still be around. Making sacrifices will always be part of that responsibility, and if people aren't willing to make those sacrifices, they have no business getting pets.

Mike, I do feel for you and I do not mean to be insensitive to your situation, but if we try to make you feel better about even thinking of giving up Shankly, that sends the message to anyone who ever reads this message in the future that pets are disposable. Maybe in the end another home will be in her best interest if she will be neglected or abused -- I don't see that happening and if I thought that was the case now, I'd be first in line telling you to turn her over to rescue, but I still wouldn't let you feel good about your decision. If you want to feel good about your situation, recognize the commitment you made to Shankley and do absolutely everything in your power to keep that commitment to her. If you love Shankly, you can do that. If you don't love Shankly, then you made a mistake that can't be fixed the day you brought her home.

None of us are perfect, either. I know there are plenty of days when I'm really busy and I feel badly that Dallas hasn't gotten as much attention as he deserves, but I believe that he knows I'm not perfect and he doesn't ask me to be perfect, just as I don't ask him to be perfect. When he lays down next to me to go to sleep and I pat him on the head and tell him I'm sorry, we both know he's still where he belongs.

 

[Dragosani1]

The question noone has asked yet....

I was just wondering..........
When you got Shankly, was this a joint effort between you and your wife? Or did you just get Shankly by yourself? I am wondering because it sounds like she is making excuses just to get rid of an animal that she doesn't want. I understand how torn you must be, but........I see no reason why a mother cannot take care of her child and a pet. I grew up with a rather rambunctious dog and I cannot imagine what my life would have been like had my parents gotten rid of him right after I was born. If you get rid of Shankly, what will you do if you have another baby down the road? Get rid of your first child? I know firsthand that a human child is much more demanding than a furry one. I think you need to sit down with your wife and ask why she really wants to get rid of Shankly. Then go from there. Otherwise you will just be abandoning a member of your family because it is inconvenient for both of you to put forth a little extra effort for the next few months. :confused:

 

[elephant]

Im Sorry

Mike,
The last thing I wanted or any of us wanted to do was to make your wife cry. We understand you have a difficult decision and that is why we gave suggestions ( per your request)...and they are only suggestions because you and only you can make the final decision on Shankly's life. I do wish all of you the best of luck.

 

[Bosco'sMom]

Ditto! Ditto! Ditto! to what Andie (Rocky's Mom) posted earlier on this page. As from what I can see you got plenty of advice. And good advise at that! Now I don't fully know your situation so I am not going to judge you. I don't think anyone else was judging you either. We just cannot understand when things like this happen.

Now I don't have skin children either but I will tell you this, My dogs are my children. They will always be treated as my children. They will always be included in my life. I can't stand people who say, "Oh, he's just a dog". So what! He's a living, breathing animal that deserves as much love and attention as you can give.

And guess what? I don't walk my dogs every day either. For one thing, Bosco is almost impossible to walk because he's not very well trained to walk on a leash and pulls my arm off. Does this make me a bad person? NO. I let them out into the back yard (which is fenced) and we play fetch with his favorite ball or frisbee. He loves this and gets plenty of excercise this way. I'm sure your wife could find other ways such as this (and ways others have suggested to give the dog a little attention and exercise). If you don't feel you can use the suggestions then I just hope you find her a good home with people who love her as she deserves. Maybe you had already made up your mind before you asked for advise?

So good luck and don't get mad at us. We just love our dogs and yes to us they are like children.


P.S. That link that Matt S posted (How could you) had me in tears. Did you read that? So soo sad. I hope your little Shankley doesn't end up that way.

 

[mrsdp2]

I know that everyone on here really loves there boxers and so do I. But I have to say that you guys are making it very hard for people to come to the board and ask for advice. I just read the all the post and I really think you are being very hard on the guy for just asking for HELP. There are many other ways to word your concerns than to make him and his wife feel bad. This board is not for people to be mean and nasty to other people. I am sure I will get plenty of replies to what I have said. But I thought that I would voice my opinion.

 

[vaboxer]

mrsdp2 ~ EVERYONE has a right to their opinion!

Many of us have been here for quite some time...and many of us work with rescues...many of us have given GOOD ADVICE...and we have been berated for it.

When people ask for advice they should want advice...we gave it...I apologize if it doesnt sound nice...many times our feelings get the best of us when we are thinking about the lives of our beloved Boxers...