I might have to give Shankly up. Please Advise

[buddy'smom]

My thoughts and Kailee's Story

Well, I totally agree with everyone's opinion on thinking that pets are disposable, however, I am going to play Devil's Advocate on this one and tell you in brief my Kailee's story. I think it is important that you hear it, as I see similarities in her story and this one.
Kailee and how she came to be a rescue boxer at the age of two. Kind of the same story.
The husband in the beginning had all good intentions of doing right by Kailee when he bought her as a pup, took her to Obedience Training (Yepper Kailee passed all courses and has diploma's that were sent with her when we adopted her. Amazing if you knew her now LOLOL ) and kept up with all her vet checks and immunizations. On with my story......
The wife decided when Kailee was still under that age of one, that she did not like Kailee, nor have the time to deal with Kailee. My dear little boxer girl was sent to live her life in the back yard. On a good day, she was allowed in the laundry room penned up. Over the course of a very short time, it became convenient to just leave Kailee outside, no shelter supplied, but to live in All Ontario Weather Elements rain, snow, blazing heat,high humidity etc. basically fending for her own survival. Oh, they fed her when they remembered, but considering what she looked like when she came to us, I think feedings became few and far between. To this day ( 19 mo. later) Kailee still gives us a kiss before and after EVERY meal she eats, kind of like she is thanking us. She will not start her meal until she has given the kiss, and the after kiss is immediate, she seeks us out to give it to us. The neighbors, who were active in getting Kailee into rescue, reported they could hear her crying in the rain, whimpering in the heat, they made sure she had water, oh and for fun, no toys were supplied, Kailee amused herself with what scraps of garbage she could find laying in the yard.
This thread sounds so much like it could head in the direction that Kailee's life went so I suggest if the wife feels she cannot cope, then rehome the Shankly now, before he has even a taste of Kailees demise.
I am not advocating that any dog is disposable, but I do like to advocate when I see a Potential for a sad life for a boxer, act on it now, before you have caused him some harm. That is a short version of Kailee's story, and my piece on advocating on her behalf in hopes that we can prevent any dog from living this way again.

Jean

 

[Nedra's_momma]

I have to agree with what has been said concerning dogs as a part of the family, not to be disposed of when an infant enters the household.

While I understand how unnerving it may be watching your teeny-tiny newborn infant and that big boxer head exploring each other for the first few times, I think it is important to remember a few things here...

No human child, not a one, is completely free from feeling at least a little bit jealous when the newest addition arrives in the household. My question is: why then, would you expect any different from a dog that has, up until now, been an only "child"?? Of course there will be an adjustment period, just like there is with a (previously) only child. Just because the human "big brother" gets a little jealous of all the attention that the baby is getting hardly means that he needs to be given up for adoption.

In my opinion, the dog needs to have the point reinforced that yes, he is still a member of the family, and no, you aren't trying to replace him. Stiffing him on his walks isn't exactly the way to do this. I understand that babies are a handful for at least the first few months they are home, but is there not *one hour* that either you or your wife could step outside and take Shankley for a walk?

Please reconsider giving Shankley up. You are his world, you are everything to him. If you do decide that the situation is unworkable, please look into an area boxer rescue.

Good luck

 

[Zeke's mommy]

I understand your wifes concern but must also side with everyone else on this one.


I am 22 years old, live in an apartment with my "husband to be" and my boxer, work 40 hours a week, own and ride a horse, keep up with my family and friends, love my dog dearly and spend as much time as possible with him, and my fiance starts college in about a month!! We have a very hectic and busy schedule but Zeke is always taken care of and loved. After Tony completes college, we are planning on buying our home and starting a family. I look forward to having my fur and skin baby together in the future.

I guarantee Zeke will be a part of our lives where ever we may end up until his time at the bridge....hopefully many years to come

 

[Mom3]

While I understand (and share) the feelings of most of the posters here regarding our "disposable society" and the need to think ahead before becoming a dog owner, I have to agree with Bonnie and Buddy'sMom that perhaps the best thing for Shankley would be a new, loving home where the people do have time for him. That having been said, I would give it a little more time (if possible) before making a final decision. As many have noted here, the first few months of motherhood are extremely stressful, but it DOES get easier. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Mikejo]

Guys I've got to say that after reading all your replies I'm really pissed off. Apart from the odd few you have all got on your high horses and dished out completly useless advice. Did none of you read the initial post correctly or do you all have blinkers on. If you had taken time to read it properly you would see that it is because we love Shankly so very much that we want the best for her we don't want to get rid of her because she is a hassle to us far from it. We want her to have the highest quality of life possible and my wife (who was reduced to tears by your coments) feel that she is sometimes not able to give her the attention she deserves when I'm not around. As for some of you comparing dogs on an equal level with human babies then I'm sorry but you really do need you heads looking at. Thanks for you comments but in future I'll not bother.

 

[oddlou]

Mike,

Being that I'm an odd one, I can see how what was said by others could be taken by you in a negative light, but sometimes our true intentions/emotions do not come out when we post a short message on a message board such as this. When I first read your post I was saddened by the situation and could see why you were having trouble. I too feel sad when I'm unable to give Lou the attention that he's used to (like during finals!) but not having him around would kill me. That being said, I really do think that because you love her so much, you would probably regret giving her up. I'm sure that Shankly will be able to adjust to having a baby around and that she'll still get plenty of attention, if somewhat less than before. And in the not so distant future, she'll probably get even more attention than she was getting when she was part of a family of only 3. :D If you do decide to give her up, please follow through in finding her a home where you know she will get lots of love- I'm sure you will. In any event, congratulations to you and your wife on your skinkid, and good luck with whatever decision you do make.

 

[cfhtlhii]

I just wanted to mention that I went back and read your post again to be sure I had read correctly. I still feel it is too soon after having a baby for your wife to make such an important decision. Things look so grim when you have been up all night and are still learning to understand your baby. I just would hate for things to clear up and have her feelings completely change and then it would be too late. With Princess, when she is wanting attention and I am busy with the baby she climbs up and lays by me and is content with that till I get a few more minutes. Now, I must say that I agree that dogs and our skin kids are not equal, there is a big difference.
OH YEAH! I meant to say this before, CONGRATULATIONS on the new baby.
God Bless!

Connie

 

[bonnie]

I'm Sorry

Mike & Wife,

I'm truly sorry if I have offended you . . .it was not my intention to do so. None of us live behind "you doors" so to speak. I don't know what you and your wife are going through at this time. I really feel that what everyone is trying to stress to you is please think long and hard about what you are going to do. Like oddlou said, Shankley will/can adjust to new routines.

Having had a child (20 years ago :eek: ) I know you wife should not be "overdoing" the pushing, pulling, lifting, etc. for @ six weeks. If a c-section, even longer. I almost hemorraghed (sp) right after my son was born by trying to do too much :(

Please try to understand everyone's concern. I'm sure no one meant to upset/anger you and your wife. The best interest of Shankley and your family means alot.

 

[TayandRee]

hmmmmmm

I have a million things I could say right now, but I will just go by my own experience.

My husband is a Marine. I have a 2 year old and one that just turned 4 last week. We have Princess also. You wanna talk about long hours, my husband is gone for months at a time. Im not quite sure what offended you really. Was it the fact that maybe you feel that people are right and you are treating a living breathing feeling loving creature like its disposable. Or is it just that you don't like the fact that no one made it easier for you to make the decision.

I fully feel now that you should give Shankly up. It is pretty clear that you don't consider her a full member of your family, since you think that those of us who do should have our heads "looking" at. Princess may be new to our family, but dogs are not, and by having a dog, we limit our housing options greatly with our life. Yet I would rather go home and wait for my husband to find a house our whole "family" can live in than just give my "furbaby" away when we move. Maybe I am just used to separation, but my pet is my family as much as my kids, and I would rather spend a couple of extra months away from my husband, than regret and miss one of my "babies" forever. Sorry I didn't give you the answer you wanted, and sorry that I don't feel guilty for not doing so.

I can now only pray that Shankly ends up in a good and loving home, and I wish I were close enough to give it to her.

 

[Peggy G]

Mike, I hope you and your wife were able to pull some suggestions from the various posts that sounded like a good plan of action for you so that you can keep Shankley. I'm sure that you are willing to try anything before making that decision or you wouldnt have posted for help.

Having a new baby and a boxer can be overwhelming. Hormones can compond that 3 fold. (Your wife probably feels like somethings got to give.) But it does get better even if it doesnt feel like it at this time. I'm afraid that if you get rid of Shankley then when things settle down (and they will) you will look back and regret your decision.

We have gone through stages in our household where Scarlet does not get the attention that she deserves. We are going through this now as my husband is having some medical problems and has been in and out of the hospital. Scarlet has no choice but to deal with it until we were able to get back into our normal or new routine. We take every moment possible to play with her since she has been spending more time in the crate than she is used to but it's not always easy.

I really like the suggestion of having a neighborhood kid come over once a day to take Shankley for a walk. This will help Shankley burn some energy and will give your wife a little break. (We all know how much better boxers behave when they have burned off energy) In time maybe your wife can try to walk the dog and baby together and discover that she enjoys her daily walk.