Austin's Mom
Boxer Insane
Last Monday morning when I called my Mom as usual at 8:30 she didn't pick up the phone. My son and I flew over there as fast as we could fearing the worst. When we got there it was my worst nightmare. We found my Mom in her bed, passed on. I tried frantically to revive her waiting for 911 to get there, but it was no use. It feels like a bad dream I can't wake up from. I mean she had some health issues, but nothing having to do with her heart as far as we knew. She was recovering from bronchitis and Robbie had spent the weekend with her taking care of her. They had such a strong and special bond, and not only did he have to see that he had to see his own mother completely hysterical. And he can't get the image out of his mind of his Gramma. Poor kid is only 11, and I'm going to get counseling for him and myself. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life, losing my Dad was hard but this is just the worst. Today my husband (who was a saint thru this whole thing) went back to work and the kids went back to school and it was just me and Austin. I was with my Mom every day, we would go shopping or something, then have lunch and hang out here till after dinner and I would take her home. I look at where she should be sitting on the couch and it just breaks my heart in a million pieces that she's not there. Austin is looking at where she would put her shoes cuz he tried to grab them off her feet as soon as she walked in the door. It's an emptiness I just can't describe, and I just cry all the time. I miss my Mom so much it hurts me physically. I'm lost. The only consolation is that she went in her sleep (hopefully), which is what she always prayed for. Thankfully I have a lot of support, and a lot of xanax. It just seems so surreal. So, if you would please say a prayer for my Mom, I just love her so much. Today is my Mom and Dad's 52nd wedding anniversary, and they get to spend it together for the first time in 12 years.
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