Originally posted by harley27
I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on.
I will not steal used sanitary napkins from the bathroom garbage.
I will not eat other animals' poop.
I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
I will not roll my head around in other animals' poop.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
I will not chew crayons or pens, 'specially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.