Blonde on Horseback

[jess]

No offence to anyone but I thought this was funny....

Blonde on Horseback

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she
has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse
unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the
blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror,
she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a
firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck,
but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap
away from the horse and throw herself to safety, but her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere
moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune,
Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

Thank God for heros.

 

[Laurie_Duke]

That was pricless...I can't stop laughing...for gods sake I cannot even type this !!!

Thank you so much for the laugh ~~~



Laurie. (once a blonde)
:D

 

[ljnash]

That is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!:D

 

[Baileysmom]

Too funny, I had a feeling it was going to end something along those lines!!

 

[SammynDqtz]

LOL!!!! :p I have heard that one before... it is so funny! :D
Some of those blonde jokes are so crazy! :p Nothing against blondes! It's just too funny... here's another. Can't remember it exactly but here goes...

A man, a brunette, and a blonde go for a drive in the man's truck, the brunette and the man are in the cab and the blonde is riding in the truck bed. As they cross over a little bridge, the man looses control of the truck and they go under the water. The man and the brunette quickly surface and ask " where is the blonde?"... a minute later the blonde comes up. They ask "what took you so long?" She says, I had to get the gate open. :p

 

[epdjr]

LOL!! As long as we are on blonde jokes heres one for ya. Believe me I have nothing against blondes but these are pretty funny. Someone should post different types of jokes if they have them. I just like laughing.:p :p :p :p

Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized. She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, “I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?”

 

[epdjr]

As long as we're on jokes, this has to be one of my all time fvorites so I have to share!

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.

“Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can’t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little mad, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.

“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren’t getting any milk this morning.”

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he’s walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “Are you going to tell him, or should I?”

 

[epdjr]

Here's 1 last one before I head home for the day, enjoy:p :p

A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, “Honey,pack your bags. I won the darn lottery!”

The wife says,“Ohmigod! No crap?! What should I pack,beach stuff or mountain stuff?”

The husband yells back,“It doesn’t matter… just get the heck out!”

 

[epdjr]

OK I lied, one last one but I just couldn't resist this one. I'm deffinately leaving, see everyone tomorrow:D

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “OK jerk, I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person…because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large…all in the name of humor.”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blonde pipes up, “You stay out of this mister, I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

 

[Scrapper's Mom]

Can you stand one more?

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. For years and years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp. They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says, "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home" ... POOF she is gone.

Then the redhead makes her wish, "This place sucks, I want to go home too" ... POOF she is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her, "My dear what is the matter?" The blonde replies, "I wish my friends were here"

... POOF!!!