Are your skin kids messy?
- Thread starter Coco'smommy
- Start date
- Status
1FlashyFan
Boxer Insane
Lovely Rita said:
Sarah, you have no idea how refreshing your perspective on tidiness is!!!!
If my 7 year old could reach through the internet and hug you for expressing her feelings so eloquently she would. Thanks for reminding me to do a serious self-check on my parenting once in a while. I have moments were I lose perspective when I see a messy room and now I will smile (instead of grumble) as I remember your very wise words. Dr. Phil could NOT have said it better :D
Last edited:
Coco'smommy
Boxer Insane
Thank you Sarah, that really was lovely and I can completely see your points. BTW my daughter's name is Sarah with an H just like yours 
Lovely Rita
Boxer Booster
Oh stop it you guys :D:D!! I'm seriously blushing right now!! :D:D
K8IE
Boxer Insane
Sarah said a lot of what I have been thinking. Children thrive on praise and encouragement. They are more likely to NOT do what you want them to when negativity is thrown in when you ask them to do something because they feel criticized. I think it is important to instill a sense of ownership and responsibility in your kids when they are very young and that way they will want to take care of the nice things that they have. My son is almost 6 ( I still can't believe that...) and he has always been a neat kid, not crazy, but he likes to know where his things are and he is proud of having his own "jobs" to do and is always so pleased with himself when he finishes! He is extremely creative and has a lot of great ideas and I let him help me figure out what we will do. I think there is a lot to be said for organization and a routine of some sort. In my house I try to have a place for everything, bins for certain toys, baskets, whatever, and designated areas for certain things. My son knows where things go and that makes it easy for him when it is time to clean up. He puts his dirty clothes in his own hamper, his dishes away, etc. Now, don't laugh, I am a little anal I guess and my last name is MONK!!! I was not always this neat, though. I was a bit a of a pack rat, and we used to live in a tiny house before building our new home. While we were in our old home I got to where I was feeling so crowded that I literally just made the choice and changed my habits one day at a time. It is not easy to do, you have to be consistent, but I just made a better routine for myself and made myself sit down and do certain things instead of putting them off and letting messes pile up. If I just keep up with things and don't let things get out of hand then there is plenty of time for going to the park, playing, reading, etc. Granted, I have the luxury of staying home right now, but I have worked up to 3 jobs at one time and still juggled it all. I think what others have suggested about making incentives, charts, allowances is a great idea, it gives the kids a good way to see how their efforts pay off.
Children thrive on praise and encouragement. They are more likely to NOT do what you want them to when negativity is thrown in when you ask them to do something because they feel criticized. I think it is important to instill a sense of ownership and responsibility in your kids when they are very young and that way they will want to take care of the nice things that they have. My son is almost 6 ( I still can't believe that...) and he has always been a neat kid, not crazy, but he likes to know where his things are and he is proud of having his own "jobs" to do and is always so pleased with himself when he finishes! He is extremely creative and has a lot of great ideas and I let him help me figure out what we will do. I think there is a lot to be said for organization and a routine of some sort. In my house I try to have a place for everything, bins for certain toys, baskets, whatever, and designated areas for certain things. My son knows where things go and that makes it easy for him when it is time to clean up. He puts his dirty clothes in his own hamper, his dishes away, etc. Now, don't laugh, I am a little anal I guess and my last name is MONK!!! I was not always this neat, though. I was a bit a of a pack rat, and we used to live in a tiny house before building our new home. While we were in our old home I got to where I was feeling so crowded that I literally just made the choice and changed my habits one day at a time. It is not easy to do, you have to be consistent, but I just made a better routine for myself and made myself sit down and do certain things instead of putting them off and letting messes pile up. If I just keep up with things and don't let things get out of hand then there is plenty of time for going to the park, playing, reading, etc. Granted, I have the luxury of staying home right now, but I have worked up to 3 jobs at one time and still juggled it all. I think what others have suggested about making incentives, charts, allowances is a great idea, it gives the kids a good way to see how their efforts pay off. 
bucca
Boxer Insane
spud's mum said:
i only have one but thats so true my son does that, but its my fault because i always did it for him, my parents warned me and so did my husband but i always picked up his stuff and put his things away for him, so now at 14 im trying to teach him to clean for himself and its a battle.
Coco'smommy
Boxer Insane
See...I have decided since reading a lot of people's opinions/ideas that I am probably dealing with something very similar. Up until the last couple of years I have always done EVERYTHING around my house. I never asked DH or the kids for any kind of help. Well one day I woke up and said Hey, I cannot and should not be expected to work FT, go to school and handle everything around this house too! I grew up in a household like that though. My dad went to work everyday and my mom did everything else including making my dad's lunch every single day and refilling his cup when it was empty. I mean really! My marriage & family began that way because that's what I knew. Well I finally got my husband to pitch in with relatively no whining, now the kids are a different story. I spoiled them and trying to change that behavior is going to be tough. Earlier I eluded to a website and I typed it wrong but it should have read flylady.net. I think that there are some good ideas on there and I intend to implement them around our home to get everyone involved and hopefully if there is some kind of order & routine in place it will make this transition a lot smoother. We will also begin an allowance for the children providing they complete their chores as they're asked, etc. It will be a bargaining tool as well if needed. By the way, my husband was very happy to hear of my plan last night and was the first to jump up and begin cleaning up the kitchen after supper. We all did it together and it was very nice.
1FlashyFan
Boxer Insane
Shine your sink....
Flylady is awesome!!! It's really is a great website with lots of wonderful ideas. There is a Flylady book but you pretty much get the program for free on the website. She addresses the issue of children quite well
BTW, Saving Dinner is great too! The recipes are really good and well-balanced (even picky eaters seem to like them) and it really makes a difference when you've got mealtime under control.
Flylady is awesome!!! It's really is a great website with lots of wonderful ideas. There is a Flylady book but you pretty much get the program for free on the website. She addresses the issue of children quite well
BTW, Saving Dinner is great too! The recipes are really good and well-balanced (even picky eaters seem to like them) and it really makes a difference when you've got mealtime under control.
Last edited:
arifanddebbi
Boxer Booster
I'm pretty lucky, my six year old is as anal as my dh and I are about certain things. Except with his bedroom. That is a disaster, but let me forget to put napkins on the table and I never hear the end of it.
When my 23 year old was a teen, she was horrible. I used to battle with her, then one day I said, okay you want to live like a slob, do it, but don't let it escape that bedroom. I would close the door and walk away. I also quit doing her laundry. When she couldn't find clean clothes she'd whine to me. I would tell her to check the floor and if she couldn't find anything clean then she better do her own laundry. She eventually grew out of that.
My house will never be a show home, not with kids, furbabies and everything else, but it's a happy crazy home.
When my 23 year old was a teen, she was horrible. I used to battle with her, then one day I said, okay you want to live like a slob, do it, but don't let it escape that bedroom. I would close the door and walk away. I also quit doing her laundry. When she couldn't find clean clothes she'd whine to me. I would tell her to check the floor and if she couldn't find anything clean then she better do her own laundry. She eventually grew out of that.
My house will never be a show home, not with kids, furbabies and everything else, but it's a happy crazy home.
- Status