stormysmom
Boxer Pal
We lost our baby Zeus this morning. I still cannot quite grasp that he is gone. I just can't imagine life without him, and don't know how we're going to get through this.
He was only 15 months old, but unfortunately had some major health problems. At 6 months old, we found out he had heart disease (subaortic stenosis) -- but it was graded as a mild form. Fortunately the condition didn't progress. Then about two months ago, he started coughing. We went back to the specialists at the university, and after extensive testing we were told his only chance of survival was to have one of his lung lobes removed, as it was completely consolidated and not getting any oxygen. He was close to dying when we brought him in there, they told us. So we of course went ahead and had the surgery about 3 weeks ago. They found his lungs were diseased (although they still can't tell us why even now) - and were only able to get out 2/3 of the disease. But we were still hopeful for a good prognosis, being how young he was. He was such a strong boy, and came through the surgery pretty good - and after a long week was able to come home to us. But since he's been back, he's been coughing and hacking and hasn't had much energy (which is not at all like our wild Zeus). He pretty much slept most of the time - but we did have the pleasure on a few of his good days when he was able to jump in our bed at night and keep us company for a few last times. Looking back now, I will treasure these moments. We've been working with the vets, changing his medication and dosages, all with the hopes that they would be able to help him and figure out the right medication for him. We were going to the University of Illinois Vet Teaching Hospital, which has a wonderful reputation and top notch people. Yet they couldn't figure out what Zeus had, or why he wasn't getting better - which was so completely frustrating. We actually had a recheck appointment again today at 11:30. But we never got the chance for that. Last night, he really was not his self. He was acting very lethargic, and his belly became all swollen and hard. Plus he had stopped coughing altogether and seemed to be having difficulty breathing again. We drove the 2 and a half hours back to the University to their ER department, and they told us that he had bloat, and his only chance was to do emergency surgery. We weighed the options, but still felt like we had to give our baby one last chance. The surgery went fine, but surgeon came and told us that his liver was so large, they've never seen anything like it. They were waiting for him to come out of anesthesia, said he was having a hard time with it - but sent us home and said they would call with an update in a few hours. I wanted to wait, but they insisted we go, as we wouldn't be able to see him for a few days. We got about 2 blocks, and they called and said his heart had had some arrhythmias, and they tried giving medication to help it, but it stopped and he passed away. This was just after we had walked out the door!
I've never felt so lost or crushed as I do now. We are now second guessing everything - wondering if we never should have put him through either surgery, if he has been suffering since. Were we just being selfish? The guilt is overwhelming. And then I keep thinking how he had this bloat condition for so many hours last night, without us even realizing, and how he must have been in so much pain, even if he didn't show us. My poor baby!
We just got home, and it is sinking in that he won't be coming home. I feel like someone has ripped out my heart. We never got a chance to see him grow up. I know they say to be thankful for the time you did have with them, and I am - but I feel so cheated. He was such a loving, silly and beautiful boy, and brought us so much joy and happiness in the short time he was with us. I just wish I knew why he had to leave us so soon.
We also have a 8-1/2 year old boxer female, Stormy, his "sister", who is our first baby and boxer, and I don't quite think she understands he is gone. Although thinking back, last night there was a time when she was laying next to him, just licking his face and paws - she knew something was wrong even before we did. I am so sad for her too - he brought so much youth back to her. I wonder how this will affect her too. Just when she learned to love him and share us and her house with him, now he's gone.
Thank you for letting me share our story here. I know there are so many of you who have experienced this, and my heart goes out to all of you. I hope my Zeus is playing at the bridge with all of your babies.
Dana
He was only 15 months old, but unfortunately had some major health problems. At 6 months old, we found out he had heart disease (subaortic stenosis) -- but it was graded as a mild form. Fortunately the condition didn't progress. Then about two months ago, he started coughing. We went back to the specialists at the university, and after extensive testing we were told his only chance of survival was to have one of his lung lobes removed, as it was completely consolidated and not getting any oxygen. He was close to dying when we brought him in there, they told us. So we of course went ahead and had the surgery about 3 weeks ago. They found his lungs were diseased (although they still can't tell us why even now) - and were only able to get out 2/3 of the disease. But we were still hopeful for a good prognosis, being how young he was. He was such a strong boy, and came through the surgery pretty good - and after a long week was able to come home to us. But since he's been back, he's been coughing and hacking and hasn't had much energy (which is not at all like our wild Zeus). He pretty much slept most of the time - but we did have the pleasure on a few of his good days when he was able to jump in our bed at night and keep us company for a few last times. Looking back now, I will treasure these moments. We've been working with the vets, changing his medication and dosages, all with the hopes that they would be able to help him and figure out the right medication for him. We were going to the University of Illinois Vet Teaching Hospital, which has a wonderful reputation and top notch people. Yet they couldn't figure out what Zeus had, or why he wasn't getting better - which was so completely frustrating. We actually had a recheck appointment again today at 11:30. But we never got the chance for that. Last night, he really was not his self. He was acting very lethargic, and his belly became all swollen and hard. Plus he had stopped coughing altogether and seemed to be having difficulty breathing again. We drove the 2 and a half hours back to the University to their ER department, and they told us that he had bloat, and his only chance was to do emergency surgery. We weighed the options, but still felt like we had to give our baby one last chance. The surgery went fine, but surgeon came and told us that his liver was so large, they've never seen anything like it. They were waiting for him to come out of anesthesia, said he was having a hard time with it - but sent us home and said they would call with an update in a few hours. I wanted to wait, but they insisted we go, as we wouldn't be able to see him for a few days. We got about 2 blocks, and they called and said his heart had had some arrhythmias, and they tried giving medication to help it, but it stopped and he passed away. This was just after we had walked out the door!
I've never felt so lost or crushed as I do now. We are now second guessing everything - wondering if we never should have put him through either surgery, if he has been suffering since. Were we just being selfish? The guilt is overwhelming. And then I keep thinking how he had this bloat condition for so many hours last night, without us even realizing, and how he must have been in so much pain, even if he didn't show us. My poor baby!
We just got home, and it is sinking in that he won't be coming home. I feel like someone has ripped out my heart. We never got a chance to see him grow up. I know they say to be thankful for the time you did have with them, and I am - but I feel so cheated. He was such a loving, silly and beautiful boy, and brought us so much joy and happiness in the short time he was with us. I just wish I knew why he had to leave us so soon.
We also have a 8-1/2 year old boxer female, Stormy, his "sister", who is our first baby and boxer, and I don't quite think she understands he is gone. Although thinking back, last night there was a time when she was laying next to him, just licking his face and paws - she knew something was wrong even before we did. I am so sad for her too - he brought so much youth back to her. I wonder how this will affect her too. Just when she learned to love him and share us and her house with him, now he's gone.
Thank you for letting me share our story here. I know there are so many of you who have experienced this, and my heart goes out to all of you. I hope my Zeus is playing at the bridge with all of your babies.
Dana
