Thinking about a 3rd skin kid-long

[LuvDaBabies]

Okay, so we have two boys; Conner will be 6 at the end of June and Tyler just turned 1. Conner has severe ADHD and started showing signs at 2yrs (that's why the big spread between kids). We thought we were horrible parents and didn't think we should have anymore kids. Well, we got all that straightened out and now Conner is doing great! He's the best big brother in the world! He loves Ty so much it melts my heart when I see them play together. Tyler is the sweetest, calmest baby, didn't even cry when he was born; they thought he wasn't breathing, but no, he just wasn't crying!

So, we've had one on each end of the spectrum on personality. I'm afraid to tempt fate and have another child with ADHD at the extreme levels Conner had, but the pediatricina saids that's not very likely. I also want a girl. Three kids is one thing, but three of the same sex. I'd be okay with a boy, don't get me wrong, but I worry about the middle child of 3 same sex kids.

We had a "scare" when Tyler first showed up that we were pregnant and I freaked because I didn't want them 10 months apart. We had a recent "scare" and I was bummed that the results were negative. Now that we've been talking about it, DH and I both really want a 3rd. If we "do it" now they will be about 21ish months apart. Or we could wait a year. DHh wants the 3rd to be conceived before he turns 35, which is NEXT September (I'm only 28).

So, given all that, any advice about 3 kids that would be either 7, 2 and just born or 8, 3 and just born? Easier to have the last two 2 years apart or 3 years apart? Are we crazy to tempt fate? Likelihood of having the 3rd be a girl (DH's family didn't have any girls born in the last 5 generations, his older brother's 3rd is a girl and the first one in a long time)?

 

[Indy B's Mom]

I can relate to the bummed feeling about a negative test. After our daughter was born, DH decided he didn't want any more kids-he got the little girl he wanted. There are times that I would love another baby, but I'm okay with just having my daughter, too. It sounds like you and your husband would both enjoy another little one in the house and I don't blame you-kids rock!! I'm sure if a new little soul is meant to come to you, he or she will. I think that these babies know what they're doing when they decide to come into the world. Michael and I tease that Haley was planned-we just planned her 3 years later than she decided to come ha-ha. I worked as a nanny for a family with 4 kids and it was so much fun! I say the more the merrier!!

 

[GinsMomma]

I would say go for the 3rd! Like the pediatricina said, "It's not very likely" to have another child with the same extreme levels. I'm no expert at all or even know anyone with ADHD, well that I know of. How do you know if a child has it or not? I sometimes wonder about my 4 yr. old son. He has no interest in learning, he still doesn't know his ABC's. My 2yr. is learning them very well & can count so good. I hate to say it but better than my 4 yr. old! She was even potty trained at 20 months, all her. I was ready for her to stay in diapers til she turned 3, like my son did.
I've often thought about having a 3rd, but me & DH have decided right now is not a good time. My daughter has Childhood Nephrotic Syndrome. We don't have her completely straightened out yet so thats one of the factors why it's not a good time. It was/is hard with my 2 kids. It's almost like they are twins at times.(<--I'm only guessing) My 2 are 21 months apart. It was very tough at first, both in diapers, both needing alot of attention. Things are improving these days with my son getting older & knowing a little better how to behave. I'm a SAHM & thats what I do, stay at home. I try taking my 2 out but it is so hard, so we stay home & mostly go out when I'm with my DH. I like it now that they are so close in age, they play so well together but I admit, in the begining it wasn't too easy. If I have a 3rd I don't want a big age difference between it & my 2 yr. old. I would like my daughter to be no older than 3. My DH is 35 now & will turn 36 in a few short months, so thinking of him I wouldn't want to wait a very long time. Me, I have plenty, , I'll be 25 soon.
Good luck with your decison. I'd say try now & when it happends it happends.

 

[boxer5.0]

Sorry I dont have time to read through all these posts, (im at work, shh). The way I see it you never be ready for another kid no matter how much you prepare and neither will your kids. You will only be ready when that new baby comes and you will all adapt and things will be fine. People have a way to adapt to anything no matter what God or whoever you believe in gives you. I never thought I would be ready but my wife and I are haveing our first in about 3 weeks. I know I will never feel like I have saved enough money, or read enough books. or done enough to make it perfect but guess what, when she is here things Will be perfect and the same for your family. When ever you and DH decide its time, that is the right time. Hope this helps.

 

[momstaxi]

I have 3 daughters 2 and a half yrs & 3 and a half yrs apart. My kids are older now 17,15, & 11. I love having 3, and the fact they are all the same sex really doesn't matter.Just be sure to give them some one on one time and it should be fine. it was easier when they were younger believe it or not. Now they are all very involved in sports and activities which makes for some crazy days! It's hard when they have activities at the same time, it can become quite the juggling act!
If you want a 3rd I say go for it, but be prepared for some crazy times!

 

[lafsalot]

Two of my son-in-law's cousins have ADHD, and my daughter found herself in a similar situation after her first (now 7) was diagnosed with it. It appears that your pediatrician is right, because she subsequently had two more (another boy and a girl) without. I personally have no regrets about the three I have, so I say go for it ~ Cathy

 

[K8IE]

First, I have to say I looked at your gallery just now to see if you had pics of your boys... They are so cute!! (And your pups are too, of course!) We are going through a fairly similar situation. Just the deciding to have another one part... Our son is almost 6 and will be starting school in Aug. I still have plenty of time to be having kids, but now that there is such a distance I am wondering if we should just stick with one. It is a hard call to make. I hope that you can decide what will be best for your family, I really don't have any advice as I am still confused about what to do personally! I can tell you love your kids and want what is best for your family, so I am sure that if you had another baby it would only add more joy for you! Best of luck with whatever you decide!

 

[Shanz]

Well if its the age range your worried about, Ill tell you about my family. I just turned 19 this year, My mom will be 56 this Halloween She married ehr first husband when she was 18. She had my oldest sister when she was 16, which means my sister will be turning 40 this December. 2 years later she had my brother, which means he'll be 38 this Fathers Day. She divorced her husband when she was 19 ( I think I have those marriage divorce dates right, they werent married more than 3 yrs I know that). She met my dad and dated him for a long time before they were married, My sister was born in 1971, so shell be 34 this December. I was born in 1986 when my Mom was 37 and my sister was 15. So theres a big age gap between us. I grew up pretty much an only child.

 

[LuvDaBabies]

Thanks all for the advice and knowledge (and compliments on the kids ). I took another test this morning (still probably too early to tell) and it was negative and I don't know if it's the rainy weather or the negative test, but I'm just so sad. :( I guess I have my answer though

 

[Austin's Mom]

Go for it! Sounds like you and dh both want it, so why not? My kids are almost 3 years apart, and I think it was perfect timing! Now that they are both in school all day I miss having a little one around. :(