Think I should sue my boss? (long)

[Chewy's Mom]

I can't believe how bad my work place has gotten. I'm looking into filing a claim of sexual discrimination against the CEO of the company I work for.

I've been there over 2 years, and the first year and a half was great, but 6 months ago my boss started flipping out. And now this week he has become absolutely hostile toward me. He asked my team of 3 to move our cubicles, and I *very* nicely offered a couple of other suggestions, and my male co-worker did the same thing. He was told "great suggestions", and I was actually called "argumentative and a time waster" in an e-mail that he sent out to the entire support staff except for me (10 people). Our cubicles are now right in front of his office, and he shuffles around talking to absolutely everyone but me. He sends out lots of e-mails requesting help with new projects, and they go to the entire support staff except for me. He told another male co-worker (my brother who later told me) that the female employees are too argumentative, too opinionated, and always have to get their way no matter what. And he told the other male co-worker that he's thinking of letting me go.

I'm so upset about this. I am good at my job, and have done nothing wrong - other than have an opinion! It's certainly not the first time I've had an opinion, though - that's for sure! I can barely stand to be there, so I'm working about 3 hours a day. I've already started calling around to find a lawyer. Am I just being overly-sensitive? Has anyone ever gone through something like this?

Monique

 

[Jennifer -Pharaoh's Mom]

Monique,

Is there someone ABOVE this man? I know you said he's the CEO, but what about the owner of the company or an equally strong employee? You could take your issues up to this person. Perhaps Human Resources?

How do other females in your company feel about this man? Have they been sexually discriminated against?

If it were me I'd go in his office, tell him he'll be lucky if he doesn't get a sexual harrasment suit slapped against him, give him a piece of my mind, get my stuff, and LEAVE. 3 hours a day is not worth it, hun! There's too many employers looling for good employees to be putting up with this kind of bull.

You could always write the BBB (Better Business Bureau) as well. I'm not saying not to get a lawyer, but it could wind up a lengthy, financially draining battle. Just think on it first. We oftentime act on our emotions before thinking everything through clearly.

Good luck! Keep up posted.

Hey, you could always get Chewy to pee on his leg!!! :D

 

[vaboxer]

What a difficult situation. Here where I work...it's a touchy subject...and I have seen woman discriminated against moreso after complaining about the discimination. And I have seen the bosses use the complaint as an excuse for not getting raises and promotions.
I would make certain you are tracking EVERYTHING he sends out. Get those other 10 co workers to forward the emails that he sends to them, to you. That way you have all the emails as proof that he is not working with you, even attempting to. Make sure to get the email in which he said you were "argumentative and a time waster."
Also...before writing a letter...perhaps put together a document explaining the positive attributes of the suggestions that you offered and he turned down. That will make it look like you know what you are talking about...instead of wasting time...you know...
That's it...once you have all the evidence that he is wronging you in the workplace, then write to someone above him (is there anyone?!?!) and include all the documents. Along with that, put on the letter that you CCd the Better Business Burea. You dont have to send them a letter...but make your boss think that you did.
I hope it all works out and I am so sad you are in this position!

 

[TatianaB]

Monique, I can relate to the situation you're in, as it happened to me a few years ago. I took a different approach rather than filing a claim of sexual discrimination, and it worked well for me. My opinion was that even if I file for discrimination, it will not really help me as the work environment will always be the same, unless the Board replaces the CEO. My Company had benefits, and under the benefits I had long term disability. I went to my physician and claimed anxiety due to the stressful work environment, and that qualifies for long term disability claim. I staid home on LTD and looked for another job, and as soon as I found it, I quite and moved on. For me it was the best move I could have done. Your situation sounds similar, and if you tell your physician what you just told us, you will be OK. Some battles are worth fighting, and some are not - just think very well in what do you have to gain based on your action.
Tatiana

 

[ssleighter]

I am sorry that you're having to go through this. Let me first just say that a sexual discrimination case can be costly, time consuming (years), and extremely hard to win. Don't get me wrong I'm on your side here, but I just want you to know what you're up against. With that said, I have been to seminars on the subject and I cannot stress enough to you how important it is that you document everything and provide witnesses/or signed statements. Will your brother testify to the things that he told you? Did this man say that to more than one person? Hearsay is very hard to prove. I don't want to sound so negative, but you need to be prepared for what's ahead should you decide to sue. Any attorney you chose should be able to tell you whether or not you have a solid foundation for a case, I would get two opinions just to be sure.

I work for a large law firm, and the seminars I have attended were given by my company to explain to employers how NOT to be sued for discrimination/harassment so I see this problem from the oppositions side, and I know what they will do to disprove your case. Just be prepared!

 

[myrocky]

That really stinks Monique :( I know how if feels to work someplace where you mean nothing and anything you say just goes in one ear and out the other. It is taxing mentally and physically to work someplace like that for sure.

Quick question? Has your boss recently been through a nasty divorce or breakup? Did his wife/partner cheat on him? It sounds, IM very unprofessional Opinion LOL, that he recently (last 6mos) got burned by a female and now he is taking it out on the female staff. Is he this way towards other females or just you? Have you talked to anyone else because maybe you all can ban together. Does he know that guy was your brother he talked to because if so that is very unprofessional indeed

 

[Chewy's Mom]

First of all, there is nobody above this man. He is the 51% owner, President, CEO, and the board. I did take this up with Human Resources, and it just so happens that HR consists of 2 females who he also treats like crap. There have also been 2 female employees who have recently quit because of the way they were treated. And mind you, he does not treat ALL females this way - just the females who speak up on occassion and have opinions.

I have copies of all of the e-mails, including the e-mail exchange which shows my "argument" and my male co-worker's as well, with the boss's response to each. The arguments are nearly identical. And my brother gave me a copy of the e-mail in which I was singled out. I'm going to put copies of all of these in my HR file.

As for the expense of suing him, there are many lawyers who will take a case like this on a contingency basis - so they get nothing unless we win.

And frankly, I hope that he *does* treat me worse or fire me once I file a complaint. Such retaliation is very illegal and carries heavy punitive damages. Not to mention if he fires me, I will ask for severance pay. He gave severance to a male co-worker who was fired by my brother for surfing porn. Boss helped the guy cover up the real reason, gave him 2 months severance pay so the guy wouldn't tell on him for all of the illegal things he does, and was very mad that my brother fired him. Now, he legally has to pay me severance if I'm fired, and I know that he won't do it, which would again strengthen my case. So I don't mind one bit if I'm fired. And I know it would take an eternity to go through a suit like this, but I am so sick and tired of the way he treats women. It is absolutely WRONG, and he will not stop until he feels it heavily in his wallet, or at least until he is scared to death that he's going to have to pay out big time. I don't need or want a bunch of money for myself, but I want him to have to *pay out* a bunch of money because there needs to be consequences for his actions.

Yes, my boss knows that my brother is my brother. Boss is actually not very smart at all, nor is he careful in the things he says. Honestly, if you put the guy up on the stand, any lawyer could easily get him to spew out his true feelings for women in under 2 minutes. He's just an idiot.

 

[ssleighter]

Well in that case, it sounds like you've done your homework and that this guy deserves everything that you and the courst can throw at him! I wish you luck!!

I consider myself lucky to have a boss that I get along with very well, though I must admit that isn't always the case with other women in my department. I do point it out to him when I see him being a chauvinist (do they still use that word) though!

 

[Linda/NJ]

Sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time at work. Your boss is a jerk (that is putting it nicely). You can't even voice your opinion and it is argumentive? Unbelievable! I agree it sounds like he may have had woman troubles but no reason to take it out on his employees. Glad you are documenting everything and hope it all works out for you! I have been fortunate to work with great guys in the past but not so lucky with a former female coworker. Good luck Monique, get that jerk.

Linda
Ginger * June 4, 1997 / Flashy Fawn * Natural Ears

 

[Donna741]

Heck yeah I would file a complaint!! You have done a great job of keeping records and you have plenty of proof of what he's doing and has done. I would definitly start calling some attorneys, I'm sure you'll find one who will take the case, especially since this guy is 51% owner, that means he's got deep pockets. Not to mention that the company is responsible for claims of harassment and discrimination that go ignored (and you've told HR), so not only is the jerk a defendant in the case the whole company will be too