sad....but..reality has set in(long)

[tasillo]

Today i think my heart was broken!!
I went to pick up my 5 year old from SK and the teacher thought it would be great to have my three and a half year old join the kids in the yard and play...as she will be going there this sept.
As some of you know she wears a cochlear implnat that enables her to hear
anyways ...she is playing along...the teacher tells the kids to line up...ofcourse she does not hear...as its far away...i tell the teacher you must gesture her....
I do
then My little one line ups with her brother...so cute
then the boys notice the device on her ear...they begin to touch it...the magnet part falls off....my litlle one tries to put it back on...looks scared and lost...and starts tearing up.....i open the gate to get to her...i hear my son son...".leave her she was born like that"...i am about to ball like a baby
i say...leave her she is not show and tell
i realize its not the time to educate as the other kids are going off to the bus
i cried all the way home hearing my little one say...they touch my implant
i told her you must tell them next time DONT TOUCH
my heart is still in pieces...as she does not yet know she is different and today was the first time that the reality has sank in
thanks for listenning

 

[kippster]

kids can be so cruel because their parents dont teach them that everyone no matter what is different, she is not different she is special and she needs to be told that and its so hard to be the parent when others make fun or tease our children all of them maybe next time instead of being heartbroken and letting her see you like that just let her explain it to them cause if you act like its no big deal maybe she will be strong and act the same just a suggestion. My sister was born with not much hearing and she was to embarrased to wear a hearing aid back then they were big and ugly, but now they are great way more stylish, she is now thirty and has had one for four years and when people say things to her she just smile. My point is that for years she could not hear because of the thought of being looked at different what a shame. So build her up so she can hear and be strong and not let the others tease her. It is a heart break when anyone hurts our children but sometimes our reaction make them feel worse.

 

[Mama_Zookeeper]

I am so sad over your post. Kids can be unbearably cruel. Last year my 12 year old had two surgeries (one to remove his appendix the other remove an abscess left from the appendicitis). This year he started middle school and he has to change in gym and sure enough he has had to endure being called "freak" and other distasteful things because of the large raw scar the 2nd surgery left. The incision was very long and could not be sutured due to the amount of infection (he wore a drain for about a month while the incision healed from the inside out) so now he stresses over his scar and dreads going anywhere people might see it.

Please give your little girl a hug from me and know she is in my thoughts.

Dora

 

[craZ4HERKIE]

OMG! My heart broke for you and your baby as I read your post! Kids can be soooo mean, especially if their parents don't teach them any different! For that matter, so can adults! Unfortunately, I don't know a diplomatic way of you educating them, or possibly having their teacher educate them. Just give your baby lots of love and encouragement, and let her know that she IS different than those other kids....let her know that SHE'S BEAUTIFUL,SPECIAL, and SMART...unlike so many other children! <<<<HUGS>>>> to all of you!

 

[Indy B's Mom]

I am so sorry that your little one had to experience that today. As a mother of a 3 year old, also, I know that awful feeling you get when your baby is sad or upset. We try to teach her that everyone is created different, that's what makes each of us special.Perhaps when she starts school, you can assist the teacher with a "differences day". Talk about hair, skin and eye colors, glasses or not, etc. and stress how great each is. Then showing her hearing aid will be part of the fun day-just one of the differences in life that makes each of us unique. Best wishes!!

 

[Brookesmami]

I have to disagree with all of you who said that children are cruel. Children at that age are not yet able to be cruel just because others are different. As tasillo said the little girl doesn't know she is "different" and I don't believe the other children were being cruel they were just being small chilren, curious. Just like when they ask another classmate why their skin is chocolate or white or why they talk differently. For children this age it is the same. Sit down with your child and explain to her that being different isn't a bad thing. Every one is different or the world would be a very boring place. Some people have yellow hair, some have brown, some have small noses and some are crooked. If you explain it to her that way, she won't be ashamed of her implant. She will also be better able to handle when a child asks her why her ears are different. Because God (or whomever you believe in) made her special so she could be different from everyone else.
It may help when she begins school to actually go with her the first day and when the children introduce themselves, teach the children in simple terms what the implant it and why it is there and that they should not touch it.

Any way my point is that if you treat it as tho the kids are being cruel they may end up being just that. If you treat it as they children are being curious, you can satisfy their curiosity and teach them a valuable life lesson at the same time.

 

[Shakira's Ma]

Any way my point is that if you treat it as tho the kids are being cruel they may end up being just that. If you treat it as they children are being curious, you can satisfy their curiosity and teach them a valuable life lesson at the same time.

Totally agree. If she doesn't know she is different then the other children only see something different. That is a great time to educate the child about differences and that it doesn't mean something bad. If you let your daughter see that you are upset about this then she is going to feel that she IS different and get the feeling that that is a bad thing and maybe start feeling like a victim and that will set the pattern to her being a victim. Be positive about these situations and only positive will come out of it.

 

[Lovely Rita]

i don't think that the kids were being cruel either - i know that i would have been curious if i had been them! in fact, i remember that when i went to summer camp (i must have been about eight) there was a girl with cancer there. she got up in front of all us kids and gave a little speech about why she was different, about what had happened to her, how she felt about it, etc. she ended up being my best friend that summer, and we almost never spent a moment apart! she won all the other kids over because she could burp the alphabet (i still haven't met anyone who could do it as well as she could).

so, i guess that the moral of the story is that if one is confident and happy with oneself, other people become automatically attracted to one, no matter how different one is! i wish your daughter massive amounts of good luck and happiness!:D:D

 

[Ciscobxr]

I do not think the children were being cruel either, just curious. I do completly understand how upset you were though, I would have been the same way, it hurts to see your child's feelings hurt. And I feel so sorry for your daughter b/c she was so upset. I agree with someone else's post that you should try to be positive about the situation and teach your daughter that ~everyone~ is different. It was a learning experience and maybe you and your daughter will have learned from it and will know how to handle it better the next time something like this happens.
Good luck, keep us updated!

 

[tasillo]

Agree

I do agree with you that the kids were just curious....
My daughters understandig is at a 2 year old...i dont think she would fully understand me telling her how she is different and all the great things that come with being different.
We have always called it GODS special ear...and she knows she is special cause she is the only one that has it....She also knows there are certain things she cannot do as other hearing kids...due to static issues....
Yes when she goes to jk i plan to go the 1st day to do a show and tell....to eplain to the kids all about Mia and how she is different
Mia has always heard me talking about her ci since she was implanted...as many onlookers wouls stop and ask....and me and my husband always wanted to educate ...and figured Mia was listenning to how we replied as well
I guess i was just taken back ....to see the tears.
Thank you for your kind replies
its also nice to see that my son was protecting her....he is only 5