Joanna,
I'm so sorry to read your post on Oscar. I know all too well the pain you are feeling. I helped my little girl Cadence to the Bridge 2 weeks ago today, and I felt so lost and alone that I couldn't even breathe. I had been posting here on BW during our journey together through cancer and if it wasn't for the wonderful people here, I truly think that I would have been 1000 times worse. You are never alone here on BW. We are all here for you and your babies, past, present, and future. Helping our babies to the Bridge is never easy. Please know that it is the ultimate gift of love and is one of the most selfless things we can do as parents. The decision is difficult, one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make. But know that Oscar is running free, without pain, with all of our babies. They will take good care of each other. I, too, felt like the pain would never end and that I would be a sad, bitter woman for the rest of my life. I couldn't stand how quiet my house was, with no pitter-patter of Cadence's feet. Skye, my 7 year old Boxer, was very lonely, too. She looked so sad that it broke my heart all over again. I just got a new litttle baby boy on Sunday and he is my saving grace. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about looking at new puppies after losing my 1st precious baby, as Cadence was my first Boxer. (Skye was rescued by my fiance and Cadence and I moved in their house together). I was surprised how happy the puppies made me and when I saw my little guy, I knew I could love another baby. He is home with me and is just the sweetest little thing. I hope that one day, you too will be able to open your heart to another Boxer baby. Take your time and let your heart heal. Cry as much as you like and treasure all of your memories. Each day, the pain will get a little better. I never thought it would, but it did. I can look at pictures of my girl and smile. I do still sometimes cry, but that's okay. It's okay to miss them--they're our babies, no matter where they are. But in your heart you will know that Oscar is safe and happy and playing with all of our babies. They are all watching and waiting for us. He is okay.
Remember, you are not alone. You have all of us and you have Oscar watching over you, along with all of our babies.
Run free, Oscar. You are loved.
Nicole, Skye, and Colby
with lots of angel love from Cadence 9/25/03-5/24/05