Trucker wouldn’t eat dinner last night and wouldn’t even eat cheese & scrambled eggs this morning. The only thing I can get him to eat is chunks of natural balance beef rolls but even that he is very reluctant and not eating enough to make a meal. I took him to the vet this morning to see what she thought. It’s breaking my heart that he won’t eat. I feel like I took away his last joy. His leg & foot is totally full of fluid too. Anyway the vet doesn’t think he is suffering so much as just probably more uncomfortable. She gave him an anti nausea injection and an injection of pepcid. We also got an Rx of an appetite stimulant. If we can get him to start eating then I will keep him on the Palladia but if he won’t eat then I will have to take him off of it.
It’s so hard to know what to do. She said since the tumor is so big that if we can get him to eat then maybe we should be aggressive with the treatment & try giving the palladia every day for a week to try to get the tumor to reduce faster. But If only two doses has caused him to stop eating I can’t really imagine giving it to him daily. Unless this appetite stimulant is some sort of miracle maker.
Honestly I don’t know what I’m doing at this point. My gut tells me this is all futile. This tumor is so huge and is growing so fast logic just tells me there is just now way any pill is going to make a difference but it’s so hard to look at him and just give up and let him go. I know everyone tells me that I will know when its “time” but since it’s technically just his leg I feel like the lines are blurred on what to do. I always thought when I needed to make the decision to put him to sleep he’d be very sick, or having trouble breathing, or seizures, or something that is clear cut. With Trucker he just has this enormous tumor that is affecting his mobility but his eyes are still bright, he still wants to be near us, he tried to play with his favorite squeaky this morning, & stuck his head out the window in the car. But then you look at him from behind and you see the swelling, the fluid build up and this hard melon size tumor and it just looks so bad.
If anyone has words of wisdom I'd love to read them...