I believe I understand your pain. It has been less than a month since our precious boy Samson left our lives.
There are times when his memory hits me very hard. These are the unexpected times. They do hit with a double punch.
Just a week ago I was putting tomatoes in the kitchen window to ripen and suddently I felt as if something had taken my breath away. I cried, I wailed, and I thought I would never gain my composure again. That was Samson's spot to watch me each day walk to the mailbox. The tomatoes were also his favorite. He would jump the baby gate at the kitchen door and I would let him do it, just to watch me as I was walking outside. It hurts, it hurts very badly.
God bless you in your pain. I wish there was an easy way to make it all go away but I know that there is nothing that will ease the pain except time. I had more than one boxer, but that does not matter, I know the missing link will not heal for some time to come. Keep coming to Boxerworld. Keep talking, and you will find strength.