Orson Has Died
- Thread starter jeffisonline
- Start date
- Status
debbie knowles
Boxer Insane
I am so sorry Jeff. I hope you will one day find some comfort in knowing that you did everything you could possibly do to save Orson and in the end, you showed him the greatest act of love and compassion anyone can show their friend. You chose to suffer so he would no longer have to and I personally know just how difficult that is, but it is also the the ultimate act of love. May God bless you and help you through the difficult days ahead.
Godspeed Sweet Orson...you know just how much you were loved here on earth and how much you will be missed. You fought so hard to stay here and now as you start your new pain free life where there is no cancer or heart troubles or seizures, take a moment from time to time to help watch over your Dad and all of us left behind. djk
Godspeed Sweet Orson...you know just how much you were loved here on earth and how much you will be missed. You fought so hard to stay here and now as you start your new pain free life where there is no cancer or heart troubles or seizures, take a moment from time to time to help watch over your Dad and all of us left behind. djk
jeffisonline
Boxer Buddy
Thank you...
I can't believe how fast everyone has written about this, and I'm glad to see so many people caring about me and my dog.
I'm really not OK right now because I feel so terribly lost at the moment.
I can't begin to express my feeling because they are so painful and large.
I was talking to my mom about everything, and the vets, and everyone assured me that I did everything I could have possibly done for Orson...I guess maybe that is true, but I feel like it's never enough to give everything you have, sometimes you have to give more. and Maybe I did.
I know that I would have done anything in the world for him, I would have given everything away, I would have traded all my material possesions to keep him.
I realise now that life isn't about Money, or your job, or how attractive you are, or any of that crap, it's all about love, and humility, and respect.
I have a good job, I'm an attractive person, and I have lots of material things, but none of them, or all of them together are more important than Orson was, and always will be to me.
He was my light in a dark world, he was always there for me to make me feel loved, and he always gave me direction (Mostly to PetsMart for treats and Toys) He wasn't just some Dog, but he became my child, my whole life...He wasn't ever greedy, or angry, he never dug out the trash, or went potty in the house, he never wanted anything more than love and attention, and he didn't ever want me to feel bad.
Whenever I was sad or depressed he always came to comfort me, he knew when something was wrong, and he knew he could make me feel better...HE always made me feel better, and I just wanted to make him feel better too...and I tried, but I never could.
Everyone always talked about his eyes, and his face...He expressed so much with his face, his face told you everything...He could look surprised, and sad, he could look happy or mad, he could look right inside of you, and he knew how to tell you what he wanted with his expressions.
That face was the most beautiful face I have ever seen.
I dunno what happens now, I looked at Orson today, and he seemed like he was crying...He had a lot of tears in his eyes, and all at once they streamed down his face...I cried than too.
I would still do anything in the world for him.
I know that I'm not afraid of my own death anymore, when that day comes I know I have a great little person waiting for me, and maybe than we can eat cheeseburgers, and forget about all of the bad things.
Now that it is all over, and Orson is gone, after the countless trips to the vets, the hundreds of phone calls, the thousands of dollars, the hours and days of worry, the books, and people I have spoken with I feel somewhat cheated...I feel somewhat blessed, and I feel somewhat angry.
I feel blessed because God gave a present to me, and I got to keep it for nearly 10 years.
I feel cheated because I didn't win the battle, and I put up a fight that no one could have ever stopped.
And I am angry at the University for wasting time that Orson couldn't afford to lose.
But when all is said and done, I know that I found the most pure form of love in the world, and I was the luckiest person ever, because I found him, and because he loved me so much.
I want to say to Orson if he can here this stuff that Daddy Loves you very much, and I will always keep you in my heart until the day that I die, and we can be together again...I'm sorry I had to let you go, but you know that if I could be with you I would, and I will look for you in everything I do forever.
Thank you all so much, and just as soon as I can I will post pictures of Orson so you can see how pretty he is.
Jeff *I love you Orson*
I can't believe how fast everyone has written about this, and I'm glad to see so many people caring about me and my dog.
I'm really not OK right now because I feel so terribly lost at the moment.
I can't begin to express my feeling because they are so painful and large.
I was talking to my mom about everything, and the vets, and everyone assured me that I did everything I could have possibly done for Orson...I guess maybe that is true, but I feel like it's never enough to give everything you have, sometimes you have to give more. and Maybe I did.
I know that I would have done anything in the world for him, I would have given everything away, I would have traded all my material possesions to keep him.
I realise now that life isn't about Money, or your job, or how attractive you are, or any of that crap, it's all about love, and humility, and respect.
I have a good job, I'm an attractive person, and I have lots of material things, but none of them, or all of them together are more important than Orson was, and always will be to me.
He was my light in a dark world, he was always there for me to make me feel loved, and he always gave me direction (Mostly to PetsMart for treats and Toys) He wasn't just some Dog, but he became my child, my whole life...He wasn't ever greedy, or angry, he never dug out the trash, or went potty in the house, he never wanted anything more than love and attention, and he didn't ever want me to feel bad.
Whenever I was sad or depressed he always came to comfort me, he knew when something was wrong, and he knew he could make me feel better...HE always made me feel better, and I just wanted to make him feel better too...and I tried, but I never could.
Everyone always talked about his eyes, and his face...He expressed so much with his face, his face told you everything...He could look surprised, and sad, he could look happy or mad, he could look right inside of you, and he knew how to tell you what he wanted with his expressions.
That face was the most beautiful face I have ever seen.
I dunno what happens now, I looked at Orson today, and he seemed like he was crying...He had a lot of tears in his eyes, and all at once they streamed down his face...I cried than too.
I would still do anything in the world for him.
I know that I'm not afraid of my own death anymore, when that day comes I know I have a great little person waiting for me, and maybe than we can eat cheeseburgers, and forget about all of the bad things.
Now that it is all over, and Orson is gone, after the countless trips to the vets, the hundreds of phone calls, the thousands of dollars, the hours and days of worry, the books, and people I have spoken with I feel somewhat cheated...I feel somewhat blessed, and I feel somewhat angry.
I feel blessed because God gave a present to me, and I got to keep it for nearly 10 years.
I feel cheated because I didn't win the battle, and I put up a fight that no one could have ever stopped.
And I am angry at the University for wasting time that Orson couldn't afford to lose.
But when all is said and done, I know that I found the most pure form of love in the world, and I was the luckiest person ever, because I found him, and because he loved me so much.
I want to say to Orson if he can here this stuff that Daddy Loves you very much, and I will always keep you in my heart until the day that I die, and we can be together again...I'm sorry I had to let you go, but you know that if I could be with you I would, and I will look for you in everything I do forever.
Thank you all so much, and just as soon as I can I will post pictures of Orson so you can see how pretty he is.
Jeff *I love you Orson*
Rayne's Mom
Completely Boxer Crazy
I am very sorry to hear of the passing of Orson..My thoughts are with you..It is never a easy thing to do, I have been in the same postion just a short time ago.. but please find comfort in knowing that your Orson is no longer in pain, and running with all of our Babies who have crossed the bridge....Godspeed Orson
Mandy & The Gang
Delstar
1/31/90-11/18/03
Mandy & The Gang
Delstar 1/31/90-11/18/03
Cindy Creel
Boxer Insane
I am crying so much as I type, that this may not be readable. You were an awesome Daddy. You did everything and more that you could have done. I have two boxers waiting at the bridge for me too. I try to think of all the most beautiful boxer babies waiting for us. I know how the pain feels right now. Like someone kicked you in the stomach and you can't breath. Only someone that has experienced that kind of love and lose can understand. We are here for you, because so many of us have been where you are. Try to think of the good times. That will carry you through. I will pray for you. There is an old saying that goes like this: " It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." Without Orson you would have never found that emotion we call love. Because when you love something so unselfishly, it changes your life. I am so sad for you, that my heart hurts for you.
God Bless You,
Cindy
God Bless You,
Cindy
jeffisonline
Boxer Buddy
you're right...
Cindy,
you're right about being changed forever by loving unselfishly, the worst part of loving something so much is that in times like this the loss is so great it's unmeasurable.
I'm really at a loss right now, I wasn't counting on losing, so I am confused.
I was gonna fight this right accross the universe, and if I had the chance I still would.
Orson did something for me tonight that was amazing, he left when I knew I couldn't let him go...
We arrived at the hospital, and they took us right in, Orson was having trouble breathing, and they needed to take him in the back, but in a IV, and than they told us they would bring him right back to me.
I had to go into another room to sign papers, which was very very difficult, and at this point I wasn't psychologially there.
When I signed we went back to the room, and Orson was there looking for me, and wagging his little stubb, and I instantly took him out of the room, and we were going home.
I panicked, and had an anxiety attack, and didn't know what to do...I could take him out of there, and go home and hope he had a good night, or I could just put him to sleep which wasn't really working out for me.
I took him to the waiting room, and he was sniffing the dog food bags, and had no trouble breathing, and I though maybe he would be OK, so I told the front desk that I was going to take him to Burger King for a happy Meal, and would come back a little later...I brought the car to the front door, and my mom was there, and Orson went to jum into the back seat, and passed out...He basically made the decision, and so I went back inside acting all hysterical, and the vets came out, took Orson into the room, and Injected him, and he was gone.
If Orson wouldn't have passed out, I would have brought him home again, so he basically decided it was time to go, and although I knew it was time, when it came to the moment, I found it overwhelming, and impossible to go through with.
I hope to God I never have to face that type of situation again, it was the hardest thing, and it hurts so bad, and I felt like I was going to explode in that hospital...I lost it, and everyone there tried to make me understand that it was the right thing to do, and I just wasn't getting it.
I had a breakdown, and about 20 people saw it, and I really don't care so much about what the people thought, but I wish I could have been more sane at the moment...I was honestly insane for 15 minutes.
I'm having small periods of being OK, and than I breakdown again, I think writing about it helps alot, and also getting so many kind posts, and words.
Honestly, if I didn't have this board, and the support from all of the wonderful people here I know I would have gone totally insane by now.
I'm reading every post about every dog, and I see a group of people who totally understand, and care and love their dogs as much as I love Orson.
It's makes a big difference.
Thanks again for reading, I know I am writing a lot, but it makes me feel better.
Jeff
Cindy,
you're right about being changed forever by loving unselfishly, the worst part of loving something so much is that in times like this the loss is so great it's unmeasurable.
I'm really at a loss right now, I wasn't counting on losing, so I am confused.
I was gonna fight this right accross the universe, and if I had the chance I still would.
Orson did something for me tonight that was amazing, he left when I knew I couldn't let him go...
We arrived at the hospital, and they took us right in, Orson was having trouble breathing, and they needed to take him in the back, but in a IV, and than they told us they would bring him right back to me.
I had to go into another room to sign papers, which was very very difficult, and at this point I wasn't psychologially there.
When I signed we went back to the room, and Orson was there looking for me, and wagging his little stubb, and I instantly took him out of the room, and we were going home.
I panicked, and had an anxiety attack, and didn't know what to do...I could take him out of there, and go home and hope he had a good night, or I could just put him to sleep which wasn't really working out for me.
I took him to the waiting room, and he was sniffing the dog food bags, and had no trouble breathing, and I though maybe he would be OK, so I told the front desk that I was going to take him to Burger King for a happy Meal, and would come back a little later...I brought the car to the front door, and my mom was there, and Orson went to jum into the back seat, and passed out...He basically made the decision, and so I went back inside acting all hysterical, and the vets came out, took Orson into the room, and Injected him, and he was gone.
If Orson wouldn't have passed out, I would have brought him home again, so he basically decided it was time to go, and although I knew it was time, when it came to the moment, I found it overwhelming, and impossible to go through with.
I hope to God I never have to face that type of situation again, it was the hardest thing, and it hurts so bad, and I felt like I was going to explode in that hospital...I lost it, and everyone there tried to make me understand that it was the right thing to do, and I just wasn't getting it.
I had a breakdown, and about 20 people saw it, and I really don't care so much about what the people thought, but I wish I could have been more sane at the moment...I was honestly insane for 15 minutes.
I'm having small periods of being OK, and than I breakdown again, I think writing about it helps alot, and also getting so many kind posts, and words.
Honestly, if I didn't have this board, and the support from all of the wonderful people here I know I would have gone totally insane by now.
I'm reading every post about every dog, and I see a group of people who totally understand, and care and love their dogs as much as I love Orson.
It's makes a big difference.
Thanks again for reading, I know I am writing a lot, but it makes me feel better.
Jeff
- Status