Not Sure How To Do This?
- Thread starter xenaprincess
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abradbury.5
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The other replies sound right on.... Document everything, get caller ID so there is a record of how often he calls. I would strongly consider chaning your number, but only after you have a caller ID record of how many times he called before you did change it.
And Kristen (I think it was her) is right that you probably cannot be friends with John right now. Nor do you need to be. You need to communicate about your daughter if he is reacting in an emotionally mature and stable way. If he's not, there's no reason to try to talk to him because nothing will get accomplished.
Stay strong!! But do not sink to his level. If he calls and you decide to answer the phone, do so but always act civilized--for one thing, lowering yourself to his level won't make you feel any better and for another, there's no reason to give him any ammunition however unwarranted it is. If he becomes abusive, calmly tell him you're not going to speak with him if he acts like that and hang up. It sounds a lot easier than it is, but in the end you'll come out feeling much better.
Good luck!
And Kristen (I think it was her) is right that you probably cannot be friends with John right now. Nor do you need to be. You need to communicate about your daughter if he is reacting in an emotionally mature and stable way. If he's not, there's no reason to try to talk to him because nothing will get accomplished.
Stay strong!! But do not sink to his level. If he calls and you decide to answer the phone, do so but always act civilized--for one thing, lowering yourself to his level won't make you feel any better and for another, there's no reason to give him any ammunition however unwarranted it is. If he becomes abusive, calmly tell him you're not going to speak with him if he acts like that and hang up. It sounds a lot easier than it is, but in the end you'll come out feeling much better.
Good luck!
xenaprincess
Boxer Insane
I do have caller ID and I just went through my phone calls, and listed in a journal all the times he has called...one night was 16 times in 1 1/2 hrs and the following night was 21 times through the course of the day. There have been many times that I will not answer as he called collect a few times. I cannot afford fighting long distance on my bill!! He has been told that he can call at 7pm to ONLY talk to Jessica. I no longer take the phone when they are done talking...she hangs up!
Basak...how right you are!! He thinks I'm such a b@tch...so now I am living up to it! I am finding now that the more he annoys and harrasses me, the more I do what I have to do to protect myself and the kids! He is actually driving me to get tough instead of wasting time feeling sorry for him, so he's really doing me a huge favor...he just doesn't know it! :D He is showing classic abusive behaviour! First the name calling and accusations...then he's all apologetic and says he just loves me soooo much and didn't mean to say all those nasty things! He actually tries to say it's my fault that he speaks to me like that because I make him mad!!! :rolleyes:
I feel good that I have accomplished alot in the past few days. I have a lawyer now...custody papers are being filed...cable is now in my own name...looks like I will be moving very soon into the New Year...meeting set up to make arrangements for my 13yr old to change schools...I have MUCH more time to care for my kids the way I should without John's stress!
As for my health..I am scared about this heart stuff! I am very careful about what I eat, especially because of the GERD problem I have. I feel as though no matter how careful I am, it's beyond my control because it's genetic! BUT..at least now I can focus on my issues with a level head!
Here's to a MERRY & PEACEFUL CHRISTMAS!!
Basak...how right you are!! He thinks I'm such a b@tch...so now I am living up to it! I am finding now that the more he annoys and harrasses me, the more I do what I have to do to protect myself and the kids! He is actually driving me to get tough instead of wasting time feeling sorry for him, so he's really doing me a huge favor...he just doesn't know it! :D He is showing classic abusive behaviour! First the name calling and accusations...then he's all apologetic and says he just loves me soooo much and didn't mean to say all those nasty things! He actually tries to say it's my fault that he speaks to me like that because I make him mad!!! :rolleyes:
I feel good that I have accomplished alot in the past few days. I have a lawyer now...custody papers are being filed...cable is now in my own name...looks like I will be moving very soon into the New Year...meeting set up to make arrangements for my 13yr old to change schools...I have MUCH more time to care for my kids the way I should without John's stress!
As for my health..I am scared about this heart stuff! I am very careful about what I eat, especially because of the GERD problem I have. I feel as though no matter how careful I am, it's beyond my control because it's genetic! BUT..at least now I can focus on my issues with a level head!
Here's to a MERRY & PEACEFUL CHRISTMAS!!
Scrapper's Mom
Boxer Insane
Divorce, splitting up, it seems to bring out the absolute worst in people. Sounds like your ex is following right in line. But we are also sending you peaceful thoughts for a blessed Christmas.
I've been going through a divorce for the past year. We have to be seperated for 18 months here before we can file for divorce with out having to pay thousands of dollars. Its hard, mine isnt as hard as yours but having to have Gary and Bryan in the same room is a handfull and very stressful. Im sorry that your divorce is going to be so hard, once papers start going through, things will be alot more easier.
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