Sadly, our journey is coming to an end. I had to make the hardest call of my life today, Baxter's final appointment. Mr. B will be laid to rest on Saturday, April 9 at 11:00 a.m. I have taken the day off on Friday so that we can enjoy one last day together.
My husband and I have spent the last few days desperately trying to figure out what the best thing for Baxter would be. We are now certain that the decision we have made is what is best for our Bax. Baxter had a tough life before we adopted him and I believe we owe him the ability to leave this world with his head held high and with dignity. If we wait much longer, he will not be able to do so.
The past few days Baxter has been depressed, his mobility is severely affected, and he has little energy. The smallest of tasks completely zap Bax of any energy. Yesterday when our petsitter came Baxter didn't even get out of his bed to greet her, she had to help him up and it took her two tries to get him onto his feet. This morning he didn't finish his breakfast and he refused it when she came this afternoon which we all know is unlike him. For the first time, I believe he is no longer happy.
My heart breaks for Baxter and for what he has had to endure. Bax is a fighter, he is a brave soul. But even fighters and brave souls have to call it quits when enough is enough. Mr. B is my man, my love, my friend. As painful as this is for me, I know that I must shoulder this pain so that he no longer has to. I pray for strength to get through the days ahead. I pray for Baxter to find peace. I find peace knowing that Baxter will regain his sight and be able to see me and Jason for the first time ever! I find peace knowing that Baxter's friend Goliath will be one of the first in line to welcome him to the bridge so that he will not feel alone or be scared in a strange place. I find peace that he will bask in the sun and be able to RUN like the wind. He will be able to play bow and box and do all those silly boxer things that had been prematurely taken away from him. I find peace knowing his body will be made whole again and he will remain healthy for eternity. I find peace knowing that he will watch over me until the day we meet again. I find peace knowing that this is not really good-bye, he will always remain a part of me in my heart.
My favorite qoute will be inscribed on his urn
"Do not cry because it's over, smile because it happened"
You all have been the best support system I could have asked for. Thank you for making this journey with us.
Aimee