Macon's Mom
Completely Boxer Crazy
I need some BW vibes and hugs :( I posted recently that my DH and I are pregnant. However we went in for our 1st ultrasound on Thursday and had bad news. I was either miscarrying or had an ectopic pregnancy. We found out today that it's not ectopic (pretty sure anyways), so I'm not in danger anymore. I cut/paste my postings from pregnancy.org. I apologize for being impersonal, but I've cried enough today, so I don't want to retype the whole story again.
(From pregnancy.org)
Thursday Update: Sorry it has taken me so long to post this. We either have a miscarriage that's resolving or we have an ectopic pregnancy. We don't know yet. I have to go back on Saturday for another hcg test to see if it's went down. If it did, then we'll probably test again in 2 days and maybe let it resolve on it's own. If it didn't or went up, they will do another u/s and probably some kind of surgery so it doesn't rupture. There was fluid outside of my uterus and a cyst (or ectopic pregnancy) on my ovary, we aren't sure.
For those that don't know, I've had dark brown spotting almost the whole pregnancy but my hcg levels had doubled last time we went in, so dr thought everything was ok. My hcg today was 1400 and my dr said that number is the "gray area" as to whether or not they think it's ectopic, so it's wait and see again. We are so devastated right now. I'm really in shock and not sure how to feel right now. I can say that Monday I had the feeling that I knew something was wrong. I'll keep you posted. Thank you all for your prayers and support. This is our first pregnancy and I just can't believe this is happening.
4/8 Update: I was supposed to get tested at 7am but the lab I went to doesn't do stat tests on Saturdays so they sent me to the main hospital lab. I should know the results at around 12:30 - 1pm hopefully. I'll keep you posted. This is such an emotional rollercoaster. I'm so lucky to have you all. One of my best friends hasn't called me back after I left her a message about what's going on and it really hurts. I understand though, as she was supposed to start her chemo pill this past week for her brain tumor that has returned. She has had a m/c though (last April). She had a daughter after her brain surgery and she will be 2 in May. Please think of them in your prayers as well. Thanks again for your support and all of your bighugs, I wish you all the best in this journey. I'll be thinking of you all. I'll KUP later today when I know more.
4/8 Update after hcg stat test: My hcg went down from 1400 to 1200, so my dr. isn't thinking it's an ectopic anymore which is good. It doesn't make feel any better but it's good. The plan is to have me update him on Tuesday with a message from me (he's out on M & T) and then probably get more bloodwork on Wed., I think. My mom left after the news so she could see my dad (he was out of town for work when all of this happened), and of course we needed our privacy. She's been here since Thursday night and I've only cried a little since she's been here. I was keeping myself busy cleaning the house, etc. to stay strong for her. So the hour after she left was horrible. My mom and I are so close but she's been through so much in her life and had enough loss that I just didn't want her to know how bad I'm really feeling. I could go on and on about all the tragic loss we've experienced in our lives. It's very hard to understand.
I finally slept for a couple of hours this afternoon. I just don't know where to go from here. I spent so much time (all my time) thinking about our baby and planning the future and getting so excited about this new life, that now I don't know what to think about or do with myself. I feel so empty and all I can think about is this loss, and I know that's not good for me. And when I start crying, I've always been someone who can't turn the faucet off. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When Jason and I went to our premarital retreat, we discussed or biggest fears and mine was not being able to have a baby. I know this m/c doesn't mean I won't be able to have a normal, healthy pregnancy later, but I wanted this one. I need to go to church tomorrow, but I'm afraid that I'll just bawl the whole time. We'll have to sit in the back
For those of you that have had a m/c, how long before all the cramping and spotting went away? I just want all of this to be over, so I don't have another little reminder every time I use the bathroom or feel a cramp.
I'm so sorry for rambling on here. You don't need to listen to this. Please know that I am ecstatic for all of you and will continue to follow this board. We do hope to get pregnant again asap, so when we do, I'll let you know I know this is in God's hands, but it's very hard to understand and comprehend right now. God Bless You all.
end of post from pregnancy.org
(From pregnancy.org)
Thursday Update: Sorry it has taken me so long to post this. We either have a miscarriage that's resolving or we have an ectopic pregnancy. We don't know yet. I have to go back on Saturday for another hcg test to see if it's went down. If it did, then we'll probably test again in 2 days and maybe let it resolve on it's own. If it didn't or went up, they will do another u/s and probably some kind of surgery so it doesn't rupture. There was fluid outside of my uterus and a cyst (or ectopic pregnancy) on my ovary, we aren't sure.
For those that don't know, I've had dark brown spotting almost the whole pregnancy but my hcg levels had doubled last time we went in, so dr thought everything was ok. My hcg today was 1400 and my dr said that number is the "gray area" as to whether or not they think it's ectopic, so it's wait and see again. We are so devastated right now. I'm really in shock and not sure how to feel right now. I can say that Monday I had the feeling that I knew something was wrong. I'll keep you posted. Thank you all for your prayers and support. This is our first pregnancy and I just can't believe this is happening.
4/8 Update: I was supposed to get tested at 7am but the lab I went to doesn't do stat tests on Saturdays so they sent me to the main hospital lab. I should know the results at around 12:30 - 1pm hopefully. I'll keep you posted. This is such an emotional rollercoaster. I'm so lucky to have you all. One of my best friends hasn't called me back after I left her a message about what's going on and it really hurts. I understand though, as she was supposed to start her chemo pill this past week for her brain tumor that has returned. She has had a m/c though (last April). She had a daughter after her brain surgery and she will be 2 in May. Please think of them in your prayers as well. Thanks again for your support and all of your bighugs, I wish you all the best in this journey. I'll be thinking of you all. I'll KUP later today when I know more.
4/8 Update after hcg stat test: My hcg went down from 1400 to 1200, so my dr. isn't thinking it's an ectopic anymore which is good. It doesn't make feel any better but it's good. The plan is to have me update him on Tuesday with a message from me (he's out on M & T) and then probably get more bloodwork on Wed., I think. My mom left after the news so she could see my dad (he was out of town for work when all of this happened), and of course we needed our privacy. She's been here since Thursday night and I've only cried a little since she's been here. I was keeping myself busy cleaning the house, etc. to stay strong for her. So the hour after she left was horrible. My mom and I are so close but she's been through so much in her life and had enough loss that I just didn't want her to know how bad I'm really feeling. I could go on and on about all the tragic loss we've experienced in our lives. It's very hard to understand.
I finally slept for a couple of hours this afternoon. I just don't know where to go from here. I spent so much time (all my time) thinking about our baby and planning the future and getting so excited about this new life, that now I don't know what to think about or do with myself. I feel so empty and all I can think about is this loss, and I know that's not good for me. And when I start crying, I've always been someone who can't turn the faucet off. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When Jason and I went to our premarital retreat, we discussed or biggest fears and mine was not being able to have a baby. I know this m/c doesn't mean I won't be able to have a normal, healthy pregnancy later, but I wanted this one. I need to go to church tomorrow, but I'm afraid that I'll just bawl the whole time. We'll have to sit in the back
For those of you that have had a m/c, how long before all the cramping and spotting went away? I just want all of this to be over, so I don't have another little reminder every time I use the bathroom or feel a cramp.
I'm so sorry for rambling on here. You don't need to listen to this. Please know that I am ecstatic for all of you and will continue to follow this board. We do hope to get pregnant again asap, so when we do, I'll let you know I know this is in God's hands, but it's very hard to understand and comprehend right now. God Bless You all.
end of post from pregnancy.org
