First off, thanks Stacie, for replying to my post when you are going through so much with your baby Hugo, I so appreciate you taking time out to sympathise with Millie, and wish you both the best possible outcome with your battle with this evil cancer that plagues our beloved breed, I hope and pray, that you have a good prognosis, and that you will have many more happy years together, God bless you, and we are sending all our love and good vibes.....
Well what can I say about the last 24hrs?..Millie is in a bad way, in so much pain it's heartbreaking..Last night, I can honestly say was one of the worst of my life..Believe me, I've been through this before with Poppy and her brain tumour, endless seizures, and lots of TLC, but never, ever did I witness her in so much obvious pain and distress. Millie is in agony, and exhausted, as I am. Millie and I have not slept now for almost 36hrs, poor baby, in pain and so tired...I made up a bed on the floor for both of us, made it as cozy as I could in the hope she would snuggle, and find some comfort from being next to me..She can't even manage getting into her basket, so this was the best I could think of..She won't eat, and wouldn't even drink a sip of water. She paced all night, panting and crying in pain, regardless of the fact that she'd had a painkilling jab, the bandage holding all that massive skin graft in place, is so annoying her, and the elastoplast holding it all in place around her tummy is pulling her hair out at the roots, so I know that too is hurting...
Jeez what can I do??..I feel so bad, I think in my exhausted state, I've made the wrong decision..Maybe I should have left it..I mean I took a visibly healthy happy Boxer into the vet, full of life, and I bring home, a dog that is in agony, crying real tears (I've never seen her do that before), that I feel I'm not giving the right nursing skills to..I read on the net how a skin graft needs complete rest to heal, Millie is pacing, and crying..I phoned the vet, and he said she can't have any more meds for pain till this evening, because she's had so much...I'm doing it all wrong, and fear she'll lose her leg if it dose'nt heal properly..Oh my, I prayed to Saint Francis of Assisi to help Millie, and to give me strenghth to get through this, I can't stand to see her in pain and be so helpless, please give me the strength to stay awake and help her...I prayed that she'd take at least a sip of water, she was so dehydrated, her nose was cracking...I can't tell you how hard I prayed, and I believe my prayers were answered, because she had a few sips..Please God let Millie get through this, or take her from her pain... Tomorrow we are back at the vet for a dressing change..I'm terrified at what I will see, I think I'm the worst Mum ever.
Thank you all for being an ear to listen, and a shoulder to lean on..I feel so alone and helpless..God bless all your babies, and keep them in good health.xx