I am glad you are finally able to have some closure and grieve for your boy.
People mourn in different ways.
I still have Tossie's ashes (she left us in Jan of '06) sitting in my curio cabinent with a boxer figurine and an angel on the same shelf. It took me awhile befroe I was able to pick her ashes up but I did kind of the same you did, I picked her ashes up when I took Abbie for her first vet appoinment after losing Tossie. I bought a custom urn off of ebay and a necklace that has some of her ashes in that I never take off. That way she is close to my heart and goes everywhere with me. I know it is just the physical remains but that is what I need, she will always be in my heart.