I'm sorry Big

Dieselsmom

Boxer Booster
This past Tuesday Hemi lost her battle with cancer. In January she had a mast cell tumor removed off her elbow but because it attached to a tendon they didn't get clean margins. Fast forward to July and it had grown back. After discussing with the vet we decided due to her age (almost 12) and some growths on her organs (ultrasound) we didn't want to put her under. 3 weeks ago the tumor had grown so large we were worrying about it rupturing and decided to remove it since she was acting completely healthy. On Saturday she had her sutures removed and things went downhill from there. The wound hadn't fully healed so they put a few staples in at the top of it. By the time we got home, she had ripped the full incision all the way open. A trip to the emergency vet, she had to be knocked out again to clean and restitch it. All went well, I brought her home at about 730 that night

She was pretty groggy but I figured she was processing the anesthesia slowly since she was on prednisone and her liver wasn't running at full speed. The poor girl started vomiting and did for nearly 6 hours. Back to the emergency vet for an over night stay, fluids, and an X-ray to make sure her stomach wasn't flipped. She didn't get sick after about 330am Saturday night. Knowing I was traveling for work leaving Monday for two weeks the vet kept her to make sure she was extra hydrated all day Sunday and Monday morning. I flew out of work Monday to pick her up with a clean bill of health to run her and diesel to my folks place and head to the airport. I was running so late my dad met me and picked the dogs up. Not even thinking. I have them both a pat on the head, threw their stuff in his truck and took off.

I made it to Germany and called my mom Tuesday morning. She said Hemi had started throwing up at 5am and was still going. My dad took her up to the vet that afternoon and after a quick exam and chest X-ray they realized the cancer had metasticized in her chest. She was having a very hard time breathing, low blood pressure, and that the best thing to do would be to end her suffering.

I feel horrible that I wasn't there to tell her goodbye and that I was in too much of a hurry to give her a kiss before I flew halfway across the world. I was in a hotel room sobbing as my dad and my ex helped her to the bridge. I know she's in a better place so I'm trying to find comfort in that.

My mom tells me diesel is acting fine so I don't know if he's realized what is going on or not. Except for the first 4 months of his life, he's never been without her. This week has been the longest of my life, and the 20th can't come soon enough for me to see diesel. But I can't help but feel crushed right now that I wasn't there to look into her eyes and tell her I'd see her again and that I loved her.

Please give your pups some loving for me tonight.

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I love you big. Rest in peace.
 

Gatorblu

Boxer Insane
I am so sorry. I know how hard it is not to be there, as my first boxer passed while we were on vacation. Losing a beloved Boxer is hard, but for them to go without you saying goodbye is harder. All you can do say a prayer up to them. But one thing my mom told me at the time is often our pups know they don't want us to see them suffer and choose to go while we are not around to make it easier on us. That is the belief I am holding onto. My thoughts and prayers are with you. RIP and run free Hemi! angelicon
 

Murp.mm

Boxer Insane
I am so so sorry. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I can just feel how sad and lonely you are away from home and losing your sweet Hemi has to be so very very hard. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Hemi knew how much you loved her and this wasn't your fault. You did everything you could to make her well but unfortunately cancer has a mind of its own. Try to think on all the good years you shared with Hemi and how happy you made her. Maybe this is how she wanted it. Boxers are very intuitive of our feelings. Right now she is out of pain and running free and more than likely right beside you. . Hugs to you.
 

Jan

Reasonable Moderator
Staff member
I am so sorry for your loss! Run free at the bridge Sweet Hemi! Godspeed!
angeliconangeliconangelicon
 

rena

Boxer Booster
I absolutely feel your agony about being losing your Hemi while being away. I am deeply sorry for your loss and hope that good memories and someday replace your pain. Sorry for the delay in responding, but your post opened a wound for me that has not fully healed. I made the impossible decision to help our Mick over the Rainbow Bridge while at the American Airlines ticket counter in Cleveland, with a less than understanding ticket agent - trying to get home to him. I don't remember being so distraught about being away - I would have given all my worldly possessions just to be with him. Some people just don't understand that is is not "just a dog", but a family member that you are losing. I was not able to get home the evening we lost Mick -- I sobbed at the ticket counter, on the shuttle bus to the hotel, and all night at the hotel - the ladies at front desk even called a couple of times to check on me, and then cried the whole way home. Not being there has made his passing very difficult - it just doesn't seem real - I still envision him laying on the bed pouting as I left with the suitcase. We've opened our home to a new rescue and he has been such a blessing. I still miss Mick, think I always will because we lost him way to young. I'm sorry you had to be away - it is such a challenge to juggle a world that doesn't let you bring your four-legged friends with you everywhere! I hope you (and Diesel) are coping and that you can find comfort in each other upon your return.
 

GDOGS1

Boxer Insane
So sorry for your loss, will keep you in our thoughts and prayers during this most difficult time. run forever free Hemi and Godspeed
 

Independence

Boxer Insane
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hoping that the good memories are a comfort to you. Hemi knows how much you loved him.
 
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