Jessica,
I had to read keep reading your posts over and over because I just couldn't believe it. I am so sorry for your loss. The tears are flowing like a river as I write this to you as it brings back memories of my boy Dusty. I lost my beloved boy the same way.He's probably running with Kuma right now,stretching those legs for all they are worth. Please don't be so hard on yourself.I have spent the past 4 years doing that along with wondering what I could have done different. I've always believed that things happen for a reason and someone needed our babies more. I thought the pain and guilt would eat me alive and I still shed a few tears whenever I see his pictures but now I can look back and smile at his wonderful,crazy ways. You will be able to do the same ,in time.
Kuma,watch over your mom & Herkie. They love you and miss you so much.Run with all of your new friends at the bridge & tell my Dusty & Buddy that I miss them.
We are all here for you & Herkie,sending lots of love and prayers.
Sue and the kids,Pooh,Bownser,Dozer & Cissy
My guys,Buddy & Dusty,waiting at the bridge