Im so lost......Harley is gone (kinda long)!

[luvmrhead]

Harley passed on January 5th. We found him in his dog bed in the morning. He was 1 month shy of his 7th bday. We didnt even see it coming. Even though Harley was diagnosed w/ heart disease (everyone thought we were crazy when we told them) in April 2005, he showed NO signs of slowing down..........nothing. Friday was a normal, happy day. He went everywhere running errands w/ me, went for our walk as usual, played w/ his toys, ate all his meals, etc...... Then at about 8pm I noticed his breathing was faster than usual. I didnt really think much of it. I gave him his heart med's before bed at 10pm and by 7am the next morn............he was gone. We kept Harley in the back room (family room) of our house. He had free reign of both couches and had his dog bed. He loved that room. The one thing that HAUNTS me every minute of the day........is that I abandoned him when he needed me! He was alone and probably scared, and I was upstairs asleep. HOW AWFUL. I feel like the most terrible person in the world. I cant see ever getting by this guilt. I loved that dog more than life itself! He was my 1st child, my constant companion, my pride and joy...........my life! I miss him so much I can barely eat, sleep, function. I cant stop crying. How do you get by w/ this kind of grief???? Will I ever be able to forgive myself for not knowing what was happening???? I pray he's happy now.

Jen
Harley (Feb. 2000- Jan. 2007)

 

[CinnamonDog]

Oh, Jen. Please don't blame yourself or feel guilty. Sounds like you did everything that you could for Harley and he was so lucky to have you in his life. He passed away on his favorite bed in his favorite room. It is so devestating when our babies leave us behind, but you were a great mom. My heart breaks for you. Please let us know how you are doing!

 

[TossBranAbi]

Don't beat yourself up, you didn't know what was happening. I thought the same thing you are thinking because I wasn't strong enough to be with my baby while she went to the bridge, I just couldn't do it, I walked out of the room and collapsed in the hallway at the vets. JUst remeber that he is safe now and he is all better.

As for your question about getting through it, you will with time, time is the only cure right now. Eventually you will be able to think of him and smile instead of cry. We are thinking of you.

Run Free sweet Harley

 

[morrissey11]

I am so very sorry, I know how your heart is broken. As the other post mentioned, Harley was in his bed in his favorite room, you didn't know what was happening, for sure he knows how much you love him.
How to get through this?.....time, that's the only thing I'm afraid.
When we lost Morrissey in April, I couldn't go to the vet that day, we had to carry him to the car and my daughter and I kissed him goodbye, his daddy went with him and held him at the vet's. I did feel guilty for not going for a long time.
I could hardly function when we lost him, I thought I was going crazy, now we can laugh about the funny things he used to do but I still cry for him.
Know that Harley is well again and he will always be with you. I wish I could take that awful pain away for you, we are all here for you, take care, many hugs, Kate, Morrissey's mommy.

Godspeed sweet Harley.

Morrissey, our angel.
02/15/1995 - 04/06/2006
Loved forever x

 

[Keeper's Mom]

My heart breaks for you. As others have said, he knew you were there and he was in his favorite place. I'm sure you gave him an amazing life as a Boxer Baby. Big cyber hugs.

 

[joncads]

My thoughs are with you at this hard time. Don't beat your self up about not being with him, he was happy in his and relaxed in his bed!

 

[lisasentous]

You are in our thoughts and prayers at this hard time.

Godspeed Harley.

 

[atlasmom911]

I am so sorry you lost your baby. He knows how much you love him. He is running pain free with my Abby and all of the other babies at the Rainbow Bridge. Godspeed sweet ...Hugs Linda

 

[Biff]

Please try not to beat yourself up so, Harley wouldn't want you to balme yourself. His passing was mercifully peaceful, it was simply his time to go.

I am so sorry for your loss, we all feel your pain, but rest assured, although you can't even think it at the moment, time is a great healer.

One day, you will smile at your memories of your wonderful boy.

Take care, (((hugs)))


Sleep well, Darling Harley

 

[Net45582]

Don't beat yourself up. It's a good chance that he passed in his sleep if he was in found still in his dog bed. Harley's spirit will live forever in the hearts of those he touched. He's at the bridge playing with all those who have gone before us. The void and tears you have now will soon be filled with smiles the memories that Harley created with you. It will take time to heal. Hugs from me,Chancey and Sev'n