I think I need therapy

[Shanz]

A while a go I posted something about what happened to my bf... http://www.boxerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64842
Well since then ive been really emotional...and the last few days ive been miserable, right now my eyes are blood shot from crying so much because its almost been a year since it happened.

In the last 2 yrs, a friend of mine drowned and the news being as ignorant and heartless as they are showed footage of the divers serching the water for him and when they found him...it showed them struggling to pull his body into the boat..that traumatized me. A few days later a guy who worked with me was murdered. Then in January Rob literally died right in front of me.

Ive been to numerous doctors and they all tell me that I need some time to heal and let things sink in. None of them seem to think I need any sort of mental help.
Im completely at a loss of what to do with myself, and totaly terrified that this will happen again.. because it can.. just waking up coul make it happen..and this time he may not survive it.

Ive been sitting with the guilt that because I took off running out of the room when it happened..and I know CPR what wouldve happened if no one else knew it. I keep thinking he wouldve died and it wouldve been my fault.

Ive been to doctors for 2nd and 3rd opinions...and they still say I can cope with it on my own.

Any suggestions?

 

[jazzyboxer]

Shanz,

You have been though some huge things in a very short time. Go talk to someone who can help you with post-traumatic stress. As you have already found, you will not likely get this help from your regular doctors. My husband was involved in a major trauma over a year ago and he is still processing the emotional aftermath of it. Talking to a qualified therapist (psychologist in this case) has helped him work through a lot of it, though he has a lot of days where he feels like it's not getting better as fast as it should.

I hope you find someone you can feel comfortable with and start healing. I'm so sorry for your friend and colleague, and glad your boyfriend pulled through, so at least there's something to feel positive about.

Faith

 

[Rlr.Giraffe]

That is a lot to take, and people go to counselling for far less serious issues. You might be able to cope on your own, but the good news is that you don't HAVE to... you have lots of resources available to you. Do you go to school? They will have counselling resources available to you there... Good luck sweetie.. if you need help, get it.

 

[hanley]

You have been through a lot recently,you just need someone that can help the healing process or help get things straight in your mind.Find someone you trust & can talk to.You have already at a young age learned, never take life for granted,but live for today. Pray for guidance,all things happen for a reason.Sending hugs & prayers your way! Hanley

 

[xenaprincess]

After reading all your posts and your original thread of what happened to your bf, I do believe you need therapy too! You have had to deal with so much trauma, not to mention guilt, and you are so young!! I have come to realize that doctors (medical) are NOT God...they are not always correct with a diagnosis, and they are NOT mental health doctors! You need to be demanding with them...push for a referral. You have the right to request a referral, and no matter what the doctor says, you inform them that you would like a therapists opinion! Trust me...mental problems will often lead to medical problems. I was personally going through my own mental hell and found myself in the hospital almost every weekend with GERD (Acid Reflux Disease) which is not only brought on by medical reasons such as eating the wrong foods, but OFTEN because of mental stress. It was my body's way of saying "hey...enough, I can't take anymore..I need help"!! Since, I have had the mental health direction of a very qualified therapist, I can now understand how my body handles stress (which is not very good) and the therapist I see now is my angel in disguise! You need an "angel" too!!
As I said...be demanding. Don't take the doctors word as gospel. The situation with doctors in Ontario is a growing problem! It's really tough to find a doctor you can trust. Also, if you are in a low income bracket, you may qualify for many free services available in Ontario, such as "Single Point Access" which takes all your concerns and problems and assess them and then will give you a referral! It's worth looking into.
Shanz..hang in there sweety! Help is out there. As for Robs parents...to heck with them. Rob knows what you are to him and that is all that matters! Yes, it is very discerning that they behave the way they do. If it will make you feel better, write them a letter...send an email or speak to them personally and let them know exactly how you feel about how they have made you feel. Once that is said and done, wash your hands of it and live for you and Rob!
Good luck and remember, you have all your BW friends to help you through the tough times and bring you to the good times! Keep us posted.