I hate to say it, but we're thinking of giving up

[Keeroff]

my advice is to find Sirus a new home. A home where he will get the attention he needs and he deserves. it is obvious that you dont want this dog... besides.. you said "i dont like our dog"..
ouch!!

since none of all this is his fault, he should go somewhere where he will be loved, taken care of and positively trained.

and maybe you shouldnt get a dog again, since it is such a discomfort to you.

i hope you ll make the decision. keep us posted

 

[mtoo]

I completely understand where you're coming from as I was in your situation a couple of years ago. I have three children and at the time they were all under 4. Our youngest had just come home (international adoption) and I was completely overwhelmed and exhausted! I know some people can successfully juggle many kids and dogs but I am not one of them either.

I gave up one of my dogs to a rescue group several months after our dd came home. Now, if I could go back and do it all over I would NEVER make that same decision but I'm not about to tell you that you're an awful person for considering it.

I also know as a stay at home mom that when I have a few minutes of peace, and those are rare, the last thing I want to do is spend it exercising or training a dog but it's just one of those things that has to be done.

I don't really have a lot of advice. Looking back I now see if I would have just given it more time, maybe six months, everything would have worked out and I would still have my dog whom I miss very much. So if I were you I would try to give it more time. Your infant can't be very old and it has always taken me 6-12 months to adjust to a new baby. Get back into obedience classes. You'll have fun with the dog and get a break from the chaos that often comes with little children.

Do you have a dog park nearby? We fostered a wild & crazy active dog last summer and the only time I could tire her out was to take her to the dog park. Oh, and that was a lot of fun too! I would leave the kids with my husband after supper and take off.

But, if you have already made up your mind to let him go, you're still not a terrible person imho. You haven't banned him to the backyard or dumped him at the nearest pound/shelter like far too many people do. You are trying to do your best by him. Find a good rescue group and let them help you find a family for him.

More advice, for what it's worth...if you get another dog sometime in the future when your children are a little older (and no, I'm not one who thinks you should never have another dog) get an adult. Both of the dogs I have now came to us as adults and they are sooo much easier than puppies when there are young children in the home.

Good luck and don't feel insulted by all the posts. None of us have walked in your shoes and you have to do what's best for your family and your dog.

 

[Ranvan]

A new baby and an untrained dog. Now is not the time for a dog for you. My suggestion...having been there...is to either rehome the dog or have your husband take charge of the dog's care. I do not think this is "giving up." It is recognizing that a bad choice was made.

"They need to know that they are wanted and loved, just like your child, HE is your child and you made a commitment to him to take care of him and give him a forever home."

I put the above statement in because I disagree with it. Your main priority is your child...not your dog. Your dog should never be equal to your child. Your child needs your main attention. But this does not mean your dog doesn't need love and attention. Far from it. His needs are dependent on your care. He needs alot of training. If you cannot do it at this, don't feel guilty. Find him a new home. There could easily be someone who is at a different stage of life who has more time for him. They will be happy, Sirus will be happy, and you will be happy.

Don't feel guilty because someone else can handle a multitude of dogs and children. We all have our levels of stress that we can handle. We all have different levels of energy. And frankly, when a toddler requires your attention, and you feel that you were pushed into getting a dog, then it will not be enjoyable.

My suggestion is...rehome the dog. We got Emma because her last owner needed to rehome her...we are grateful as she fits our family quite well. Some other family may be just as grateful as we are.

 

[Jpep]

I just wanted to emphasize how benefitial turning your attitude around with your dog and trying the the 2 a day walk program. Walking a dog and having a dog are stress relievers. If you have two kids get a double stroller 10 mins around the block then again after dinner with your husband and kids. It will be quality time with your family, you and your husband can talk about this and that, get some excercise, burn off some of your own stress, there are some positive side effects. I say this weigh the options... Would your life be better with a great family dog in the picture with your great kids? Is it worth the time you need to put in?

Also I wanted to apologize for anyones mean tones, but like what someone said above must people think of their dog like childen. Lastly can you post your husbands thought on all this, maybe seeing his point of view may shade a different light on the problem, and what are the exact problems? Is he peeing in house, chewing? barking? How much excercise a day is he getting. You know a perfect time to pat him would be while your watching your kids play or watch TV. Keep us posted on your decision.

 

[jfroggirl76]

Well to respond to some of the posts.... no i did not research this breed at all. My dh and i wanted a puppy and dh basically said we were getting a boxer because he has always wanted one. He knew all about this breed but didnt fill me in, which annoys me because i am the one home with him all the time. A few months after we got Sirus we found out i was expecting. Had that been planned, we certainly wouldnt have purchased a puppy at the time we did. So during a very difficult pregnancy, NO i didnt have time to work with the dog.

I never said i didnt love him, this is why it is such a dilemma. And wow for those with 20 kids and 10 puppies who can "do it all" hats off to you. Unfortunatly i'm having difficulties finding any balance.

I came here, posting looking for help and support and suggestions, not insults. Thanks

I would have to agree that you people on this forum are not compassionate of the situation.. A boxer is not everyone’s dream dog and from the sounds of it this poor woman has been through enough trying to figure out the best solution for her family and the dog.. I am a huge dog lover but sometimes it just doesn’t work out and you can not criticize a person for saying that they want what is best for all involved… So STOP putting her down for speaking up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LilygirlCO]

OK, I have to say I've seen more helpful advice given on this thread than I've seen people "putting her down." We come on this thread to get advice and we all have different opions so we have to expect good and bad advice, positive and negative. What is important is for her to take what she wants from the advice and focus on all the helpful tips and advice as well as support that have been given to her (for which I still have yet to see a thanks for). Anyways, it is obvious she does care at least try and fix the situation or else she wouldn't have started the thread in the first place.

Please don't give up, try the nilf method or hire a trainer that will come to the house and help work with him there. Boxers are great dogs and are always there when you need a someone to hug. You could try taking him to daycamp on days you're just to busy for him. If for some reason, it is just too much to bear, at least consider going the route through a rescue because then you know your baby is in good hands

 

[luckysuz30]

Training

Someone earlier mentioned looking into sending your dog to a trainer where he would stay day and night. Just wanted to let you know that it might not be in the thousands. There's a dog training place in my town (which is the best one to go to from what I hear) and they offer the training "camp". It only costs $200 a week and it includes the owner coming out for 2-3 hours (I think) a week to interact with the dog and learn the commands. A co-worker of mine sent his great dane there and it was only there 3 weeks and he said the difference between the dogs behavior afterwards was night and day. It's still a bit more expensive than attending classes, but if you don't have time at home, it's always an option.