How do you know???

[Tigress]

Again, I thank you all for your kind words and prayers.

We had a wonderful day today. We drove down a road just to see where it went and to find a trail or two to walk on. We found some beautiful areas. Sam enjoyed all the new 'sniffs' out there too. But, she was not herself, and we both see that. I know the time is near. She is not one to let me just sit and take picture after picture of her while she sits and looks around. And for several, she just looked at me. Those sad eyes about made me cry, but I kept my camera steady and just clicked away. She had an accident in the car today. Something she has never done. At home, yes, but never in the car. Now, she's layin hear behind me on her blanket, exhausted from today.

Several of you have mentioned the 'when her nubbie no longer wags' thing. She still does, but it's not near as much or as energetic as before. We can both see the difference in her eyes tho. My hubbie said he really noticed it a few days ago for the first time. Since I spend 24/7 with her, I see it, but sometimes I wonder if it's just me. I guess not.

She is still eating and drinking too. We bought her some moist food instead of the kibble she was eating. She's really liking that, so, the appetite is still there.

I sit here and cry over all your stories of your own dealings with letting go of your babies. You are all in my heart. As hard as it is, I'm glad I'm not alone.

 

[Britbox]

I am heartbroken reading your post..I understand all the pain that you are going through, as do many of the people here, who have also had to go through this...so please know you are not alone...I can remember, before Poppy got too weak with the cancer, we would take her to the seaside, she loved the beach...and I would look at her, walking along like the old grey lady she was, at a very slow and wobbly pace, and remember how as a younger dog, she had raced through the sand, digging and jumping, pausing every now and then to sniff the air...loving every moment, you could see the joy on her face.
The last time we took her, I KNEW it was the last time..there was no mad nub wagging when we stopped the car, no excitement, and the effort of getting her out of the back seat and down to the sand....she just plodded a few steps, and sat down with the effort, so there we sat for a couple of hours, whilst she lay there, still lifting her head to sniff the sea breeze, and to watch the other dogs, running and swimming in the sea....but she could no longer join in the fun..I looked at her, and my heart broke, I knew she was looking at this scene for the very last time...I too took lots of photos that day, and when I look at them now, I can really see that the light had faded from her eyes....I wish you many more happy days with Sam, and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...stay strong we are all here for you.

 

[sweetboxer]

I just found your post and wanted to say how sorry I am that you have to go through this. I lost my Cadence last May @ 18 months due to cancer and it was one of the most difficult times in my life. I will say that Cadence definitely let me know when it was time. We had just gone on an experimental chemo drug b/c the first 2 rounds of chemo hadn't helped much, and I was going broke on a daily basis. So the oncologist gave us research medicine, which was free, but it wasn't helping. By Sunday evening, she was going blind and was in respiratory distress. She had a soft tissue sarcoma in her nasal cavity...I think I forgot to mention that. Anyway, I'll never forget...she and I were in the hallway, walking to the kitchen, and she kept falling into the way b/c she couldn't see, and I was helping her walk, and when we got to the kitchen, I looked down at her and she looked up at me, with no wagging nub, and I knew. It was there in her eyes. So I called the next day and set up her appointment and cried and cried and stayed up with her all night and prayed with all my might that overnight, she would start getting better and I could cancel her appointment. But I almost had to take her to the emergency vet b/c her breathing got worse through the night. By the next morning, I knew she needed my help and it was the most difficult thing I've done, but I helped her to the Bridge. I know she's safe and able to see, and running and chasing her frisbees with all of her friends who are at the Bridge. I was so grateful to her for helping me make the decision b/c I would sit up at night, wondering how I would know. Believe me, your baby will let you know. They are the most giving animals, right until the end. She will help you, too. Trust her as she trusts you.

Everyone has to decide for themselves when it's right to find another Boxer baby to love after they've lost one. For me, it came relatively quickly after losing Cadence b/c I was going crazy without a baby to take care of. Skye, our older Boxer, is much more independent than Cadence was, and even she was miserable. I had the week off after Cadence died, and Skye and I spent a lot of time together, but I could see that she was lonely and sad without Cadence. So about a week and a half later, we found Colby, who has been our godsend. I absolutely believe that Cadence led us to him b/c he is so much like her in some ways, and makes some of the same faces that she used to make. I know she had to have had a hand in helping us find him.

I am sending you many hugs and prayers during this time. Spend as much time with Sam as you can, and trust that she will let you know when it's time.

 

[richarc6]

I agree everyone has to make their own decisions however, I will also note that that decision need not be made with emotions. When Ruckus originally was sick, I was the distraught one. I was broken down and irrational. He wouldn't even allow the vets to speak to me because he was afraid I would get awful news while I was driving.... My husband was strong and determined get the diagnosis that would eventually come. We were at every vet and specialist in the area and I will tell you that week was the longest, hardest and most emotional of my life. We were online trying to find something it could be other than the lymphoma everyone thought it was....Could he have lyme disease? Maybe he ate spoiled meat....Could it just be doggie flu? I don't think that even existed, but we were reaching. Towards the end of the week I came to the realization it wasn't any of those many things we were trying to make it be and that's when my husband went into denial. He was only 5 1/2...It can't possibly be cancer! He wouldn't authorize the euthanasia. I begged and cried...I took off work to stay home with Ruckus between his fluids stays at the vet and I would hold him and beg him to die because I was sure Mike would not come around and he was suffering. That is the hardest. Fortunately, and fortunately is not really the right word....but even though his lymphoma tests has not come back his asperates did....and all five places came back positive...he was stage 5 and then and only then did Mike take him....I only tell this horrible story because I think sometimes we reach for things that are not feasible and I would give anything to take back some of the suffering that incurred by our refusal to let him go.....

Good luck to you...I know how hard it is....

Carolyn

Mom to:

Ali 2 yr brindle baby girl
Dempsey 4 month flashy fawn male

Ruckus 04/00-01/06 brindle male...

 

[Rocky's-Mom]

Just checking in to see how things were going today..hope things are going better...Hang in there...prayers and positive vibes from Rocky & Mom

 

[Jill's boxer]

I have been following this thread since my first post and wanted to let you know you and your boxerbaby, and I know how truly painful this is for you....but one thing I was realizing in regards to my own experience and in re-reading the other posters...I think when you are to the point that you are questioning if it is time...sadly it is usually because in your heart you know that it may be that it is time to say goodbye and you are trying so hard not to believe it is true. I wish you so much strength as you face this difficult decision and I know that you will do what is best for your boxer when you the time has come to make that final, most difficult sacrifice in her best interest, as you have surely done for her throughout her life; and as she is counting on you to do for her. My heart breaks for you....

 

[Cookiepie]

Nicole, I'm truly sorry for you and Sam. Sending lots of love your way.

 

[Tigress]

Again, I say thanks. You all have been so reassuring to me and it's wonderful to know you are all here. Amid the struggles, we had a good day.

We had a nice visit with friends of ours who have quickly grown attached to Sam. I wanted them to have a chance to say goodbye. And they did. they were thankful for the opportunity and thanked me for it. Our friend can sense many things and she told us that Sam is not in too much pain right now, but her body is beginning to shut down. She explained some of the things we told her that we see happening, and we felt alot better knowing this.

I think my husband & I will have to make the hard decision soon. I think in my heart I know, and he does too. As much as we want more time with her, we know it wont be much longer. I will keep you all posted.

Thank you all so much for the stories. Each one I read brings tears, not only for you all, but for me and Sam as well.

 

[Britbox]

Keeping you and Sam in my thoughts and prayers, sending lots of love and hugs your way, and a special Boxer kiss from Millie to Sam...stay strong, we are all with you.

 

[Tigress]

Decision made

Well, we have finally made the decision. The appt is for Monday, next week. I'm thinking after today, we may change it to Thursday or Friday of this week. A friend showed me to the rainboxbridge website. It was nice to read some of the other boxer memorial entries.

Thanks to you all for being here for me.