Frustrated with the boyfriend (long - just need to vent)

[Marybeth18]

I've been dating my BF for 5.5 years. It's been mostly a rocky road and there were many times we almost ended the relationship. We are both divorced, 2 kids each, both primary caregivers who have our kids during the week.

Anyway, early this summer, he decided that he was madly in love with me and has been crazy all of these years for not appreciating me more. Sweet, right? We had a great summer, mushy and in love but then reality slowly comes back into play.

We do not live together (I don't think we ever could although he says we will when the kids grow up) and see each other mostly on weekends.

There are a lot of differences between us - our age (15 years), our kids are like night and day and our feelings about dogs - which prompted me to start this thread this morning! I can usually just laugh things off but he drives me crazy! I made the mistake this morning of mentioning that Daisy was lazy this morning and didn't eat her breakfast. "Well, she shouldn't eat twice a day, she poops too much, she's spoiled rotten....blah blah blah....dogs are barnyard animals, your relationship with that dog is weird....etc etc."

You know, I love him but at the same time sometimes I really can't stand him! He told me that I've become one of those crazy dog people since I got her. You know what, since I got her (one year ago yesterday!) I feel so much more complete!

Sorry to go on and on. He does have his positive points. I just need to complain to people I know will understand.

 

[jo.mcqueen]

Men can't live with them can't live with out them!!!!!!

Obviously he's just jealous of the relationship that you have with your dog, the fact that it's unconditional!

 

[craZ4HERKIE]

I think that if men aren't owned by dogs...then they definitely are intimidated when women are!They want to be the center of attention at ALL times.The next guy I date will have to accept, love & care for my boys like I do...or it's no go!I have got quite mouthy as of late...and if he told me that...I probably would have told him to "Shut the He!! up...because I am really not interested in what you think of either me or my dog!"You may not want to do that, however!I think my mouthiness has come from years of biting my tongue with my ex!No More!...Good Luck...hope it gets better for you!

 

[xenaprincess]

It's ok to let off a little steam! Ya gotta vent once in awhile or you'll just explode! What better place than on board with "crazy dog people" like us!!
I think he may be slightly jealous of your relationship with your dog, and also largely mistaken with regards to his comment on dogs being barnyard animals. Some are bred to work on the farm, but they are not in fact "barn-yard" animals. I'm sure he was trying to say that dogs belong outside. I hope he doesn't think you would leave Daisy outside!!
I'd have to say that, for now, it's good that you guys don't live together. You say that may come later? How will he accept Daisy when you are all under the same roof daily? Something to think about.
Of course Daisy makes you complete! There's no love like a boxers love!

 

[Marybeth18]

Sharon - it's great that we don't live together! At least, now. Our kids are SO different (mine are like kids and his are like little adults).

Maybe one day when the kids are out of the house...but he'd still have to change his views on Daisy. His dog is just that to him - a dog. He believes that she should spend the majority of her time out in the backyard - alone. He does not like her to bark, she gets very little exercise and she is yelled at often. I know he loves her but our views are so completely different.

Daisy is very vocal. He lives behind a college dorm and there is a lot of foot traffic there. Daisy goes nuts and barks her head off - he HATES it. He told me just yesterday he wishes I never felt the need to get a dog. I laughed and told him that Daisy and I were a package deal. I told him that I loved her very much, that she makes me really happy and never fails to put a smile on my face. I also reminded him that she wags her nubbin extra hard for him even though I didn't think he was worthy of it.

So will I ever move in with him, even 10 years down the road? Probably not...I do love him very much but I know that somewhere out there is my prince charming who wants to help me find a second boxer!! Seriously, someone who will love my Daisy and any other dog just as much as me.

Thanks for listening all....

 

[brwneyesk8]

OOOh boyfriends...dont' get me started!!!
This is the most perfect place to vent, honey!!! I've had many people who just didnt' understand my relationship with my pup.....but jo.mcqueen states it perfectly....it's unconditional. In my opinion that's better then my relationships with humans!! LOL good luck!!!

 

[Cami]

I have always been an animal lover. I had dogs only all growing up (never a boxer), and upon turning 18 and moving out on my own I started in with the cats. Aside from 6 weeks last year when I lost my 17 year old I have had a cat(s) for nearly 20 years.

Last year I remember walking out the door on our way to pick up Cami (boxer). I remember thinking that I didn't want this. Hubby wanted her desperatly and I was giving him what he wanted (VS a skin child), thought I was getting off easy!!! For nearly 1 month I cried my self to sleep, I kept trying to NOT love her. Now you would literally have to pry her out of my arms and then perhaps shoot me to get her away from me. Where was I going with this???? Oh yeah, your BF can be replaced, your dog can't. I wrote about this in a post a week or so ago. Alot of times you hear about women judging men on how they treat their mothers. IF he is good to his mom then he is a good man. I prefer to judge a man on how he treats his animals. If he loves them as deeply as I do he's a keeper (my hubby does). If not there are more out there to chose from. Maybe a little of how you care for yours will rub off on him!

 

[Rocky Hoya]

You are so right Marybeth....somewhere out there is your prince charming. Someone that will treat you and your furbaby the way you should be treated. Dont spend too much time with a boyfriend that just frustrates you....I talk from experience my first boyfriend was okay but definetely had some flaws after 2 years together he was giving me grief for going on vacation with my sisters as he always did. I decided to go anyway and had a great time. Had the best week of my life with my sisters... came back and told him its over and a year later met my husband. I cant begin to tell you how my husband has treated me and my family with so much respect and love. I dont work (get to stay home with Rockyhoya all day) but maintain our house and my husband tells me how much he appreciates everything I do....If I go to the store when I come back he has done laundry, cleaned, taken rocky for a walk, and has a foot bath going for me. Who does that?? He loves me and Rocky.....boy does he love his furbaby. Anyway I am getting side tracked. There is someone out there that would love you and your Daisy so much. You only have one life to live so LIVE it.

 

[basak]

Vent all you want girl, this is the place to do it

You know, Baris is sometimes jealous of me and Krose too. He calls Krose ''momma's boy, apartment child, snob boxer'' etc etc...

I don't mind because he wishes I paid more attention to him, notmy dog Sometimes, very early in the mornings, I hear from my bedroom Baris saying ''my sweet boy, sweet sweet Krose'' and Krose giving big sighs....

Men just cannot express their feelings the way we do. I am sure if he spends a lot of time with Daisy, he'll start seeing your point of view and your feelings for her. It may take a little bit time to admit them though:D


basak

 

[megan313]

I totally understand your need to vent. I need to do it more, but just dont!! Your relationship with your dog is totally justified.

I was thinking...doesnt BW sometimes feel like the radio talk-show Delilah? LOL, request a song!!