Freckles and Hemangiosarcoma - Needs heeling Vibes!!!
- Thread starter dorloff
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jaimie
Boxer Insane
I am so sorry about Freckles! My prayers are with you and your family!
I don't want this to sound insensitive, I am not meaning it to sound that way. But I have to ask this, I am a mom of a boxer that had hemangiosarcoma and she died of it. We thank god we didn't even know she had it, see it was in her heart and we had no idea until the day she died. It was the worst day of my life and I would never wish it on anyone. That said, when you get this kind of news, how much is enough? I thank god everyday for the time I had with Britnee, for the laughter, hijinks & love she gave everyday. But not one time did I wish I changed my decision to let her die in my arms, that feeling she will forever remember looking into my eyes. Would you rather freckles remember the needles, shots, the time at the vet? Would you kick yourself in the rear knowing that she wanted to be done fighting and you refused to give up the fight for her? Just for it to happen that way anyway. You said she wouldn't get up for anyone would you rather her live that way? I would hate myself seeing Britnee live like that. That was not the Britnee I would've wanted to remember. Is there going to be a time that you can sit back and say, remember Freckles? We fought for her cancer, it was just too much we had to let her go? When is too much, too much? I once saw a police officer that said to me (when Brit was a pup he stopped me on the street), "I had a boxer she had kidney cancer. I kept her alive for me, we had her on dialisys (sp). I hate myself for it and I wish I never did it. Just remember that if Brit or your other boxer ever get sick don't keep them alive for you. If they are terminal let them go." I kept those words in my mind all though the years. Then when the time came for Brit, I had a choice, drain the pericardium (sack around the heart) and prolong her life for a short period of time OR give her up, in your arms. Let her go, she saw love, she saw a great life. She doesn't need to stay alive for me. I need to do this for her.
Think about this as you try more medicines that obviously aren't working, then think if you are ready to do something for her.
Please don't hate me, this is my opinion, what happened in my life, what I would do if she were mine.
I don't want this to sound insensitive, I am not meaning it to sound that way. But I have to ask this, I am a mom of a boxer that had hemangiosarcoma and she died of it. We thank god we didn't even know she had it, see it was in her heart and we had no idea until the day she died. It was the worst day of my life and I would never wish it on anyone. That said, when you get this kind of news, how much is enough? I thank god everyday for the time I had with Britnee, for the laughter, hijinks & love she gave everyday. But not one time did I wish I changed my decision to let her die in my arms, that feeling she will forever remember looking into my eyes. Would you rather freckles remember the needles, shots, the time at the vet? Would you kick yourself in the rear knowing that she wanted to be done fighting and you refused to give up the fight for her? Just for it to happen that way anyway. You said she wouldn't get up for anyone would you rather her live that way? I would hate myself seeing Britnee live like that. That was not the Britnee I would've wanted to remember. Is there going to be a time that you can sit back and say, remember Freckles? We fought for her cancer, it was just too much we had to let her go? When is too much, too much? I once saw a police officer that said to me (when Brit was a pup he stopped me on the street), "I had a boxer she had kidney cancer. I kept her alive for me, we had her on dialisys (sp). I hate myself for it and I wish I never did it. Just remember that if Brit or your other boxer ever get sick don't keep them alive for you. If they are terminal let them go." I kept those words in my mind all though the years. Then when the time came for Brit, I had a choice, drain the pericardium (sack around the heart) and prolong her life for a short period of time OR give her up, in your arms. Let her go, she saw love, she saw a great life. She doesn't need to stay alive for me. I need to do this for her.
Think about this as you try more medicines that obviously aren't working, then think if you are ready to do something for her.
Please don't hate me, this is my opinion, what happened in my life, what I would do if she were mine.
RonniRN
Boxer Pal
Sayge is not well- healing vibes for Freckles
I am so sorry that Freckles is not doing that well. I am crying right now as I had to take Sayge to the ER tonight and leave her there to be admitted. She looked so scared when we were leaving her. She became lethargic again tonight as she did 3 weeks ago and her abdomen was contracting like she was in pain. I called the surgeon that I had an appt with next Friday and they said bring her in. They tapped her abdomen and she is bleeding from the spleen into her abdomen so they started her on IV's and kept her. If they have to they will do ER surgery tonight or if it can wait they will do the splenectomy in the next couple days. We decided we will not see her in pain and if it is cancer and she starts to decline we will have to do the right thing
as much as it hurts us. I will miss her tonight when I lay down because she sleeps right next to me. The doctor said there is no way to tell if it is a hemangiosarcoma or hematoma until the biopsy is done. Thank you so much for telling me about Freckles and the trials and tribulations. I feel for you and all you have gone through. Please give Freckles a kiss for Sayge and I. Sayge needs some healing boxer vibes right now.... Thanks all....
Rhonda and Sayge
I am so sorry that Freckles is not doing that well. I am crying right now as I had to take Sayge to the ER tonight and leave her there to be admitted. She looked so scared when we were leaving her. She became lethargic again tonight as she did 3 weeks ago and her abdomen was contracting like she was in pain. I called the surgeon that I had an appt with next Friday and they said bring her in. They tapped her abdomen and she is bleeding from the spleen into her abdomen so they started her on IV's and kept her. If they have to they will do ER surgery tonight or if it can wait they will do the splenectomy in the next couple days. We decided we will not see her in pain and if it is cancer and she starts to decline we will have to do the right thing
as much as it hurts us. I will miss her tonight when I lay down because she sleeps right next to me. The doctor said there is no way to tell if it is a hemangiosarcoma or hematoma until the biopsy is done. Thank you so much for telling me about Freckles and the trials and tribulations. I feel for you and all you have gone through. Please give Freckles a kiss for Sayge and I. Sayge needs some healing boxer vibes right now.... Thanks all....
Rhonda and Sayge
dorloff
Boxer Booster
Rhonda and Sayge
Dear Rhonda,
I'm so sorry to hear about Sayge. It is so tough but just hang in there. I hope they can do the biopsy soon as well as the spleenectomy.
Stay strong and positive. I'm sure Sayge will pull thru.
Sending all the love and healing vibes from Freckles, Pepper and I!!!!
Take care!!!
Dear Rhonda,
I'm so sorry to hear about Sayge. It is so tough but just hang in there. I hope they can do the biopsy soon as well as the spleenectomy.
Stay strong and positive. I'm sure Sayge will pull thru.
Sending all the love and healing vibes from Freckles, Pepper and I!!!!
Take care!!!
sweetboxer
Banned
Denise,
I'm so glad to hear that Freckles is back to herself. I've been thinking about you both all week. And although I understand jaimie's point of view, please don't doubt anything that you are doing for Freckles. Being a mommy of a cancer patient, I know how hard each decision is to make. I know what it's like to sit in the office and hope and pray that each blood test comes back normal, that each xray is clean, that each treatment is working. I know what it's like to see your baby walk out of that treatment room acting like the little crazy pup she was before she got sick, and feeling so happy that you start crying right there in the office. This whole journey is so difficult for so many reasons, and there are so many choices and decisions that you face. You do the best that you can for her and go from there. I promise you that when it's time, Freckles will let you know. The look will come and you will know in your heart that you've done all you can. But until that look comes, keep fighting. She isn't finished yet and that's where you get your cue. On my worst days, I sometimes wonder if I should have not given Cadence any chemo at all. Then I remember how much fun she had running and chasing her frisbees, and even with her little port in, there she was, running around like a complete lunatic. The neighbors never even knew she was getting chemo until they got up close to see her port. Once the chemo failed and the research drug failed, I knew we were losing our battle. But until the look came, I would not give up on her. I stand by my decision, even if some people don't agree with it. That's okay. I fully expected that. Everyone makes their own choice based on what works for them. Just please don't doubt yourself b/c Freckles knows that you are trying to do whatever you can for her. She trusts you, just like Cadence trusted me. We would never do them harm. You give that girl the biggest hug and kiss you can from me and then give yourself an even bigger hug.
Stay strong, sweet girl. You can beat this.
Nicole, Colby, and Skye
I'm so glad to hear that Freckles is back to herself. I've been thinking about you both all week. And although I understand jaimie's point of view, please don't doubt anything that you are doing for Freckles. Being a mommy of a cancer patient, I know how hard each decision is to make. I know what it's like to sit in the office and hope and pray that each blood test comes back normal, that each xray is clean, that each treatment is working. I know what it's like to see your baby walk out of that treatment room acting like the little crazy pup she was before she got sick, and feeling so happy that you start crying right there in the office. This whole journey is so difficult for so many reasons, and there are so many choices and decisions that you face. You do the best that you can for her and go from there. I promise you that when it's time, Freckles will let you know. The look will come and you will know in your heart that you've done all you can. But until that look comes, keep fighting. She isn't finished yet and that's where you get your cue. On my worst days, I sometimes wonder if I should have not given Cadence any chemo at all. Then I remember how much fun she had running and chasing her frisbees, and even with her little port in, there she was, running around like a complete lunatic. The neighbors never even knew she was getting chemo until they got up close to see her port. Once the chemo failed and the research drug failed, I knew we were losing our battle. But until the look came, I would not give up on her. I stand by my decision, even if some people don't agree with it. That's okay. I fully expected that. Everyone makes their own choice based on what works for them. Just please don't doubt yourself b/c Freckles knows that you are trying to do whatever you can for her. She trusts you, just like Cadence trusted me. We would never do them harm. You give that girl the biggest hug and kiss you can from me and then give yourself an even bigger hug.
Stay strong, sweet girl. You can beat this.
Nicole, Colby, and Skye
dorloff
Boxer Booster
Thank you...
Thank you everyone for their support. I really appreciate it.
Nicole - I've tried to send you a private message but I can't. I keep getting an error. :-(
My email address is deniseorloff@yahoo.com.
I know in my heart that Freckles will let us know. I give her all the credit in the world.
Today ~ I was ready to give up but she just started to get better and began eating. She is tired but she is strong. She got mad at Pepper for trying to take her cookie. She pushed her aside and ate her cookie!!
It has been a draining but nonregretful experience. I'm blessed to have such support from boxerworld, friends and family.
One way or the other ~ Freckles will be better.
Hugs and Kisses to everyone!!
Freckles, Pepper and Denise
Thank you everyone for their support. I really appreciate it.
Nicole - I've tried to send you a private message but I can't. I keep getting an error. :-(
My email address is deniseorloff@yahoo.com.
I know in my heart that Freckles will let us know. I give her all the credit in the world.
Today ~ I was ready to give up but she just started to get better and began eating. She is tired but she is strong. She got mad at Pepper for trying to take her cookie. She pushed her aside and ate her cookie!!
It has been a draining but nonregretful experience. I'm blessed to have such support from boxerworld, friends and family.
One way or the other ~ Freckles will be better.
Hugs and Kisses to everyone!!
Freckles, Pepper and Denise
dorloff
Boxer Booster
Touchy but better
I am so grateful that our oncologist is so responsive. She was getting back to normal than she started not to eat.
Turns out that we were trying to hard to keep up our medicine. Our oncogolist told us that it is okay to cut back for 4 days but make sure that she is eating and drinking. If not, we will have to get an IV for her. (YESSHHH - that's all Freckles need is more needles!!)
Anyhow, once we cut back on her meds she started to bounce back. She is playing, eating and using our living room drapes as her personal napkin! We are in awe as to how tough she is. She wants to live but her body is just making it difficult. We have to be so careful to make sure that she gets lots of rest and does not over do it.
I don't know if it is just me or very wishful thinking but I had noticed that the mass tumors that are under her skin are not as lumpy as before. They were pretty swollen last week but after the chemo and some meds ... we noticed that the lumps are not as swollen. Her eyes and gums are pink again and she even (to our dismay) snuck up the stairs to our bedroom. We don't want her to over do it nor strain herself because we do not want any of the mass tumors to burst and cause another bleed out. We thought we had the staircase blocked but she was able to make a path for herself.
It has been an emotional rollercoaster but I am so glad that we have her and I am enjoying every minute that we have with her. I am hoping that this chemo and meds will keep the tumors under control as well as possibly shrink them. She is a fighter and as long as she wants to fight - we will give her everything we can to help her. My husband's dad even took a few hours off from work on Friday to take care of her. My father-in-law is 81 years old and was on all fours kissing her, chasing after her and even cooking for her. My poor mother in law doesn't even get that treatment when she is ill. She had to take pictures of the two because she has never seen him like that. It was a sight!! Funny thing is.. we went to visit in the evening and he had just returned from the chiropractor to take care of his back. HHHMMMMM!!
Hope all is well with everyone.
Take care!!
Freckles, Pepper and Denise
I am so grateful that our oncologist is so responsive. She was getting back to normal than she started not to eat.
Turns out that we were trying to hard to keep up our medicine. Our oncogolist told us that it is okay to cut back for 4 days but make sure that she is eating and drinking. If not, we will have to get an IV for her. (YESSHHH - that's all Freckles need is more needles!!)
Anyhow, once we cut back on her meds she started to bounce back. She is playing, eating and using our living room drapes as her personal napkin!
We are in awe as to how tough she is. She wants to live but her body is just making it difficult. We have to be so careful to make sure that she gets lots of rest and does not over do it. I don't know if it is just me or very wishful thinking but I had noticed that the mass tumors that are under her skin are not as lumpy as before. They were pretty swollen last week but after the chemo and some meds ... we noticed that the lumps are not as swollen. Her eyes and gums are pink again and she even (to our dismay) snuck up the stairs to our bedroom. We don't want her to over do it nor strain herself because we do not want any of the mass tumors to burst and cause another bleed out. We thought we had the staircase blocked but she was able to make a path for herself.
It has been an emotional rollercoaster but I am so glad that we have her and I am enjoying every minute that we have with her. I am hoping that this chemo and meds will keep the tumors under control as well as possibly shrink them. She is a fighter and as long as she wants to fight - we will give her everything we can to help her. My husband's dad even took a few hours off from work on Friday to take care of her. My father-in-law is 81 years old and was on all fours kissing her, chasing after her and even cooking for her. My poor mother in law doesn't even get that treatment when she is ill.
She had to take pictures of the two because she has never seen him like that. It was a sight!! Funny thing is.. we went to visit in the evening and he had just returned from the chiropractor to take care of his back. HHHMMMMM!! Hope all is well with everyone.
Take care!!
Freckles, Pepper and Denise
sweetboxer
Banned
Denise,
I'm so glad to hear that Freckles is doing better! She sure is a tough little girl. I did send you an email to your home email since for some reason my private messaging isn't working. I love that your father-in-law treats Freckles better than his wife--that cracked me up! My dad helped me take care of Cadence, taking her to treatments when I had to work, etc...I couldn't have done that without him. Pop-Pop to the rescue, as always! Keep us posted on how your girl does. Feel free to email me at home anytime too. Let me know if you didn't get my email.
Stay strong, Freckles girl. You are loved!!! lovicon
Nicole, Colby, and Skye
with big angel hugs from Cadence 9/25/03-5/24/05
I'm so glad to hear that Freckles is doing better! She sure is a tough little girl. I did send you an email to your home email since for some reason my private messaging isn't working. I love that your father-in-law treats Freckles better than his wife--that cracked me up! My dad helped me take care of Cadence, taking her to treatments when I had to work, etc...I couldn't have done that without him. Pop-Pop to the rescue, as always! Keep us posted on how your girl does. Feel free to email me at home anytime too. Let me know if you didn't get my email.
Stay strong, Freckles girl. You are loved!!! lovicon
Nicole, Colby, and Skye
with big angel hugs from Cadence 9/25/03-5/24/05
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