Bad Car Accident (long)

[Mama_Zookeeper]

Thursday evening on the way home from work we came upon a very bad accident in front of our entrance to our subdivision. 3 cars one totaled. I jumped out of my car (husband was still in here with our boys) and took off my scrub jacket for a young boy who had a very bloody face. I could see a woman in the totaled car and she looked bad...lots of blood. Another by stander was yelling at me to see how the young boy was and asking me to grab a man who was stumbling and appeared to have chest pains. The guy yelling explained he was an EMT and his attention was focused on the woman in the car. I grabbed the stumbling guy and had him lie down and covered him with a towel I keep in my SUV. By now the ambulances were arriving and my husband was pulling over into the subdivision to clear the area. He had to manuever around the totaled car and like I said it was bad and my boys saw everything. I stepped back to let the EMT's do their thing but the young boy hung onto me (his mom was the lady in the car). We used my cell phone to call his dad who was there within minutes. I gave my info to the cops (I didn't see the accident just came upon it) and left. My 6 yr old was shaken up and I tried really hard to make light of the situation, but he has never seen so much "stuff" around him before.

Next day I was preparing dinner and my husband was feeding our dogs, when we heard on the news that the woman in the car died (she was airlifted to a hospital where she died overnight). My son was in the kitchen with us and started crying. I am not sure what to do with him. He has been so sullen and weepy since he heard. My dad came over tot he house earlier today and offered to take him out bowling with him and his league (something my son lives for) and Christian did not want to go.

Those of you who know me know about my brother's murder last year and my sons were witness to my mom recieving the news by phone from the coroner's office in WA. This was very traumatic for them and now my 6 yr old is very focused on death again. Chriatian keeps asking why people have to die and if this lady was young (he somehow thinks only old people should die). I want to be there for him, but am a mess around the subject myself lately. Please say a prayer for Christian, I think he will be okay with time. I just want to see him acting like a silly 6 yr old again.

Dora

 

[hanley]

Dora, I'm so sorry,Idon't know what else to say, you never really know what is going through a childs mind when they see or hear something like that, try & get him to talk about this with you, instead of keeping his feelings inside, we always fear the unknown. Sending you & family my prayers. Boxer Pal,Hanley

 

[The Duke]

Hi,
What a change from the story about your dad. This story is absolutely devastating. I have always been raised to make lemons out of lemonade. It may no seem possible right now. But maybe in time your kids will learn not to take life for granted, and to appreciate each and every day they are alive. Most people dont learn to do that until they are adults. So your children may learn it sooner and live a better life because of it. It is a good idea to talk openly about what happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Donna

 

[Idgie's Dad]

Dora,

Tough situation for anyone to witness let alone young kids. Glad you were not a few seconds earlier or you might have been involved. I would suggest letting your kids know you are there to chat about it and discuss the issues if they seem interested, but try not to let it be an issue that is talked about too much afterwards and could become an issue for days or weeks. I would reassure your children about how unlikely it is that anything like this would happen to anyone else at there large school during their time there, let alone anyone they know. They will especially want the assurance that it is not going to happen to their mum - said with complete confidence. My sons friend was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few days after they were playing at my lads 7th birthday soccer party - and was dead within a month. Needless to say that was a big shock for the whole class and the school. However, when the deputy head, herself in her late 50's, pointed out to the school that she had only ever lost one other child in her 30 years of teaching and that was in a car accident, this reassured all the children how relatively rare these things are. Needless to say they mourned and took it very hard but at least it can minimise the worry.

Rest assured, as I'm sure you know with your full household, kids are very resilient. It was great that you were able to provide the all important initial help and comfort to the casualties, especially the child. Hope this is of some help.

Tony

 

[Rlr.Giraffe]

Oh Dora, I can identify... we witnessed a fatal accident this summer when we were travelling across country. We stayed on the scene to help out and found an injured man and his father had clearly passed on in the crash. It haunts me, and I am sure it will continue to be in your thoughts for some time. I really feel for you and your son... death is such a terrible thing to witness and have close to you. And for your young son, probably a very difficult thing to comprehend. You're in my prayers.

Jen

 

[Austin's Mom]

I remember coming home one night a few years ago and seeing someone laying in the middle of the highway all mangled up. It stuck with me for the longest time. Could it be that Christian is afraid HIS Mom will die like the other boy's? You just don't know what goes thru their little minds. I'll say a prayer for all of you.

 

[frankied]

So sorry to hear this :( Accidents are awful. Prayers for your family and especially Christian. I am not sure how I would explain it all myself. Sometimes we become desensitized to this type of thing but with children I think it is alot harder. We all have our time to go and I think as adults we understand that where as kids don't. Many healing vibes for your hearts for all you have been through and for the family of the lady who passed.

 

[momstaxi]

i'm so sorry this happened. Accidents are horrible. Just be there for your son and try to answer his questions and like the others said I'm sure he's concerned about losing HIS Mommy. Lots of reassurance and love should get him through this ok. But if necessary a counselor could help too. Good luck. You and this woman's family are in my thoughts and prayers
Michele

 

[marciafinn]

I will keep your family in my prayers and say an extra one for Christian to help him through this tough time. ((hugs))

 

[Mama_Zookeeper]

Christian is hanging in there. We picked out some flowers at the 1-800-FLOWERS web site for the family of the woman who passed. I did not want to go to her house with flowers as I am sure people are grieving and I just cannot do that right now. Christian and I talked while we picked out the flowers. He is sad about it and wants to know why God lets bad things happen. I told explained this in the best way I know how...we talked about how I want my boys to do good things, but sometimes they do the wrong thing and it ends up being bad for them. He seemed to grasp onto this. We called my Aunt Aurora in Chicago who is a minister and she said we cannot question God because only he knows what the plan for creation is, but we should pray for her family and again I think Christian understood this. He is acting a little better but keeps asking things I just don't know how to answer. He wants to know if I know when I or Daddy or his brothers, etc are going to die and am I scared to die. I feel very wishy washy because I am fluffing my answers. I don't want to say we aren't going to die for a long time becasue I don't know if this is true. My grief from Steve is still very fresh and painful and I cry too much over this and Christian's questions.
We also baked some brownies and cookies for the son of the woman who passed on, but my husband and oldest son with Rocky in tow delivered them as I don't want to see all the familiar things of a house grieving. I was told the little boy like Rocky enough to laugh that his butt wiggles (he had never seen a boxer nubby going full speed before). They did not stay long and I did not ask how everything was.

On the good side of things I talked to Christians teacher (he is in 1st grade) and she promised to take it easy on him. She is 7 mos pregnant and let Christian feel the baby moving and she said it made him smile, they had a talk and neither will tell me what was said, but Christian seems to be excited about a baby coming. Hopeful and sweet...thanks for everything. I know your prayers are working. If I ever win the lotto I am going to have to collect addresses to send out $ to each and every one of you guys for your good thoughts, prayers and vibes because they are working.

Dora