Why do people feel compelled to give you their 'expert' opinion (vent - long, sorry)

[gordsan]

I take Mason in the evenings to an unofficial dog park - we've been going since he was a puppy. I've always thought the people there were too cliquish - but as I've no desire to be best friends with them, never worried about it. I have a couple of dear friends, who also feel the same way, but as we have few options in San Francisco for off-leash play, and as the dogs get some good socializing in, we keep going back.

Over the last two weeks I've had to deal with the self-crowned "queen of the park" confronting me about my 'dangerous dog' who always attacks people and other dogs. This stemmed from him barking at someone walking through the park. I called him and he stopped and came to me. Then a new dog came to the park, and I wasn't paying attention, and something happened where Mason growled and pinned the dog - not causing any damage. If this was something he did regularly, obviously I would be concerned. Obviously it is not right that he 'attacks' but the few times (and they are few) that he's put a dog in it's place, he has pinned them and not left a mark on them. He could, being a large, strong dog, rip them apart if he wanted to, and I'm aware of that and have kept him well socialized. I'm not irresponsible and I would never put my dog or any other dog in a situation that was dangerous. So to have this woman accuse me, (it wasn't her dog involved by the way - the dog's owner said that this often happened with her dog in new parks) in front of 20 or so people and tell me I should not bring my dog to the park, was infuriating. I tried to stay calm, but she kept going on and on about how dangerous Mason is! I ended up just leaving the park I was so upset and angry. Then the few times I went back, she wasn't there but her friends were, and you would have thought I was contagious as they all just glared and gave me attitude.

So last night, Queen of the Park and her entourage were all there, so I took Mason off to another part of the park (it's not big, but I was a little way from the group, and we started a good game of tug of war. He loves tug. I am working hard on his "off" and we struggle with that - but he and I had a blast. One of the entourage came over and told me that playing tug of war was contributing to my dogs dangerous behavior and, as she knew more than me and had read more books, I should stop playing this game! I thanked her for her opinion, and said that I didn't think it was a problem (I knew I had read something somewhere, but of course couldn't remember where or what in the heat of the moment!!). She told me I should stop immediately in her opinion - I obviously couldn't control my dog and this would only make it worse. I told her I was a little tired of everyone branding my dog as 'dangerous' and giving me their opinions, but thanks anyway! She still kept on - I'm and expert and I'm only trying to help you have more fun with your dog!! I told her I'd have far more fun if people in this park would keep their 'expert' opinion to themselves - and left the park.

Of course, today I remembered the great section in The Culture Clash and have copied it. I'm going to tack up many copies in the park and make sure she sees it and smile sweetly and tell her where to stick her 'expert' opinion!!

Phew - I feel better for the rant, but am seriously considering leaving San Francisco - people here are so anti-dogs anyway and to have dog owners turning on other dog owners is the final straw. What happened to old fashioned manners and courtesy!!??

"Dangerous" Mason and Sandra

 

[Toni'smom]

Oh yeah - Mason looks so vicious, expecially in the reindeer ears. Anyone with any sense would just want to reach over and kiss his mushy face. Some people are so ignorant. You have to wonder if there was some inbreeding there somewhere. (people not dogs) I think you just have run into a group of snobs that know nothing about boxers. While you are tacking up the part about tug-of-war maybe you should tack up the explanation of what a boxer is - a big clown. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[mom2ash]

I can see why you got so ticked off. I got mad for you while I was reading your post! You probably handled it way better than I would have. No one is going to take their dogs somewhere if they feel that their dogs are a potential danger to others. For instance, I wouldn't take my dog to the playground if I knew he hated kids. Whatever! Sounds to me like the "Queen of the Park" needs to be dethroned and you are just the person to do it!

 

[gordsan]

Thanks

It's so good to get support from people who know our breed. Dangerous indeed! I'm the first to admit he's not perfect - I don't want perfect - if I did, I'd have a lab or something else with far less personality. He can be a brat, stubborn and independent - and he drives me crazy sometimes. But I know the only damage he'll do is slobber over your clothing and lick off a couple of layers of skin!

 

[Konah's Mom]

Geeez. Some people's children! Who does she think she is anyway? I'd probably have asked "the expert" to see her credentials because even first graders can read a book! I haven't taken Konah to a dog park yet (we have a few) but I hope we don't run into any self-important quacks. I'm so angry for you.heehee, just thought of something, maybe try and teach Mason a hand signal to roll onto his back and make grunting noises, so the next time they say he's dangerous, he can do it and make them look like morons! *L* Sorry you had to/have to go through that. Keep us posted on how things develop.

 

[Scrapper's Mom]

*sigh* Dog park people... these people think they own the park; it's their own little domain, blah, blah, blah. I got tired of that. One woman made some comment about Scrapper one time that ticked me off. Also, you see people who keep their dogs on leash and don't understand that it changes the dynamic between the dogs; people who expect dogs to play like children; people who bring their ACTUAL little kids and let them run in the middle of the dogs; people who don't control their dogs... After Scrapper got bitten a couple of times and I got bitten once trying to keep another dog from attacking him, I stopped going. Besides, that grody looking water dish made me wonder about what germs might be lurking there. And the dogpark here isn't much more than a muddy field anyhow. With some crabby women standing around thinking they know everything. Scrapper can play here with Holly and I don't have to worry about that anymore.

 

[bommy]

I used to think you guys were lucky having dog parks!

We dont have any dog parks near us & I used to think that you guys were lucky having somewhere your dogs could socialize freely....now I am not so sure, especially having to put up with park dictators! I wonder if she is like this with other people that are realitively new to "her park" orthat are not part of her entourage! good luck in dealing with her..

Jacqui

 

[frankied]

OH my! I think I would have flipped. What business is it of theirs anyway? Do they have some paper showing ownership of the park :rolleyes: Anyway good on you keeping your cool. You should have seen Angel put Willis in his place when they met. She pinned him a few times. I have seen this many a time when boxers play. Some people think they are so educated when really they are not at all! I would not let them chase you out of the park I would just stay away like you were last and ask them to stop harrassing you with their "so called" "expert" opinion!

Christa

 

[Mama_Zookeeper]

I think my blood pressure just went up reading your post!
Smile and let people know that their advice is neither wanted or appreciated. Better yet ask her next time she says "dangerous dog" what exactly she means. Does she even know what breed your pup is and that training is a work in progress. God save us from perfect people and their opinions!

Dora & the Zoo Crew

 

[BoxerLuv82]

What's wrong with people??

I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with their ignorance! Goes to show how ignorant and foolish people can act when they assume too much. I must say, Mason is gorgeous! He looks so sweet and although our furbabies are a bit big and muscular, it doesn't mean they're vicious. Honestly, I'm more afraid of poodles, jack russels, and chihuahuas, . Those are the tough ones!
But I congradulate you on your ability to keep cool, I would have flipped.

I'm telling you, we should have a boxer nation, . A country all our own with parks everywhere