When to say Goodbye?

[Anthony]

We rescued Morley almost eight years ago. Just under a year ago a tumor was found in his anal gland and another under his bladder. Other than some weight loss he has been fine until two weeks ago. Despite being walked six times a day he is almost incontinent and can barely relieve himself no matter how much he tries. His strength is down and he has gotten wobbly.
Despite that he is still the happy friendly guy he has always been. He has been playing in the snow and enthusiastic about his meals. My wife is in utter turmoil but I can't look him in the eyes and say his time has come.
How does anyone make this decision?

 

[x19er]

I sympathise with you I really do - I've been thinking the same thing today. Our Sophie has a recently diagnosed heart condition and I'm waiting to go to the vets today as the side of her face has swollen up from the bottom of her jowl to above her eyebrow - she's miserable today. From having a sickness free 11 years she's gone downhill so much over the last wee while :( I just hope when her time comes we can make the right decision for her - but like you say when is that time? You always hope the next day or the next week they will be so much better.

I'm very sorry your Morley is poorly, my heart goes out to you.

 

[auntthelm]

I am so sorry that you have to go throught this. Only you will know when the time is right, but even if and when it is time, it will not be any easier. It is one of the most difficult things I have ever done in life. I wish you peace.

 

[HurricaneBox]

My heart goes out to you too, its always the hardest decision to make, when to help a precious one to the bridge. I have not had to help a dog over, but I have had to send several cats to the Bridge, and I can tell you (and have heard others say here on this board) that when the time comes you just know. I will never forget the day I had to send my precious kitty Chocolate to the Bridge... he had been sick with liver failure for 8 months, and I had nursed him every day with meds, hand feeding/watering him, etc, and I woke up that morning, and saw that look in his eyes that said "I am ready to go". I could tell he was tired of fighting to stay, and it broke my heart but I had to let him go.

I think you will know when your precious Morley is ready to go. I am so sorry that the time to even think about this has come to you, and you will be in our thoughts and prayers. Enjoy what time you have left (short or long!) with Morley!

 

[HurricaneBox]

Our Sophie has a recently diagnosed heart condition and I'm waiting to go to the vets today as the side of her face has swollen up from the bottom of her jowl to above her eyebrow - she's miserable today. From having a sickness free 11 years she's gone downhill so much over the last wee while :( I just hope when her time comes we can make the right decision for her - but like you say when is that time? You always hope the next day or the next week they will be so much better.

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I wanted to say I am sorry to hear Sophie isn't doing well today, I will be sending warm thoughts her way!

 

[Donna1969]

I was in a very similar situation. My girl was dx with Lymphoma but she never seemed to "act" sick. she was always the chow hound and ran around like a lunatic. she was a bit over 8 when we got the devestating news. I often wondered and asked here at BW how I would know it "was time", I had never had to help an pet to the Bridge and I didn't want to help her to the Bridge if she had some good time left but I also didn't want to let it go too long and have her suffer in anyway :(

I was told by several members that *I* WOULD know. That I would feel it deep in my soul. At the time I scoffed at the advice thinking...they have no idea when its time either and they're using a cliche' to comfort me.

Let me tell you, they were all SO correct in saying you'll know when its time! When that fateful day came, I can honestly say with a hand to God..I KNEW! She "changed" somehow over night and she wasn't the dog I'd known for so long. Her nubby wasn't wagging no matter what I did and there was something in her eyes, something in the way she looked at me. I just knew she was ready, like the members here said, something deep down in my soul screamed "let her go, its time"..and I did the most loving thing I could have done for her, I took her, to the vet she loved so much, and let her go peacefully, with dignity, feeling me pet her soft head as she lay it in my lap as I did so many in the years looking in my eyes and smelling my scent as she closed those beautiful brown eyes and drifted of to the Bridge.

I am so sorry to hear of your babys illness, but I will honestly tell you, HE will let you know and you WILL know it! As long as you can look him in the eyes and just know that its not his time..then I think you can go with your gut, its not time, yet.

 

[JulieJay]

Im so sorry to hear about Morley.

I have never had to help a pet across the bridge, but my heart is going out to you and your family.
You will know when the time is right and you will be with him when he goes.

Keeping you both in my thoughts.

 

[butlersmom]

I, too, am sorry you're even having to contemplate this. But everyone has told you exactly what I would have said. You WILL know. I think they know, and somehow convey that to you. Without a doubt, having to make that decision myself was the hardest thing I have ever done - but it was the right, and selfless thing, also. My thoughts are with you and your wife during this time. The only advice I can give you is to try to enjoy each day you have with your boy instead of worrying when his last day will be. Hard to do, I know - but all of you will be happier if you can manage it.

 

[liamsmom]

when our Dakota was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma I was feeling the same way you are right now.......HOW WILL WE KNOW WHEN TO SAY GOODBYE???????
everyone told me......YOU WILL KNOW.
i couldn't understand it at the time...but when the time came........they were right.
i knew it was time.

when quality of life is gone...
when bad days outweigh the good days...
when pain is a factor...
when we are prolonging the inevitable...
when we feel there is nothing more we can do for them...
these are all things that i used to go over in my head ALL THE TIME. and when the time came.......I KNEW we were making the right decision.

hugs to you at this time. i know it's not easy.

 

[Boxerworld]

I am so sorry to hear about your boxer not doing well.
I agree with everyone here but I would also suggest to get an external opinion too, like your vet's opinion per example. As owners we might have a tendancy to see more the positive aspects (like the dog seems happy) than the negative ones (the dog is not having a quality life most of the time) because we do not accept to lose them.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Olly