We had to say goodbye to our baby girl

[dan h]

Our babygirl, Lexi, is now gone to the bridge. Recently, she was throwing up every couple of days. One doctor had told us that it was parvo, but after all the recommended treatment, whe was still not feeling better. He told us to give some time. But every day that went by, we noticed her to be weaker and sadder. She didn't want to run anymore or play with her buddy Max. All she wanted to do was cuddle with us. What a sweetie! I couldn't take it anymore, so I took her to another doctor that was recommended to us. She told us that she had very high toxin levels in her blood and that it could be renal disease. She suggested that we should have her x-rayed. The results came back and it broke my heart. The doctor said that her kidneys had never developed and it will never develop. She said that we had two choices, either to put her to sleep or to find another sibling for a kidney transplant. If we chose to do the transplant, we would have to find a sibling, convince them to help us, pay $8,000 for surgery, and then for the rest of her life, treat her with dialisys every week. The doctor had told us that Lexi was fighting death really hard, because at the levels of toxins in her blood, she should have already died or be too sick to even move. But even to the last minute, our Lexi was still giving us kisses and wiggling her tail. Given the two choices and seeing our baby girl not wanting to go yet, it made me feel like a coward to have chosen to put her to sleep. Once the decision was made, the doctor told us that that was the better choice, because although the transplant was an alternative, it was unrealistic. But yet, I still feel guilty. I held her close as the doctor injected her with the drugs to help her go to sleep, and as a matter of seconds, her body lost all energy and resistance. It was one of the hardest things I had to deal with. As her body kept getting colder, I was regreting the choice and I kept apologizing to her that we couldn't do anything further to help her. She was only 4 months old. If I think back to how sweat and loving she was, I can't believe that she was that sick. She was brave. Our house feels so empty now without her. Max, our other boxer, is so sad and sometimes it seems that he is looking for her or waiting for her to come home. When I walk him, he will get all excited to rush to the areas in the park that they used to run together and when he gets there, it's like he doesn't understand why she is not there waiting for him. We really miss her. I hope she knows that we really love her.

 

[Boxerworld]

Dan,

I am very sorry for your loss. Do not regret the fact you had to put her to sleep because you didn't really have the choice. As you wrote, the transplant was unrealistic. You did all you could do for Lexi and I am sure she knows you love her.
You and your family are in my thoughts.

Olly

 

[Aimee]

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I would recommend contacting the breeder that you got her from so that he/she is aware that this has happened. Know that you have performed the most selfless act possible for your little girl. Although there might have been an alternative, I think quality of life is what is most important when weighing these types of decisions. Money aside, even if you could have found a sibling and had the transplant done, there is no guarantee the body wouldn't reject the kidney or that the kidney itself wouldn't have eventually failed as well. I had a sheltie that was in the beginnings of kidney failure and in the end was getting fluids several times a week. Without them, quality of life for him was poor and honestly when I think back now, I wonder if it was fair to keep him hanging on like that. These types of decisions aren't easily made and I am in hopes that you will soon find peace with what you chose. Lexi knows by your choice that you loved her too much to watch her suffer and you loved her too much to force her to stay. Keep in mind that Lexi is romping at the bridge happily and in full health with all the other furbabies who have gone on before us. They will ease her transition at the bridge and welcome her openly. Here is a poem that I found much comfort in after Garrett passed away and I have shared it before with others who have lost their loved ones. I hope it bring to you as much comfort as it did to me!

God knew that you were suffering
That the hills were hard to climb
So He gently closed your eyelids
And whispered, "Peace be thine"
In tears we watched you sinking
We watched you fade away
Our hearts were surely broken
You fought so hard to stay
But when we saw you sleeping
So peaceful, free from pain
We could not wish you back
To suffer that again
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you did not go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home

Your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[Debbie Magon]

I am so very sorry to hear this. That poor wee girl must have been a real little fighter, as the vets said.

You certainly did the right thing by her, no matter how hard and devistating that decision was for you.

It is a very unselfish act to allow a loved one relase from pain and suffering.

As a breeder myself I would definately want to know about this pup for future records etc.

If you do know her breeder it would be a good idea to share your findings.

((((((((((hugs to you and Max))))))))))))

 

[buddy'smom]

Dan
I am so sorry to hear about your little Lexi. Making the decision to say goodbye to them is the hardest thing we boxer companions have to make. Yet it is also one of the kindest acts we can do for them when they are suffering. Lexi was fortunate to have known, felt and given love in her few short months here on earth, and she had a wonderful family to share all that love with. Take care, and know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Give Max a special hug for me please.

Jean

 

[Adelle]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know your pain. Don't feel guilty you did the right thing, we were faced with the same decision just over a month ago and I did the same thing for the first few weeks afterwards, I felt so guilty, wondering if we had made the right decision and what if we did this differently or that. But you did the right thing for her. Just cherish all your memories and the time you had with her no matter how short it was you gave her the love and happiness she deserved.

Adelle

 

[None-removed]

Dan,

My heart is with you. I know how hard it is now. Know that you did the right thing. I lost my baby girl Dixie to Renal Failure last year, and we did try some alternate treatments before we helped her to the bridge, and if I had to do over, I wouldn't. I think that even though I had her for a while longer, I can't help but wonder if I only prolonged her suffering. When it got too much for her, we helped her to the bridge - sometimes I wish I had done it sooner, for her sake. You did what was best for her, and you did it in love. You did the right thing. She is playing at the bridge now, waiting to see you again.

Peace to you and your home.

 

[BRIDGIT]

Dan, I agree with everyone and their comments. My thoughts are with you and your family. I cannot imagin the pain you are going through now. I hope that you can come to the conclusion that you made the right decision to stop any suffering by Lexi.

 

[Krikkit]

Dan, I'm so sorry about Lexi :( In her short time here she was with people who loved her so please don't feel bad. Lexi knows that you cared about her so much you had to help her. Hugs to Max.

Sharon

 

[catcompany]

I am so sorry......I know how you feel......we just lost our baby boy on Jan 28th. We didn't want to lose him, but that is what he wanted.....It was his time to go and he had to go. Each one choses the way they want to go. Draco wanted to go on his own, whereas your baby girl needed your help----you just helped her out in the best possible way............