Should we rehome our Boxer? Pls help - long

[luvmypup]

I really need some insight and help with my situation. I am a Stay at home Mom of a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. I am also 5mths pregnant. We have a 5yo fawn boxer named Tucker, and an 11mth old deaf white boxer named Talulah. We adopted Talulah at 6wks from a Vet who was left four white boxers to put down for being white, by a boxer breeder. We of course had challenges in the beginning with her being deaf, but over came them. Talulah has always had some aggression issues, or questionable behavior. My husband has been passing this up as typical young boxer behavior, but I am beginning to fear it is more than that. I think Talulah, having left her Mother too early may have suffered some ill effects. From the very beginning Talulah showed food aggression issues - growling and hovering over her food if anyone came near her - I noticed this behavior around 8wks or so. I made a point to move her bowl away from Tucker's and pet her, hand feed her, or just sat by her while she ate. She is better now, but is still tense when she is eating with ppl around, and inhales her food. A cpl weeks ago she got ahold of one of my son's crayons and was chewing on it. My son tried to take it away from her, and she began guarding the crayon and growling at him. I told him I would get it. I reached down to pick up the crayon and she lunged at me, and snapped at me. I grabbed the crayon and stood up, and she came at me snapping. She snapped about 3 times and I was able to push her out of the room with my foot and close the door between us. I was very shaken up by it, and scared for my little ones that were playing right there on the floor. Last week, I came up the stairs to discover Talulah had one of my daughters cloth diapers on the floor of the bathroom and was chewing on it. I reached down to pick it up, forgetting my last experience with this, and the same thing happened again. She snapped at me 2 times. Yesterday I was sitting on the couch, and Talulah was on the floor awake leaning against the couch, and my daughter walked over to me, and leaned across Talulah to hand me a book, and Talulah snapped at her, and thankfully I was there to block Talulah with my arm. My daughter may have accidentally stepped on her, but this behavior again disturbed me. Today I watched from our back steps as Talulah bullied my son while trying to get a toy from him. As he turned his back to her she jumped on him knocking him to the ground, scratching his back breaking the skin through his shirt, and took the toy from him and walked away. Although Tucker went through a rough time from 1 yr to around 2 yrs, he calmed down, and has always been tolerent and loving near the kids. He has never snapped at any of us, or jumped on the children. If it was just my husband and myself I would think this situation might be more manageable, but with 2 young children, and a baby on the way, I am concerned. Does this behavior seem like a boxer puppy behavior? We have had 2 trainers work with us, however, neither had experience with deaf dogs, and most of our training was self taught using ideas from deaf dog websites. I keep telling my husband I am worried, and if it happens again we may have to rehome her, and his thought is why wait for something else to happen. Talulah is not very affectionate, and has never really been. We love her, and do not want to rehome her, but she is a powerful animal, and her recent behavior has me concerned - I would like your honest opinions. Please do not sugar coat, I need real advice from ppl that know this breed. I said after we bought Tucker that I would always have a boxer, and now I am sad to think that Talulah may not be the right fit for my young family.

 

[TwoDogs]

In all honesty, I would rehome Talulah now. When I adopted my male at 2.5 years, I discovered he had some resource guarding issues. I worked steadily and intensely and through good management, counter conditioning, and training, he rarely exhibits those behaviors anymore. But I still have to always be aware and use management measures. You have two small children and another on the way. As a stay-at-home mom, you will be Talulah's primary trainer and the one that has to deal with her behaviors most. Will you realistically be able to manage her environment every moment around your children? With two small kids and an infant, will you have the time necessary to work on counter conditioning and retraining? Can you guarantee that she will never have the opportunity to find another crayon or toy lying around? At least with my dog I knew it was only high-value food items that he would guard. It worries me that Talulah is strongly guarding non-food items and toys. It makes me wonder what she would do if one of the kids reached for a dropped hot dog that she wanted? Another thing to consider is possible liability. What if you want to have a birthday party for your kids? Or they want to invite friends over? You will always have to have environmental management measures in place with Talulah around or you will risk having visitors to your house get bitten.

I am NOT saying that dogs with severe resource guarding can't be rehabbed, nor am I saying that deaf dogs can't be good pets in families with children. But with Talulah, you are hit with a double-whammy. She is deaf--which is a challenge for any family but especially for a family with children. She is also a resource guarder which takes time and effort to manage and control--something that as a mother of three, you might not realistically be able to commit to.

I am a firm believer that if a dog truely wanted to bite a human, they would. The fact that Talulah has not actually bitten anyone yet is a positive sign. However, very soon she may escalate to the level of biting. I would arrange to surrender her to a boxer rescue while she is still young and before she has a bite history. The rescue will have the resources to place her in a foster home that has the experience, time and resources to deal with a deaf resource guarder. When she has been successfully trained and rehabbed, they will take care to place her in an appropriate home environment that is able and committed to continuing management measures and training.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[ehayes21]

I am NOT saying that dogs with severe resource guarding can't be rehabbed, nor am I saying that deaf dogs can't be good pets in families with children. But with Talulah, you are hit with a double-whammy. She is deaf--which is a challenge for any family but especially for a family with children. She is also a resource guarder which takes time and effort to manage and control--something that as a mother of three, you might not realistically be able to commit to.

THIS^.

I think she can be rehabbed, but it would be asking a lotof you given your current situation. You need a behaviorist - not a trainer - and behavior modification plans take time and $$. So I really think it comes down to how much you think you can handle and what's going to be best for Talulah in the end.

Big hugs to you - I know this has got to be a tough situation to handle.

 

[LILYLARUE]

You did a very great thing by saving her from being put down. You get a big kudos for that. You did your best in raising her and now you have to protect your family. You DID NOT FAIL! Just remember that! You did the very best you could with all the other people and responsibilities you had and with the resources that were available to you.

What many rescuers go through is the guilt if the dog just doesn't work for their family. It's ok. You have given her a great platform for another owner to work from. And it is possible that she does belong in a one-person family with every second available for training. Some dogs just require that. You are not at fault. It is difficult to recognize that when they are pups.

I guess what I am trying to say is for you not to feel guilty about having to rehome her due to her special needs and give her a new person who will be able to fulfill them. Your family comes before the dog. As much as we love them and think of them as family, they are still a step below us and have to keep that in perspective when weighing out this type of predicament.

Start to look now. Contact rescue groups that can find her the home she needs. Don't wait until you can't take it anymore. Think of yourselves as fostering her until her new home becomes available. Then maybe the load will be lightened and the pressure off of you until then. But make sure you let them know of your fears of her actions so they can help you make the right decision on the path you will be going. If they know your fears, they may find a new home or foster much sooner due to the dire need. But whatever you do, please do not take her to a shelter or humane league. All your hard, devoted work should not end up where you saved her from in the beginning.

Until you decide what you feel is necessary for your family's safety and Tallulah's future happiness, I would be very firm with NILIF training, feed her seperately, don't allow her to have any toys or anything she will guard, retrain on the drop'it command, and most of all, don't allow her to be in areas where you have the least bit of apprehension that she may react negatively around the children. If the kid's are playing, Tullullah may NOT be in the same room. If you all are cuddled on the couch in a very relaxed energy, then she may join you. But I certainly wouldn't put her in the midst of any high energy situations.

I wish you the best of luck and just know you are doing the right thing for YOU AND HER!

 

[caruse]

Cassie...I am so sorry that you even have to faced with this decision..
You are such a good boxer mom for taking the puppy and giving it a good loving home...
Unfortunately, from your post it really doesn't seem to be a good fit...you have a lot going on in your home right now...two young children and another to be coming soon a happy adjusted boxer...all good and happy things but none the less busy...the puppy's behavior now is the center of issue...I too, had a beagle at one point that was very food aggressive and hard to train...possessive about whatever he had at the time and snap at anyone that tried to intervene...it is very stressful!! My youngest at the time was 3 and the day the dog bit him on the cheek when he tried to take his toy from the dog was the day I decided it wasn't going to work....the dog was two years old and obviously wasn't going to change....It broke my heart to have to remove him from my home, but taking the chance that he would hurt one of my kids or a neighbors child was not worth it, living with the fear of that was too stressful...
Cassie, it is not fair to you, your children or your boxer to keep a puppy that may someday do some harm to any one of them.....
Again, I am so sorry, it hurts but the consequences later may not be worth it...
Good luck
Barbara

 

[Bufords Pop]

I would rehome her.. You didn't fail her- you kept her alive.. There's a perfect home out there for her, unfortunately, it's not yours.. That doesn't mean she's bad, or you failed her- not at all.. I agree about the behaviorist as opposed to a trainer- and even with that, prevention will still be a major part of the day to day life with her.. That doesn't mean she's bad- she's a dog.. I rescued a VERY aggressive boxer- he needed to be kept OUT of any situations because his first, second, third, and fourth instincts were FIGHT- he had no FLIGHT switch in him.. But he loved us- and we loved him.. Had him for 10 years until I recently had to put him down at 12 years old after cancer and multiple ACL surgeries.. We learned to prevent him from having the opportunity and he was a perfect fit and us for him.. Your situation is a little more difficult- young kids and dogs like this are probably a bad idea..

I'd start to find her a home right now- it might take awhile..

 

[Draymia]

At 11 months, Talulah can be rehabbed, but to be honest I am not sure you will be able to do it, in your situation. A lot of what she is doing, is the teenage puppy brain wanting to be the leader of the pack. But, this is not acceptable in any way. The fact that she is lunging/snapping at you and the kids is a sign of worse to come, until her little pea brain is readjusted. Some of these episodes do sound more like a puppy playing, but not the snapping! An experienced person should be able to change the attitude that Talulah has developed.

However, I would NOT keep her around your children. I would be contacting local Rescues and the veterinarian you got her from. Don't be surprised if the local Rescue does not have an opening, but if that is so, they should be able to help. Many Rescues are overwhelmed and have no room.

One thought, do you watch "Dog Whisperer" on National Geographic? He shows some great methods on solving many problems, including food/toy aggression. Something to check out.

Let us know how it goes.

 

[luvmypup]

Thank you so much for all of your replies. I wrote the post around 3 in the morning because I was up thinking about Taulah. I cannot believe this is happening to us. I just NEVER envisioned rehoming a pet - ever. We are big animal people and I just never thought I would be one of "those" people - that comment was not to offend, I just never thought I would give up on an animal. I am just so sad. I love her so much and feel so bad for her and Tucker. I hate the message rehoming an animal will send to my kids - that pets are disposable, but I am scared of her in a way. As far as other children, and famllies - during parties I have always sent her to my Mother's house, and when the children's friends come over, I lock her up in a part of the house away from the kids - I do not trust her at all alone around the children - I never have. I guess, I have to talk to my husband today. I think I may contact the Vet we got her from first and see if perhaps there is a boxer savy kid free home she may know of. I know our local boxer rescues are overflowing with boxers and are turning new dogs away because of it. Thank you so much for your advice. I had one behaviorist come several months ago, and she took a very Caesar Milan approach to behavior and training - I saw all the techniques she used on his show, and didn't agree with many. I will take your suggestions to heart. I will keep you updated. Thank you.

 

[Just-A-Clown]

In your situation I would rehome,& let them know your concerns
When a pup is not with their mother & litter at those critcal stages they do not learn many things the mother & sibling teach them
Also if you fear a bite & stress the dog will sense it & sometimes pick up & act worse
Please do not feel you failed as you have done so much for Taulah
We raised a 8 day old pup we have posts about him,he was the greatest most obedient dog,but the one thing we could not change was the aggression,our outcome was so difficult,but we knew we needed to do what was best for us,& people in our area & dearest Beau
Your family comes first,you really have full plate & perhaps someone else with more time & skills can help Taulah
Thinking of you
Cathy

 

[djheitz]

I sent a quick email to the woman who handles intake for my area. She said AABR should be able to help, but we will probably ask that you keep her until we find the right home for her. You can go to our website (www.adoptaboxerrescue.com) and look at the owner surrender info - just scroll down on the home page at it will be about a quarter of the way down on the far left.

If she hasn't been spayed yet, please try to take care of that before you hand her off, to us or anyone else. She's going to need as many items in the plus column as she can.