Please tell me it will be good someday (long)

[Emma's Mommy]

I'm sitting her crying while I write this because I'm just so sad and frustrated. I feel like we are having all of the problems with Emma that you can have, such as:
- Bad Separation Anxiety
- Crate hatred (Howling in her crate to the point that she is disturbing the neighbors even with positive crate training techniques);
- Constantly waking me up (and not to go potty, we've tried taking her out and all she does is want to walk around);
- Submission urination when people come over;
- Getting into everything (I know you're not supposed to say "no" so I distract, but that doesn't seem to work for longer than about 30 seconds, then she's right back to what she was trying to get into);
- and last but not least, while we we're just out for a walk she saw another dog that she wanted to greet and pulled me out in front of a moving car (so I'm pretty freaked out at the moment for her and me).

I searched and searched through BW and gotten great positive training advice and we are starting a training basics class in 2 weeks. What we have been doing just doesn't seem to be working with her. We feel like a really crappy dog parents because obviously we're doing something wrong. My DH plays with her incessantly, we try to reward positive behavior, but it doesn't seem to be enough.

I'm getting so upset because I feel like I'm dreading coming home (from a job that I don't exactly love) because I know it will just be another night of hell for me and DH doing Emma wrangling. I try so hard to keep in mind that she's just a puppy and she can't help it, but I'm losing hope. Giving her away IS NOT AN OPTION for us. My DH and I agree that we are in it for the long haul, no matter what.

So, I'm not sure what I'm looking for, except maybe some encouargement that it will get better with continued training and development.

Hope all of you and your babies are well,
Angela

 

[Jill's boxer]

hoping it gets better...maybe its her hearing?

sorry to hear you are having soo much trouble, I know it can be frustrating and breaking your heart right about now. one thought...have you had her hearing checked? Being that she is white, it is possible that she could be deaf--which might help explain why she does not listen and is easily distracted, also her submission urination and separation and crate anxiety? I would suggest looking into it.

 

[mrs.moopie]

Hang in there!

I'm no expert, Logan's our first Boxer. But where did you get the idea you're not supposed to say "no?" As far as I know, positive reinforcement doesn't mean you can't correct your dog. Your pup will understand commands. But if you just distract her, she'll probably think you're playing a game, and she certainly won't know she's done something wrong.

You say she's constantly waking you up. Where's she sleeping now? Try putting the crate in your living/family room, and be sure to put things that smell like you in there with her. Keeping her in the living room is good because it's a room she associates with you.

As for pulling you in front of a car, try a gentle leader, or we have a harness called a "sense-able" harness where the leash goes in front, and your pup can't pull (I think gentle leader makes a similar one.)

Obedience classes will help her, and you, so hang in there! Logan went to puppy kindergarten, and even that helped. He's just started obedience, and that's helping more. Good luck!

 

[BoxerRock]

Our Carley turned 2 on October 15th and reading your thread sent me back almost 2 years. The only difference that stands out is that I didn't work outside of the house. I honestly can't say that when it came to Carley, that was a good thing. I was a virtual prisoner of my own home. Her S.A. was so bad that our vet wanted to put her on meds. She hurt herself trying to get out of the crate. She acted like she was in a torture chamber! She was a very needy baby. We've gone through a couple of training sessions and she did okay. If you ask for specifics, I'll be more specific. What comes to mind is that we were patient and stayed calm for the most part. Today, she's the most awesome dog we've ever had. She's like our kid! (Our kids are grown and out on their own.) She still acts like a crazy nut and when we come home, whether we've been gone for 5 minutes or 5 hours, she acts like she hasn't seen us forever! I remember feeling like you do. I loved her but I felt like I'd given up so much to have her. I don't feel like that AT ALL anymore. Today, I can't imagine life without her. Stay calm and be patient. The sacrafice now doesn't compare to the reward down the road. Good luck to you. Smile!
The Rocks and Carley

 

[BoxerRock]

Another comment

Just to let you know...Carley now stays at home alone (except for our cat) uncrated since she was about 9 months old. Also...your Emma is BEAUTIFUL!
The Rocks and Carley

 

[jenjones28]

- Bad Separation Anxiety
- Crate hatred (Howling in her crate to the point that she is disturbing the neighbors even with positive crate training techniques);
- Constantly waking me up (and not to go potty, we've tried taking her out and all she does is want to walk around);
- Submission urination when people come over;
- Getting into everything (I know you're not supposed to say "no" so I distract, but that doesn't seem to work for longer than about 30 seconds, then she's right back to what she was trying to get into);
- and last but not least, while we we're just out for a walk she saw another dog that she wanted to greet and pulled me out in front of a moving car (so I'm pretty freaked out at the moment for her and me).

Try using a stuffed kong in her crate. Stuff it with yogurt or peanut butter and put little chunks of cheese, dog treats, cat food, kibble, or whatever you can think of in it and freeze it. Also try crating her for short periods while you are home. If her crate is an open, wire type crate, try draping a blanket over it. Try putting it in different areas of your home to see if she does better. Sometimes it helps if they can see you from the crate.

Maybe it's not an option you want to explore, but maybe you could have her sleep with you at night. If that's not an option, maybe put her crate by your bed.

For the submission urination, try not to make a big deal out of it when you come home. Ignore her a little bit then greet her calmly. That will help with the SA also.

For the getting into everything.... baby gates. Several of them will help. She needs to learn the word "no". Or "off". Or whatever version of that you want to teach her. Just like a kid, she needs boundaries.

For the pulling, like Samsonite said, a gentle leader easy walk harness is the coolest thing ever, IMO. Those are just my thoughts.

 

[TrooperThorn]

No immediate advice to offer, but just know that Boxerworld is the most lovign and supporting online community I have every come across & you have lost of good vibes and thought coming your way, & yes, your Emma is adorable. So sorry she is such a handful right now!

Rember, the only "bad" parents are ones who don't try & don't care. You are doing fine.

Good Luck & stay in touch!

 

[BoxerTrouble]

Sending BIG Hugs Your Way!!!

I really feel for you right now as im working through some behaviour issues with my little girl Demi, and i know exactly how frustrating and definately upsetting it is (She had me in tears two weeks ago at puppy school)

I think its the not knowing what to do in each situation that is the worst part - it makes you feel so help-less, if you are armed with the right training techniques i dont think it would be so hard? well i know its not for me after i spent three days searching high and low at the library and online reading hundreds of articles on what i was experiencing with Demi.

I would love to be able to give you suggestions but unfortunately Demi's issues are dominant behaviour issues - all i can suggest is do some reading, Everyone on boxer world will offer you HEAPS of advice, we are all here to help you and the lovely Emma through this, and try some/all of the suggested techniques, i'm sure you will find something that works for you.

HEAPS OF HUGS and KISSES

 

[Irinikm]

Martin also had some similar issues as a puppy. He was impossible to crate and still is! So we emptied up a room and left him there uncrated. He stopped howling and barking and was much better off. After a while, we started introducing some items to the room (before it only had furniture) such as carpets, rugs, pillows etc. Slowly he realised that he could roam freely around the house if he did not disturb anything, so nowadays he is completely free to walk around the house (which is crowded with things, christmas trees, santas, ornaments and more with not as much as a tiny accident. If you have a room that you can empty of the staff that he could destroy and leave some toys and blankets for her, then maybe she'll be better off if she has so many crate issues. I leave Martin alone for 8-9 hours per day and people are amazed that such a large and playful dog can stay in the house without doing the slightest mischief! I am also amazed at times when i go back and i see him walking around the house, playing with his toys or lying in the balcony!!! without having disturbed anything!

Irene, Martin, Boulou

 

[Rufust]

I too am having problems with SA with our foster dog. We've only had him for less than 3 weeks now but I am so frustated and sad that his SA is not getting better. If we can't fix it, he won't be adoptable and we all know what that means. It is very hard to watch him shake and drool excessively in the crate and not know how to help him. I think everyone else has given you great advice on some of the other issues and I wish you the best of luck with your baby.