Physical punishmet

[MoxyRoxy]

Everyone Hugs Kisses and remaining Calm is the best thing in the world.
Cami, good for you! You have impeccable self control. Just to note, I've never ever abused any living thing. I love ALL my animals more than people. And yes, removing what is enjoyable works. Everyday we all grow and develop in all of our relationships.
Tricia, thank you for being empathetic and understanding.
Stuart, good luck to you! You will find by "listening" to you boxer the two of you will form a positive line of communication.

 

[Emmasparents]

Your puppy is at the age where it will start pulling on its leash. I recommend the "gentle leader". Emma is very difficult to walk on any other leash but she is a "model" of decorum on the gentle leader. As long as it is fit properly. Also, remember your puppy will, every now and then, try to struggle out of the leader but those that struggle the most need it the most.

On the point of physical discipline, it doesn't work. Every now and then Emma frustrates me and I do grab her by her neck but she just gives me this look, "who me? what did I do?

That's where I break down.

Lots of luck

 

[RVsBoxer]

Not good

Wow thank you for the article Dan, it was very informative! Stuart I know how you feel about being frustrated, because Wilson is the same age and boy can he be a handful! He is a big, strong puller, even with a sporn harness (supposed to deter pulling) but it's because he gets so excited about things and wants to get to them, fast. Bless his heart

Like everyone else says, physical punishment is pointless and only makes things worse, and makes you feel terrible too! I feel so disappointed in myself if I lose my temper with Wilson. Even when it's a really fake, I'm-getting-so-frustrated "come on sweetie!".
Last week before going home from Wilson's grocery-and-treats shopping, I stopped by carribou coffee to get some, er, coffee and instead of doing the smart thing of letting Wilson do his business, bringing him upstairs and then going back down to get the stuff and the coffee, I decided to be lazy and juggle everything at once. Well, like I said, Wilson gets VERY excited when he sees people and especially when he sees dogs. This is a good thing of course, he has never been frightened by anybody and he just loves everyone! Well after he did his business I bent over to pick it up with my right hand (with doggie bag of course!) while I had my left arm around my coffee (real dumb I know) and my grocery bags in my left hand. Then this guy walks by, he wasn't even very close but no matter - Wilson went nuts and of course tried to go say hi. I didn't see the guy and so had no warning, and no way of stopping all the coffee from spilling everywhere, mostly on my nice, soft, CLEAN, WHITE sweater!! Just before I had to go to class, too!! Well I just lost it, I am sorry to say :( I yanked hard at Wilson a couple times to pull him back, and not so nicely told him to sit. I was so mad =/ Poor Wilson didn't have a clue at all, and I could tell I hurt his feelings. It was completely my fault and I had taken it out on him :( I felt like such an idiot afterwards.

Anyway the point I am trying to make is that we are all human, we all get frustrated and lose it sometimes. And supposedly small punishments like grabbing the back of the pups neck are tempting, and excuses like "their mother does that and it's no big deal" are even more tempting. But they're just a bunch of bull, and there really is NO excuse for these things. There is no excuse for using any kind of physical punishment ever, and we all need to work on never losing our temper on our babies. We also need to realise that sometimes we expect too much from our pups, too fast. Wilson is only 4 1/2 months old, and working on heeling and "no pulling" when there is a dog in the distance is obviously not going to be very productive at all! Gotta start off with little to no distractions first, and then work your way up.
Wilson's sweet Boxer nature and huge love for everyone means I have a lot to work on, but I know I'll get there eventually! Hopefully once he's a year old and has calmed down a bit :p Haha yeah right, being a Boxer he'll probably calm down by the time he's 3, if I'm lucky :D

Aren't we extremely lucky to have such sweet, forgiving babies who still love us despite our annoying human faults????

:::leaves computer and goes disturb Wilson in his sleep to give him a big kiss on his cone head:::

 

[SOBE]

Don't be so hard on yourself. We are only human, substandard, after all.
My two boxers have vomited brown concoctions onto my very light colored rug, and I have never even though of anything but feeling bad for them, ie, why are they sick, what did I let them get into, etc. (good stain cleaning products are wonderful!) They can jump all over me when I get home from work, and when I say enough is enough, they stop.
However, when my then 10 month old Boxer decided to "play" chew on my 3 year old niece's arm, and would not "leave it", I slapped her on her rumpus so hard my hand hurt. I never felt so horrible in all my life. She never "play" chewed on my niece's arm again (which she had been doing and not heading the "leave it" command).
I now work with both my Boxers to "come" and "leave it" , as well as "stay" on a constant and viligant basis.... it helps a lot. And I'm sorry, Abby, I'll never hit your rump again, promise.

 

[Taliesyn88]

How About Mental Punishment????

I am not disagreeing here, but, as in humans and dogs, I think that mental punishment is worse than anything physical. I was always put down as a child, and lived under very strict rules, and it has affected me as an adult. As far as animals, physical punishment only makes them frightened of you, and then they will bolt or pee all over the carpet, running in fear. But, nobody has mentioned the mental part--hollering. Hollering and screaming has really disabled my poor boxers. My fiancee, not a dog person, has a loud, gruff voice, and screams at the animals for nothing. They try to come up and see him, and he will say "Get out of Here!!!" and the poor things saunter off. When my fiancee gets angry, the animals run up to my bedroom and hide. This has caused severe strains in our relationship, to the point of almost a break-up. My dogs are my children, and I cannot handle the constant yelling at them for no reason. While "David" has gotten better, I still get on him to quit screaming at the animals. When one of my babies does something bad, I grab their attention, and change my tone of voice, and will say "bad" or "no." But, they are not frightened of me, and, are in fact some of the best behaved boxers around. I do not know how to resolve the screaming issue, except for mabye kicking "DAvid" out. "David" is a cat person, and while I am not, I have found out that now the cats like me better than him!!!! I do not care what anybody says, your tone of voice, and how you use it, can either make a great dog, or turn him into a frightened creature. I accomodate my dogs by giving them all the love I can give them, and since "David" works 15 hour shifts now, it makes their lives more bearable.

Now, I know that everybody out there say they live in ideal households, but I know that is far from true. I have seen people holler at their children, and at their animals. I do not know why they do this, except mabye that they were abused as children. I know that "David" has had a hard life, and that it is very hard to change old habits. But, the hollering and screaming is getting intolerable for all of us, and a change will have to be made soon or else.

Oh, by the way, do not think that I just stand by and let "David" yell at my animals. I really get on him, and, will take the animals' sides every time. "DAvid" is beginning to realize that he just cannot go around doing anything he pleases, and that he has to share the house with my animals, or find a new home himself!!!!!

 

[curb_pks]

If I ever get really hot and aggravated I put Gracie in her crate and relax. Like Dan said, she won't do anything that gets her isolated. It works real well.

No hitting, grabbing, yelling... to me that means the owner is the one who needs to be cratedat that point.

 

[basak]

Defying!!!! Boy, me and Krose know that word so well because Krose is very good at that. He is a sweet sweet boy but he has this little devil inside of him coming out every few months, testing me... testing... I have to be very careful :rolleyes:

I would not do anything physical to any living creature that don't want to be done to me.


Ok, does that make sense? That was kind of a hard sentence for me:rolleyes:

basak

 

[Shanz]

well i would say physical punishment does nothing except makethe dog fear you.

I had Cinnamon at my bfs house to meet his 2 rottis when she was about 10 or 11 weeks old..i had only had her for about 2 weeks. They have this kleenex holder that has a stuffed koala on it. My bfs dogs knocked it off the coffee table and Cinnamon ran to it and picked it up ( it had a stuffed bear on it... she has a stuffed bear.. see the connection) Before I even realized what had happened, my bfs dad had the kleenex box out of Cinnamons mouth and hit her with it then chased her. She of course ran to me and hid between my legs cuz shes my sucky baby. It took all the self control i had not to scream at him to never touch my dog again. Needless to say, she didnt go near him again, every time he tried to go to her shed run and she hasnt been back there since. So i say that physical punishment leads to fear...and if your dog is a fear biter..it could lead to much worse.

 

[brwneyesk8]

Taliesyn, I understand your point but think that the yelling, hollering and all that is JUST as bad as physical punishment. What the folks here are talking about is a firm and steady, controlled command. Not Yelling or even too much of a raised voice.

Anyone who treats a child or dog or any living thing in that way really has some issues to deal with. I'm sorry for you that you had a rough go of it growing up. You should not have had to deal with that. It's good to see that you know it's wrong and that you are willing to stop that sort of behavior. Kudos to you!!!!

Your fiance, not being a dog person, will for a long time have problems with your dogs. I admire you for trying to keep things together and to 'train' him in how he needs to act towards your dogs. If he keeps it up, honey....walk away. I mean no disrespect there. None of us claim to live in an ideal household. That's a whole other thread!!! LOL Good luck with everything and thanks for protecting your pups!!! We need lots more owners like us here on BW that'll do anything to keep their pups safe!!! That goes back to the topic at hand......punishment is not right. reward systems just work better.

 

[Taliesyn88]

Dear Brwneyesk8,

Thanks for the support. Sometimes I could really use it. Yes, there is a difference with a stern voice and screaming. My voice is very loud, and some people may think it is screaming, when actually it is not. My animals are not afraid of me, though, big mouth or not. They are my children, and since I am childless, I protect them like my babies. David has had a harsh life, his sister told me his father used to get drunk and beat David all of the time, and as a teenager and young adult David would always get in trouble. He also is an alcoholic. Now, I know it would be easy to walk away, and, I would do it, but, I am the breadwinner and he lives with ME. Since I am a pharmacist, and have been kicked around and abused all of my life, I can relate to the pain that David is feeling. He cannot confront people, so he takes his anger out on me and the animals. I can throw things right back at him, but the animals are helpless and cannot. David and I have lived together for 8 rough years, but, things have gotten better. I feel the worst for the 2 older boxers, Rusty and Casey, who got most of the brunt of his anger. Rusty and I lived alone for 2 years before David came along, and there is a real problem there. Both are jealous of each other, and that increases the problems. It hurts me so bad because Rusty is such a gentle and loving creature, and would not hurt a fly. Casey was abused when I got her, and she still has major problems, with men in general. I try to understand David's side, too, and do great keeping everything under control. When David yells at any animal, I really jump down on him, and avoid him for several days. My animals are my life, and nothing will separate me from them. Anybody that hurts any of my dogs will have a severe price to pay. I make up for the yelling by giving my dogs everything, and as much love as they can stand.

By the way, David sleeps downstairs on the couch, while all the boxers and cats sleep upstairs with me on the bed!!!!!