Need some help at this time of year

[Austin's Mom]

Paula please, please go and talk to a professional. What you have had to endure in your short life just sucks. I couldn't imagine losing one of my kids. That's an awful thing to have to bear. It should happen to no parent.

 

[paula carter]

Depression is a hard burden. Are you on any medications? You need help. Trust me your life is not as dark as it seems. I could out list your misfortunes and there were days when I thought I had nothing to live for, no luck if it wasn't bad luck.

I am on medication. Zoloft works well but it was a time finding the right one. The thing with negative thoughts is they grow and overwelm and spiral you down. All you can focus is on the negative but there are positives in your life now and in your past. Depression does not allow you to see them.
My advise is take it one day at a time.
Focus on the moment. Not tomorrow not yesterday.
Two sayings I hold on to:
"This too shall pass"
"God does not give you more than you can handle."

There are many people worse than you and many better but only one you so take care of yourself! Stop the negative talk. Stop the why me.

Trust me I have walked in your shoes. It is not easy and can be down right painful just exsisting but you can do it. You are strong or you wouldn't still be here.

Hello i had to say this i'm sorry but you go on like it's so easy You might have done and forgive me if you have but have you ever lost a child someone who you were so close to for 9 years the most important thing in your life to have him there fit and healthy and just gone like that this is the worst pain ever loads of people have said that no other pain will touch this you say you had worsrt well i'm very sorry but if you havn't lost a child you don't know nothing.

 

[Maniago]

There are many people worse than you and many better but only one you so take care of yourself! Stop the negative talk. Stop the why me.

What a cruel thing to say to someone who has lost a child.

Paula,
I can't even imagine how hard this time of the year must be for you. A parent should never have to go through this. You are in our thoughts and prayers. If you ever want to just chat, I'm online most of the time.

 

[MyGirlHeidi]

I honestly don't have any advice for you..I can't fathom the pain of losing a child. My heart hurts for you and your family. Maybe in time your pain will ease and the loving memories of your son will remain. Maybe there is a support group you could attend especially during these holiday times. Take care of yourself, you are in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[Scrapper's Mom]

... this is the worst pain ever loads of people have said that no other pain will touch this you say you had worsrt well i'm very sorry but if you havn't lost a child you don't know nothing.

Paula, my heart breaks for you. I wish I could just give you a big hug and hold you. No mother (or father, for that matter) should have to have their heart ripped out this way...

 

[haleyandmark]

Paula, I cannot imagine the pain that you are going through. You have done absolutely nothing wrong! Don't blame yourself!

I am at a loss of words for you, but I just want you to know that our thoughts and prayers will be with you throughout this holiday season and so on.

We will be keeping you in our hearts,
Mark, Haley & Asia

 

[marciafinn]

Paula I wish i had words to say to help you during through this. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. My thoughts are with you and I am sending positive vibes to you for things to turn around for you.

 

[lexintitus]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm not sure if you've already mentioned this, but do you have immediate family members near you? Will you be able to spend Christmas with them? I'm not saying that's going to make it any easier but maybe just to have someone sit with you and hold your hand. My cousin just passed away in November, unexpectantly. He was 24, a year younger than me and he left a family behind. I think it helped my aunt to talk about the good and funny things that he used to do. The hurt was still there but there were times when she was able to smile and chuckle remembering some of the good times.

 

[Cami]

I do not have a child so I can not understand what you are going thru. I can only imagine that you have lost someone that you loved with all of your heart and soul and that a part of you feels as if it is missing.

I pray that you can eventually find some peace and are able to start healing. I know that it will take time and we all mourn differently. Your path seems like one that has been severly tested. I believe that God never gives us more than we can handle and he has to know that you are quite strong to have been given so many obstacles to overcome.

Right now the most important thing that you can do in honor of your son is to make sure that you get healthy. He would want that for you. He loved you in ways that you can't even fathom. You are his mom, and now he is watching over you and he needs to see that you are a survivor and will continue on no matter how hard it is.

You can't heal mentally/physically without making a conscience effort to do so. You need to focus all of your energy on getting well. Take advantage if others offer help to you. I don't know the specifics of your family life but I do know that right now is the time to connect. Share your grief and in doing so you might find that being a comfort to others will also help you in being comforted.

It makes me so sad to think that you will have to spend a holiday without your son, sad thinking that anyone has to spend any holiday minus a loved one. I know that it helps me to include my mom who I lost at age 12 in my thoughts during holidays. I wish her happy b-day, merry christmas, etc....I offer up a smile and kinds words and I feel her presence and I get thru the day.

I hope that your health improves and I hope that you can find peace for your heart.
With Prayers,
Susi & Cami

 

[xenaprincess]

Paula, I have been thinking about you this past week even before I saw this thread! I remember when you posted about the loss of your son, and when I hear people lately complaining about the Holidays...having guests...having to cook...family members who feud...no money to buy gifts...etc., I am reminded of how much society lacks the real meaning of the season, and I am also reminded that there are so many more who are less fortunate. I wish I could spend the Holidays with you myself, just so I can give you the shoulder you need...a friend. I could NEVER imagine the pain you must be feeling.
Do you have any support at all...friends, family or community? You need to be able to express these feelings...cry, talk. You know that you can always turn to us here at BW and I know I can speak for all here...we all wish we can be with you for the Holidays to help you through this very difficult time. Please feel free to pm me anytime for anything. How about a minister or priest, etc., to help you through the grief process? I'm so tearing up right now I wish I could give you a big ole (((HUG)))!
Always remember one thing...If God brings you to it...He will bring you through it. Hang in there sweetie. We will all help you get through this as best we can.