My husband and I are separating - I need my old friends!

[elbykitty]

I am so sorry and I just recently ended a 13 year relationship 3 months ago so I can relate. We were just opposites but it was really hard because I had to end it and he wasn't accepting it. It has been 3 months and I can't say I don't have any doubts about my decision. But the good news is that when you aren't spending so much time trying to make the impossible work you can spend that energy on yourself. I keep myself busy with exercise, not dating, and working on me. Knowing all that it still can be hard because I still miss the idea of the relationship and the world seems easier to take when you have a partner in crime. I hope you feel better soon and as much as our hearts protest sometimes it is good to let out heads make some of our decisions too. Good Luck

 

[marciafinn]

Ending any relationship is always hard...even if you know it before hand. My last relationship, although we weren't married, ended badly. I still think if I had ended things sooner and not allowed him to talk me into "trying one more time" the few times I had tried to end it before I finally did things might have been better.

Keeping you in my thoughts. (((hugs)))

 

[kelseighgirl]

I am so very sorry for this difficult time you are going through. I can honestly say that I do envy you for having the courage to take that very scary step forward to end something that probably needed to be ended sooner. I am in a similar situation and I am scared to make that decision. At times I feel that my husband and I would be much happier in our lives if we just went our seperate ways. Other times I keep telling myself that if we just hang in there things will get better. I do love him and the being single again thing scares the hell out of me, but the unhappiness that we both feel isnt doing us any good. We do have fun times together and I do enjoy his company, but the first sign of any crisis in our marriage and he shuts down and blames me for all of our problems. I wish I had some advise for you but as you can see, I cant even figure this one out for myself.

Take care of yourself!!!!
Hugs to you.

 

[Cookiepie]

Brandi, I'm in the same situation. It's unbelievable why we can't figure things out when we DO love each other. But even though we try and want to be like one we are two different human beings and sometimes people just grow in different directions no matter what. Sorry I'm not able to give any advice.
I wish you will feel better sooner than later,

 

[rog1006]

I just wanted to chime in to you ladies and say that we're here for you. It takes a lot to get out of a bad situation and I know that it's impossible to even think about prior to it happening, but once you're through it, it's like an incredible weight is off your shoulders. I was in a crappy relationship for two years until I realized it and then it took me forever to end it. It was like I just needed to get out of my own way and once I did, you can't imagine the freedom. Now I'm with an amazing guy and our relationship is easy and wonderful...I didn't know it could be this way. (hugs)

Robin, I was thinking about you the other day.....how are you doing, sweetie??

-christine

 

[kelseighgirl]

Hi Christine,

I am doing well, thanks for asking. I have been thinking about you as well and sending you good vibes.
How are Julia and Trent???

 

[mancin]

This sounds very familiar. I'm in the middle of a divorce right now. It's not much fun and there are some days I question it. I was with my husband for 3 1/2 years and together for 6 total. It's definitely not an easy thing. We both still care about each other - but together we are a total mess. *hugs*

 

[Louise501]

We both still care about each other - but together we are a total mess.

I think that situation is the hardest to deal with, when your husband or wife betrays you, your anger and hurt can carry you along for a long time. Actually realizing that you are just no good together but still care deeply about the other person takes a lot of strength and hurts terribly :(

 

[koaboy04]

I'm sending you hugs(((((lovicon))))) I know how hard this can be & how emotionally draining. My first marriage was horrible & I stayed in it for 11 yrs, when the divorce was final (a year later) I cried for about 5 minutes. I don't know if it was out of relief, or because I knew it was the "end" of that part of my life. I will be thinking about you & I hope that everything will go well, just know that there are people here, that will give you lots of support!

 

[punchinella]

I just wanted to say, that I also am having a hard time right now with my marriage. My husband and I love each other dearly, but we seem to have drifted apart. I understand fully the pain you are in, and can't really offer you any advice, but wanted you to know you're not alone.

Jen