My heart is breaking

[l8krgirl08]

Along with my husband, I had to make the hardest decision of my life yesterday, to look for another home for Bugzy. Unfortunately Saturday Bugzy attempted to bite a small boy at my sons baseball game. He was laying on the ground by my husbands chair and the boy rode by on a scooter and Bugzy lunged at him and grazed his arm with his teeth. Thank God he didn't break the skin but the boy and his parents freaked out as did we. This is not the first time he has went after people, especially children and I just can't in good conscience keep him any longer. We have had him since he was 6 weeks and he is wonderful with the people he knows but strangers, especially kids he shows extreme aggression towards and I am terrified he will seriously hurt someone some day. Please don't judge me and think I am taking the easy way out because this is far from easy. My heart and the hearts of my children are broken and I can't stop crying. I love this dog so much and consider him part of our family but I can't and will not keep a dog I can't trust. I considered looking into a behaviorist but even if we did that I know in my heart I would always be wondering what if and will he bite someone. I never take him anywhere and did this particular day because I wanted to try and slowly get him used to being around strangers. I know this was my fault because I put him in this situation and I regret it but as I said before this is not the first incident and he goes after people completely unprovoked. I don't understand why he is this way. He has only been treated with love and kindness and is a sweetheart with us and our friends. I have filled out a surrender request for Boxer Rescue L.A. hoping maybe they can find someone who has no children or is not constantly around children as we are. The last thing I want is to place the burden of my aggressive dog onto someone else but I don't know what else to do. I will pay for his upkeap until he is placed if they take him. I want him to be in a home where he will be loved and cared for as he his in our home. I am hoping there is someone out there who is willing and able to take on the challenge of correcting his behavior and can give him the life he deserves. If anyone can help me please respond.

 

[tesster]

It sounds like you do know what else to do. Hire a professional behaviorist to come in and teach you why he is like this and how to deal with it. Equally, learn to manage him better. Would you leave a countersurfer alone in a room with steak on the table? No. So, why would you take a dog that is known to be aggressive towards kids to a park?

The only reason you don't trust him is because you put him in a situation, knowing that he might not react well and you're acting shocked that he didn't.

You will very likely have to deal with this one way or another. I would not be surprised if the boxer rescue turns him down due to his bite history. I hope they don't, but some of them cannot risk the legal liability.

Why not give him a chance at life by getting a professional to assess him at a minimum and make a recommendation? Additionally, I would start studying dog behavior and find out why he "goes after people unprovoked." Very few, if any incidents happen over nothing. We just don't understand what it is.

Best of luck with whatever you decide. I know that you're doing what you think is best. Just give yourself other options. They are there.

 

[hanley]

I don't see this as aggression, mostly fear. Had I been sitting there, the scooter would have startled me too & I may have lunged. That was no place to take a dog with his history. Please rethink your decision, but if you can't cope with your dog , finding him an experienced dog owner is the best thing you can do for him. Hanley

 

[SandyHG55654]

How old is he? I don't mean this to sound harsh it's not my intention at all and please don't take this the wrong way but when I got my dogs I got them for life. I have kids and if one of mine bit I would probable freak but I would do every thing in my power to fix it. My dogs are just as much my babies as the ones I gave birth to. I see it like this :How much is it going to cost in the long run for his upkeep if he isn't rehomed in a month or two? Probably enough to get a behaviorist and some training he needs to possibly fix or help the problem immensely. I know BRLA has dogs in their care that are dog or child agressive because we were looking there last November before we found Dozer. Do you know there are still some dogs on their site waiting for homes since then? I don't know if they foster them out during the waiting period or offer them any kind of behavioral training while they wait but the thought of surendering a dog I loved only to see him wait in a kennel for months wouldn't sit right with me and won't help his problem. I would ask them to refer you to a behaviorist for an evaluation so you could work on the problem first. The part that confuses me is if you know he had the problem why take him to a baseball game with kids around? I would work on taking him places around people so he gets used to them at a distance walks etc.. I hope you think it all through before the big decision. Good luck

 

[l8krgirl08]

I already acknowledged that taking him to the park was wrong. I was trying to bring him out in public to get him used to people and thought we had him contained away from everyone else when this kid came out of nowhere from behind where we were sitting. It all happened so fast. As I already stated this has happened before; at our home when we were gone(my mother in law answered the front door and he ran out after a kid), he jumped on my husbands friend and scratched his cheek and tore his shirt, and there have been other times. It wasn't just from being startled. I know that this is my fault and I'm not trying to say otherwise. What I don't understand is why he is like this. My friend has his sister and she has the most docile temperament. He has never been mistreated in anyway or had any issues with kids. I want to try and find out what is wrong and how to fix it. My husband unfortunately has never felt the same affection for him as I do and feels he will never be trustworthy and wants to be rid of him. He is terrified he will do something terrible someday. I understand why he feels this way but I love him and want to try and fix the problem. Money is not the issue. I could never live with myself if Bugzy were to ever harm someone. I also feel as if he is family and that I made a commitment to him when I bought him to always be his mom and that's what I want to do. I'm just really struggling with a lot of emotions and what to do as well as dealing with a husband and children who feel differently than I.

 

[SandyHG55654]

Well it seems the real issue is within your family then and not so much the dog. If he is feeling like your husband doesn't like him and never has he may have trust issues with other people brought on by that. I know it's a very emotional time for a family to give up a loved pet but if you are the only one concerned here it may be best he ends up somewhere else after all. If everyone in the house isn't willing to find a behaviorist and work it out together you may have no other choice. I hope you make a decision soon so he can hopefully get the help he needs. Good luck.

 

[Claudia807]

Purchasing him at six weeks may have contributed to the problem. I have seen issues with dogs purchased at this age. I remember one in particular that we took into our rescue who had issues with children (she had not bitten, however). She just didn't have proper bite inhibition and impulse control, as is often the case with pups that leave the litter too soon.

Maybe this has nothing to do with it, but maybe it does. Who knows.

I think it's helpful that you posted, though. Maybe someone out there is thinking of bringing home a young puppy. Maybe your post will cause them to try just a little bit harder to socialize the heck out of the dog, take a million classes, and do whatever they can do to end up with a well-socialized, well-trained adult dog in the end.

The problem with surrendering Bugzy is that there is no home on the planet, anywhere, where a dog will never, ever have contact with kids, strangers, etc. And think of it this way, if the rescue agrees to take your dog, they will have to offer full disclosure to anyone inquiring about him. Imagine seeing him sitting on their web site with the disclosure that he lunges at children and dislikes strangers to the point of possibly harming them. Who will want him? That's the tough part for rescues, too.

 

[Louise501]

I agree with Julie, maybe you are giving up a little too quickly, I know if he were mine I think I'd even keep him away from other people if that is what I had to do to keep him

 

[ladyluck_t]

The problem with surrendering Bugzy is that there is no home on the planet, anywhere, where a dog will never, ever have contact with kids, strangers, etc. And think of it this way, if the rescue agrees to take your dog, they will have to offer full disclosure to anyone inquiring about him. Imagine seeing him sitting on their web site with the disclosure that he lunges at children and dislikes strangers to the point of possibly harming them. Who will want him? That's the tough part for rescues, too.

Ok, I thought over whether I was going to post or not, I hate to bear bad news but felt that you may be interested in a rescuer's point of view. And everything I am going to say is based on what I would do if you called MY rescue, it may not necessarily apply to you.

Actually, I thought you might be the lady I talked with recently she is having the same problem only more severe. But anyhow, I told this lady that finding a home that had no children, no other pets, no whatever and fully trained and capable to handle such a dog is next to impossible.

People who can handle this kind of issue know what they are "in for" and will not adopt one or may have 2-3 already and cant adopt. In addition, adopting a dog out like this assuming you tell the person still carries a high liability for the rescue. And if they dont tell the adopter it carries criminal charges.

Both things are very serious issues with a rescue and I know for a fact that our rescue will err on the side of caution. A rescue can not only be put out of business but the officers can be sued. And many (like myself) could loose our "paying" jobs over this kind of ethical issue. So if it comes down to euthanizing a dog or losing my job. I am going to the vet.

I know it sounds pretty cruel and mercenary, but it is a sad reality in life.

Now in your defense though, once a person has lost trust in a dog.....no matter how many behaviorists, trainers, rescue people, or friends off the street tell that person a situation is fixable....once that trust is gone, it is next to impossible to change the owners mind. Yes there probably were signs before the trust was gone that went unnoticed, yes there possibly was a chance to correct this and MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE. But you are an owner not a behaviorist and in all honesty most likely missed these signs like everyone else in your situation might have.

It is nothing against you...I lost my first foster to aggression, our rescue kept him for 6 mo's before we had to make the decision. Mainly because I didnt know what to look for, and the 2nd one I lost was because I didnt want to believe. The 2nd one didnt loose my trust until he attacked my 4mo's old puppy. I didnt want to believe until then. But he lost my trust at that point.
But personally, I believe once that trust is gone for whatever reason, there really isnt much that can be done.

I didnt want to remove all hope from you, but to let you know that your boy has very limited options and also to let everyone else know how important trusting your dog is. In my opinion, you are doing the very best for him at this time. And hopefully the rescue will do what is best for him too. It is a very hard thing to do, to decide that you can not handle a situation. But at least you didnt just "tie him up" in the back yard and leave him to a fate that is much worse than death. You are being responsible.

I strongly encourage that before you get another dog, go through the Book Forum here and check out some of the books listed, read them. It may help you to understand how to recognize the signs and correct before that fragile trust is lost.

My prayers go out to you, your family and to your boy.

 

[l8krgirl08]

Wow Carolyn thank you for your kind words. I do believe I am at fault here on so many levels. This is the last thing I want to do. I am so torn. I am battling a husband who says he is a "liability" and with my heart who says he's "my baby". No one here has said anything I haven't thought it just seems harsh when you're reading it knowing that this isn't what you want to do. I appreciate your opinion as well as everyone else who has posted even if it's not what I want to hear.