boxerwings
Boxer Pal
On 6/10 I had to take my beautiful Holly to be put down. She was a gorgeous 41/2 year old brindle. She was healthy as a horse as far as we knew until really April of '06. We had her seen at a local vet and then were referred to a teaching hospital. The long and short of it was that Holly had a very very agressive aplastic meningioma. The mass was retrobulbar (behind the left eye). As if the CA wasn't bad enough, the hospital (which I will not name for fear of monitor disapproval) botched giving us her results in a timely manner, along with many many other negligent things. After 5 weeks from her biopsy, she had her left eye and some of the tumor removed. They could not get all of it, and in fact found another tumor in her bladder. Whether that tumor was metastatic disease or another primary was a moot point. The mass behind her eye was just so so aggressive. I didn't have her home 2 days from the surgery and it already made her cry to yawn as the tumor was invading her jaw. After not even 3 weeks, and her ability to open her mouth getting smaller and smaller. Though I switched to soft food, sometimes chewing the pills I hid in that food made her scream (I guess if she chewed it on the affected side way in the back). On the 10th, I couldn't get any food into her. Tried to even force the pill to at least get rid of some pain for her, but made her scream in my attempt to open her mouth. She ran from me and hid, I just sobbed. I had to take her to an emergency vet that day for the euthanasia. Even that was so hard as I was alone and sobbing, and they looking at this dog who for the most looked great, looked at me at first as someone who just wanted to kill their dog for no reason. Then I had to go into the whole story. It was horrible, she didn't look sick. Vet came in to look at her and I begged him not to open her mouth too much as she would scream, but he just moved her jowls aside and could tell how bad the swelling was. They did offer me injectable pain meds, but I declined. Would have gorked her out more, wouldn't have improved eating situation. I sobbed over her as they gave her the injections. She was my best friend. Went everywhere with me. I am so mad that I was cheated from having her with me I could scream. So young and then this went so fast. The day I put her down was exactly 10 months to the day I lost my dad to CA. In that 10 months I have lost my dad, my cousin, my sister in law and now finally Holly all with CA, and in 10 months. I am just so bitter. Had to fight then too with teaching hospital too while all this is going on. They totally admitted they were negligent, but it took me many many email, calls, etc to get them finally this weekend to tell me that they were going to reimburse me the approx $3500 I gave them to help my dog. Now have really leary faith in vets right now. Had I not been an RN and have a background in working in pathology, I may not have ever recognized how badly a job they did with her. It is sad. Now she is gone. I am trying to move on. I have already adopted another boxer. A girl named Amy. She is not as beautiful as Holly was, but she is cute. It is a shock again to have a puppy after having Holly be the "perfect dog" these last 3 years. But though she was so so good these last three, this new puppy is reminding me that Holly was a devil too as a baby 
- I even have a puppy pic of her that I used a sharpy pen on to draw horns and a pitch fork on she was so bad. Well, I have another imp. She can be an angel for long stretches and then look out, devil time. nipping, chewing, digging holes, etc.......just puppy. It does help me some having her, I'm so busy with her, I can't totally focus on not having Holly. I tell her she has huge shoes to fill, but I have confidence in her. She is smart. Learned the doggie door,and steps within 4 days of coming home (at 9 weeks), and now at 10 weeks, is learning sit and down very well. I just have told her I only demand of her she stay with me at LEAST 10 years. She hasn't said no. I hope the Cancer and Heart disease with boxers give me a break this tiime. (I lost our first boxer, Bonnie to Heart disease, so far both of my boxers have been the poster dogs for "what boxers die of") Maybe three times is a charm? I sure hope so. I know my Holly is pain free now. I would never have let her suffer, but God I wish I understood why. I miss her so so so much. My big beautiful, smart, funny, loving, loyal best friend. I'll love you forever.
- I even have a puppy pic of her that I used a sharpy pen on to draw horns and a pitch fork on she was so bad. Well, I have another imp. She can be an angel for long stretches and then look out, devil time. nipping, chewing, digging holes, etc.......just puppy. It does help me some having her, I'm so busy with her, I can't totally focus on not having Holly. I tell her she has huge shoes to fill, but I have confidence in her. She is smart. Learned the doggie door,and steps within 4 days of coming home (at 9 weeks), and now at 10 weeks, is learning sit and down very well. I just have told her I only demand of her she stay with me at LEAST 10 years. She hasn't said no. I hope the Cancer and Heart disease with boxers give me a break this tiime. (I lost our first boxer, Bonnie to Heart disease, so far both of my boxers have been the poster dogs for "what boxers die of") Maybe three times is a charm? I sure hope so. I know my Holly is pain free now. I would never have let her suffer, but God I wish I understood why. I miss her so so so much. My big beautiful, smart, funny, loving, loyal best friend. I'll love you forever.
Holly ~ Cathy
