I know it hurts....
Vicky,
Ask yourself a few questions. Have you given Rocky all the love a pup could ever want?? YES, you have. Are you doing everything you possibly can to help Rocky?? YES, you are! Has he had a GREAT life?? YES, he has and he LOVES you so much for giving him all those things!!
I know that doesn’t help, but think about that instead of dwelling on a diagnosis. You are doing everything you can. Yes, it hurts like HELL, and you think it will never stop. But it will get better. I agree with Donna, think of this as a gift. I know you don’t want to lose him, but you know that his days are limited and you can spend those days living and loving like you never have before!
I did the same thing after Ginger’s diagnosis. I did not want to leave the house, I cried all the time, and tortured myself thinking of when that time would come. I even found myself resenting people that had healthy dogs. I felt like my heart had been ripped away from me… then one day I realized that I was doing everything I possibly could to help her, and that death was just part of it. I made a promise to Ginger that we would fight her cancer together, for as long as she wanted to. When she was ready to stop fighting it, I’d let her stop. She let me know when she was ready to stop fighting, and I was at peace with that. But until that time came, I tried my best not to think about the cancer, but about the things I was doing for her. It is harder, I think, when there is a tumor you can see… when they can’t jump into and out of bed, or go up and down steps because of a bum leg. But in time, we agreed that that was just the way it was going to be for a while. She needed my help and she got it.
People deal with things differently and at their own pace. And Vicky, don’t be afraid to seek help for yourself. I DID!! I was struggling so badly, I went to my doctor, told him that my dog (my BABY) had cancer and I was having trouble dealing with it. I told him I didn’t want anything I had to take forever or everyday, but something I could take when I needed it, and something to help me sleep. There is NOTHING wrong with asking for help! (Please don’t be offended by me saying that, I’m not implying anything, just a suggestion.) It helped me.
But remember that you are doing everything you are able to do for Rocky. I know if you could take his cancer away, you would…. But unfortunately, you can’t. Enjoy these times, remember the life he has lived and continues to live. And take lots of pictures!!! Look at pictures of him and laugh, think of the good times! And don’t forget about Tobey!
Vicky, as always, we are with you! With BIG HUGS!!!!
