Jealousy of baby causing me to lose my babies

[robmoore]

My wife and I have a baby who joined our family (2 boxers, 2 cats) 11 months ago who is the joy of our life now. Unfortunately, that means that Perry and Jordan, our two boxers who were used to most of the attention, are playing second fiddle now. Not sure if this is the cause or not, but have had several in-house fights over food over the past few weeks that we can't in good conscience allow to continue to happen as it risk our baby's safety. Both dogs are crate trained from when we got them 3 years ago and are extremely loving, but have always needed to eat dinner and breakfast in their cubes so they didn't fight over their food.

They hadn't fought over treats or anything other than an occasional squirrel they would catch in the backyard until the past week or so when they had two fights over food they were either being given, or were finding on the floor that the baby had dropped.

I am in the Atlanta area and really do not have any other choice than to give them to a caring home that will take both of them. They are brother and sister and EXTREMELY close, so can't imagine the heartbreak if they were separated.

They are in excellent health, behave extremely well other than the stuff mentioned above, and have NEVER become aggressive to any human, including my baby who loves to roll around on top of them, pull their ears, etc. They just respond with licks and love. Any thoughts on breaking the issue with food / dominance that I am having? As far as dominance goes, not sure if they are still attempting to figure that out as upon occasion, they mount one another...not know what the heck is going on (they are spayed and neutered).

We are really broken up over making this decision, but deep down know that there really isn't a decision to make and they have to go.

 

[Baileysmom]

I am so sorry about your babies! I don't know what to tell you about the food issue. I only have one boxer and no kids. But I will tell you if you have to give up your babies, go through a rescue. I have heard and read soooooo many horror stories of people giving their babies to someone that they thought would be a good home. And it wasn't. The rescue will try and put them together and give the people a thorough check before they give them to just anyone.

 

[VTbxrFan]

I did a link and found this thread with some links that might help you:

http://www.boxerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19770&highlight=food+aggression

It sounds like your dogs are wonderful companions to each other and to your baby aside from the food issue. Maybe you can find a solution with a little help and patience. Are you willing to work with a professional behaviorist? That could really help your situation.

I hope you will find a solution that allows you to keep your dogs, but if not, I second the recommendation to contact your closest boxer rescue. That's the best way to get your dogs into a good home.

 

[jrodriguez42]

I don't understand? Did you not know you were going to have children some day? Do you have a yard the dogs can play in while the baby's on the floor playing?
It's great to have dog to grow up with.
Or maybe you can put one in the crate and one out.
I think you should do a search on here for solutions that other people have done to save their dogs.
If they are your family you can work it. Hope all goes well.....

 

[Astoreen]

Disclaimer: This is a discussion board and one with people who have real emotions. My comments are in no way an attack on individual character but a reflection of my emotions as I read the thread. Enter at your own risk.

Forgive me but I'm not in any sort of tactful mood this morning. Have you tried anything like a behaviorist or something? Have you tried to give them attention and show them that they are just as important as your skin child? They're very intuitive and extremely intelligent..........these fights seem like a means of getting attention from you, positive or not. There are soooo many people on here who have boxers and children, babies even, and they all have made it work. There have probably been some struggles along the way and understandably so............but they've made it work.

I have a very difficult time reading your post, especially at the end where you say that "there really isn't a decision to make and they have to go." I think that's the easy way out but then again, I'm not you and I don't walk in your shoes. What have you done to remedy this situation in your house thus far? There are decisions to be made and I think you've already made it from the sounds of your message. If you don't want to take the time to work this issue out with them then put them into rescue where they can be assured of a good, loving, happy and healthy forever home where something like this won't have to happen again.

One question (not directed towards you just thinking out loud), why is it that dogs are so expendable in our society and other things, animals, people, etc. are not? If a child is mean to a dog, we punish the dog. If a husband or wife doesn't like our dog, we punish the dog. If we move to a new house and don't have room now, we punish the dog.

Again, I will apologize for my somewhat harsh tone and lack of tact. I just think it's extremely unfair for these two dogs who have to leave your home because of some food aggression and other behaviors (which can be remedied, btw) while the cats get to stay and have fun with the baby.

Check into surrendering them to a rescue if you absolutely have to get rid of them; otherwise, I would recommend getting hold of a dog behaviorist to help you work out these issues. You can also do a search here on BW (top right of your screen, little gray button) for information on food aggression and a host of other dog behavior topics.

 

[BRIDGIT]

why is it that dogs are so expendable in our society and other things, animals, people, etc. are not?

I couldn't agree more. I also want to say that I do not know you and know what you are going through and all I can comment on is what I read from your post. If it were me I would do whatever it takes to keep my dogs. That is the commitment I made when I got them. They have no one to rely on but me and my husband to give them a safe and loving home. I do no have children but people always tell me that when we do the way we feel about our dogs will change. I will love and care for my child unconditionally but if I can help it the way my dogs are treated and cared for will not change. As I see it they are also my children.
If you do decide to get rid of the dogs please give them to rescue. Like everyone else has said they will do the best job to find good homes.

 

[robmoore]

You all are right....

You all are right....you don't walk in my shoes and you don't understand. You may feel that the dogs are your children and that is fantastic. I used to and still do, however I make a VERY solid distinction between my dog and cat children and my human child. My human child is a person. A person who will hopefully live on this earth for the next 80+ years and contribute to the health and the humanity of other people and animals on this earth in a positive way. A person who I can not risk the physical long and short term health of just so my dog and cat children can work through their behavior issues. Get real people, I love my pets as much as anyone else and it kills me to have to give them up, however it would be reprehensible and completely irresponsible to put my human child in a situation where his health is at risk. If you can say that you could look your own child with a mangled ear or missing finger that you know that you could have prevented from happening for the rest of your life, more power to you, however I can't and honestly would consider a parent in the same situation who didn't immediately address the issue as a child abuser.

I appreciate the comments and suggestions on working with a rescue program, however if these last two post are examples of the zealots that take dogs from rescue programs, I am fearful there that I am not making a wise decision to go that path either.

Again, thank you for the positive suggestions that have been mentioned. I do appreciate them and will start to pursue the behaviorist suggestion as it isn't something that my wife and I have pursued. I have not seen any extremely positive results posted on this type of issue, but I may have missed them and would be very interested. There are never any guarantees in this world, however even if I do go down the behaviorist route and they dogs appear to have modified their behavior, if in three years, the same thing happens and my son is injured in an accident, I would again hold myself 100% responsible and know that I could have prevented it from happening....that isn't something I can risk happening.

 

[Jeanne]

My suggestion would be to rehome just one of the dogs. You may feel that they are too close to not leave together, but if there are jealously issues between the 2 of them, they will most likely be very happy to be apart. One dog in the household will probably be your solution without losing both. I would keep which ever one you feel most comfortable with (think about how they are alone with you as opposed to with each other.)

 

[cashisking]

Rob,

I totally get (don't agree 100%) what you are saying, but for the "zealots" comment. If I was in your shoes, and I know I am not. I would be more than happy to have any one of these so called "zealots" take my furbaby. These people LOVE their dogs. And furthermore, they are very commited to the boxer breed. MAny people who make such comments see people walking away from animals all the time, alot care for abused animals just trying to give them a good life for the rest of their life. They make a COMMITMENT to their dogs forever, and don't make a snap decision in 7-14 days no less after 10 moths of everything being ok.. I would be downright defensive too. They are innocent animals that look to you to care for them their WHOLE life. look through this board, I am sure you will find that these "zealots" give very sound advise, especially if you are not just throwing your arms in the air saying "I give up" good for you for looking into a behaviorist. You said yourself that this started happening one- two weeks ago, so in essence you are just throwing up your arm and giving up. How much training have your dogs had? Did you read up on jealousy issues BEFORE the baby came so you were prepared or did you just think everything would be fine when you pushed them to the side???What actions did you take when they quarreled BEFORE the baby came about? Animals are a commitment, and they are WORK. If you arent able or willing to work with them maybe one of these "ZEALOTS" will.

 

[robmoore]

Yet Another

Again, appreciate y'alls advice, but not following you. My dogs have been wonderful members of our family for 3+ years now. They had several weeks of obedience training when they were young and continued and consistent reinforcement of that training over the three years. They are extremely good dogs and wonderful companions, however have had issues over food arguements over the entire span of time we have had them.

Up to this point, I have gone down the route of immediate correction and then helped with the enforcement of the dominance that played out (my alpha gets his food first, out the door first, treats first) and still not seeing a ton of results. While these last two incidents have happened over the past 7-10 days, these are different. My issue is that while I work through it, I am fearful that the way I would need to do it (outside in their yard...they are inside dogs with a very large yard they play in), it wouldn't be the same environment as they spend most of their time in (inside in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, etc) and not sure it would be consistent enough for them to correct the behavior.

I am just looking for advice and when I get attacked by people who aren't able to back up and see the big picture here, I am dissapointed that a forum like this would go to waste. Like I have said before, the LAST thing I want to do is to have to give my dogs up, but honestly making them live the majority of their lives outside, even if they have shelter, heat (they have their own heaters so when they eat they aren't cold in the winter), and large yard to play in, I don't consider it fair to make them "outside dogs" in the time that I have to address the issue.

As far as a lifetime commitment, no one should be judging me here as my commitment for my child and dogs, is not in question....hence my request for suggestions or help.