I'm Not Cut Out for Two...

[NuBoxer Fan]

I am having a tough time owning two dogs. We rescued Duke 3 months ago, and he is by no means what one might consider a bad dog. Sure, he gets into things that he shouldn't sometimes, and so what if he has peed on our brand new carpets (OK, to be fair, they are now a year old) even AFTER he has been in the house and on our schedule for 3 months. His bark is loud. He jumps on me and won't get off. And it hurts. Zuzu will be settled, peacefully by my feet or across the house and he will hunt her down and sit on her and she will run away from him looking at me like, "MOM!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT" and then chaos ensues. Duke digs, he whines when I don't pay attention to him and he really just annoys the living daylights out of me. My mom says that I just never really gave him a chance to get into my heart, and maybe I have not been fair to him and stayed distant. Problem is, I am not happier having Duke than before we had him. If anything I feel more annoyed and on edge when DH is on the road and it is just me taking care of both dogs. I don't know what to do... I think more often than not about calling the rescue group and asking them to find him a new home. And then I watch him and Zuzu playing together, racing around the back yard and I feel like Zuzu will be sad if he leaves. Bottom line, I just don't know if this is the right house for him, or he is the right dog for us. Shouldn't I know that by now??

 

[tastubbs]

Not necessarily. You just don't know what rescue's have been through. Shaylea was quite irritating for a while (similar behavior to what you described). The more secure she felt, the better she behaved. I love her more than anything now. I think your emotions are probably normal. Good luck to you.

 

[Austin's Mom]

I think only you would know if yours is the right home for Duke. When Dh brought Junior home last November I wasn't happy having two boxers. And honestly neither was Austin. Junior was only 3 months old and full of hell, and Aus being 7 at the time wanted no part of him. So much that they couldn't be left alone. Now, Austin is a pretty easy going dog, set in his ways and I actually thought he would kill that puppy. And I honestly didn't want two dogs. I'm happy with it just being me and Austin. It doesn't make you a bad person if you can't handle or don't want to handle two dogs. But only you can make that decision. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[EAO76]

Aww poor Duke. I have no advice at all. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I remember you posted a similar thread right after you got Duke. Since you have been feeling this way a long time I don’t know if your feelings will ever change. I just feel sad for Duke…he deserves a home where he is 100% wanted. Maybe he senses how you feel and bugs you all the time because he is seeking reassurance that he is loved???

 

[Pearlywhirly]

I concur with what EAO76 said. Even if you don't intend it, Duke can tell how you feel. Your tension around him, esp. when your husband leaves is putting him on edge too. Nobody wants to be stuck where they are not wanted and I think you should at least investigate what getting him some help would entail. You are not a failure, not every dog is right for every human.

 

[Kayjay]

Go with your gut...

You should go with you gut on this one. I recently had to give up a puppy because he just wasnt right for our home. We got him at 2 mos. The first week I just had a bad feeling about him. 2 months later and many benefit of the doubts he ended up being horrible with small children. So he went to live with my parents, and is doing great there. You have to think about the dogs best interest. He may need to be in a home where he's the only dog or the owners have alot of time and patience to devote to him to get him pastthis stage. But if you feel like he's not the right dog for you then he probably isn't. It's best not to prolong the situation and find him a more suitable home.

 

[K8IE]

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time adjusting to two boxers. I know it is not easy. Especially if your DH is gone a lot and you are the one taking care of the pups, cleaning up messes, etc. I am not one to do well with chaos, I will admit it, and you may be like that too, you may prefer peace and order, which at times is not possible when you have two dogs and feel overwhelmed. But I will say, if you want to try to give it some time and see if you can bond, you could find time each day to do some seperate training sessions with Duke, maybe even take him to some obedience classes alone, work with him to gain trust and establish a relationship. Talk with the rescue and see if they have any ideas too, give them a heads up and let them know you are having a hard time. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Shakira's Ma]

Aww poor Duke. I have no advice at all. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I remember you posted a similar thread right after you got Duke. Since you have been feeling this way a long time I don’t know if your feelings will ever change. I just feel sad for Duke…he deserves a home where he is 100% wanted. Maybe he senses how you feel and bugs you all the time because he is seeking reassurance that he is loved???

Totally agree with this post.

I concur with what EAO76 said. Even if you don't intend it, Duke can tell how you feel. Your tension around him, esp. when your husband leaves is putting him on edge too. Nobody wants to be stuck where they are not wanted and I think you should at least investigate what getting him some help would entail. You are not a failure, not every dog is right for every human.

This is something to investigate, to see if you really are making him feel unloved and unwanted. If it is the case then the best thing to do is ask the rescue that you got him from to find a new home for him. Dogs are like people, if they are not loved and wanted they will feel it, no one has to tell them.

 

[kpowell]

In no way is this meant as saying that you should keep him, but why not try NILIF for just a bit and see if that makes any difference? You mentioned he was jumping on you, and NILIF should help with that. Also, The Dog Listener is a wonderful book that has made a BIG difference with my friend's dog who was a real nightmare. They were thinking of finding him a new home, too. Meanwhile, good luck and you have my support in whatever you decide to do.

 

[ladyluck_t]

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time adjusting to two boxers. I know it is not easy. Especially if your DH is gone a lot and you are the one taking care of the pups, cleaning up messes, etc. I am not one to do well with chaos, I will admit it, and you may be like that too, you may prefer peace and order, which at times is not possible when you have two dogs and feel overwhelmed. But I will say, if you want to try to give it some time and see if you can bond, you could find time each day to do some seperate training sessions with Duke, maybe even take him to some obedience classes alone, work with him to gain trust and establish a relationship. Talk with the rescue and see if they have any ideas too, give them a heads up and let them know you are having a hard time. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I totally agree here, being the owner surrender coordinator for my local rescue, I would rather have an adopter call me before they reach the "Get this d*%$ dog out of my house now" point.

As far as bonding and getting his behavior under control, this will require a time investment on your part. My first recommendation is to take a good hard look at yourself and see what you are willing to do to keep this dog. This is not an attack on you, honestly, there are times when I just dont want to deal with situations. You need to figure out for yourself what you are willing to put into the relationship before you can make any decision at all. There are a million little "tricks" that can help you get over this rough time, but each one of them requires an investment of time and energy on your part, so you have to want to invest this time before you will see any results. There is no fault or blame to be given on either side of this issue, you need to talk with the rescue, perhaps if you are willing, you could foster Duke until the right home pops up.

If you do want to try some tips or tricks to get him under control and into a more well behaved dog, please feel free to post, there are a million things that you can try and lots of people with ideas to give you.

Good luck, and I am sorry that you have to make such a hard decision. But you must do what is best for you and your family.