I need some reassurance

[Agent Scully]

Forrest is now almost 10 months old, but I don't really feel that he's bonded to me yet. We've finished our basic obedience classes and it seems to have helped a bit. When we're out his attention is never on me, everything else is more interesting than me. I know he's still a puppy and the world is full of fascinating things, but it just seems like that he doesn't even know I'm alive. When I come home he's usually still in his chair, he doesn't even get up to greet me. It's very heart breaking when I do everything for him, but when a friend comes to visit, it's like fireworks.

I don't know if this is a common boxer thing. He's my first dog. I didn't even consider any other breed, it was a boxer or no dog.

Will Forrest become more loyal as he gets older? When do they start to get protective or even at all? Is there anything I can do to bond with him more. I already spend alot of time with him, and please tell me he'll come around and that I've chose the right breed. I've read that they're supposed to be very loyal dogs.

And on a completely different topic, anyone has tips on how to get a boxer to fetch?

 

[Angbag]

Hang in there

I didn't have this problem with my 2 BUT sometimes Mia, my oldest, gets upset with me and ignores me. Maybe you should baby him, hold him, give lots of physical loving attention. That's what I have to do with Mia when she gets upset with me. YES you absoultely chose the right breed. Boxer's are AWESOME. I'm sure he'll come around. Mia didn't start retrieving until I kept throwing items to her. NOW she only retrieves when SHE wants to play NOT when I want HER to play. Boxers are very smart and some are independent. Just keep giving lots of attention, love and physical contact.

Good luck!!

 

[Billysmum]

I think at 10 mths old, they're at their 'rebellious teenager' stage and everything is more interesting that mum and dad. Is he food orientated? If so, carry some treats with you and when he looks at you give him a treat - or keep recalling him and give him a treat each time. I'm sure he'll come round

 

[Tulsa-Dan]

I know the feeling. Sometimes Maggie is so exhuberant with strangers, and so ho-hum with me, it is very disheartening. But then, like today, I came home from the Dog Show and she was SOOOO excited to see me.

A couple of things to try. The treats idea is good. I used this too, but a little differently. I held the treat up to myself, right between my eyes at the top of my nose. When she focuses (not just glances, but focuses) on the treat, I give it to her. This way, I've also taught her to look at me with the command "Look Here!" when I want her attention. I can say "Look Here" and touch my forehead and she'll now focus on my eyes and wait for the next command. (training should continue will follow up commands as well.)

Another very good way to bond with the dog is to get down on the floor with it and play some games like tug, wrestling, tummy rubs, or whatever you and the dog find fun to do together. Be sure to get down on the floor on the dog's level to play.

I socialize Maggie with other dogs in the dog park a lot, but I also take one of our daily visits just for the two of us. I go with her, somewhere where there aren't other dogs and she and I play by ourselves. I throw the ball (she sometimes brings it back, but loves to run after it, which is good exercise), and we play tug-o-war, or in good weather, we even wrestle around on the ground together. These things I think are VERY helpful in bonding with your dog.

Maggie has just now at 8 months become more protective of her territory (the apartment). She's growling and barking more now at strange noises outside our door, etc. She is also barking at things that are "odd" or out of place in the neighborhood when we go on walks. And, I can see she's beginning to be a little more "wary" of some people instead of her usual puppy exhuberance and wiggle and wanting to play with every person she sees. I think when they get through the puppy stage, after about 2 years, they become MUCH more protective and so forth. You'll need to give it time. I have no doubt that Maggie will be everything that boxers are famous for being, loyal, fun, friendly, good guard dogs, energetic, etc., etc. She's already all of these things as far as I'm concerned.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[Agent Scully]

thanks to everyone so far, i'm feeling a little better now.
yes, i always have food when we're out. i wouldn't dare leaving the house without food. it's the only thing that has a chance on getting his attention. but when there's another dog around, food becomes useless sometimes too.

i like dan's idea of holding the treat in front of the nose, i'll try that.

as far as playing with him, we used to play tug and it's the only time he would growl at anything, our trainer said to stop because it's bringing out his aggression towards me. so we stopped. i tried throwing balls and kongs for him and he'll chase after them, but after a few times he'll loose interest and start exploring with other things. it's like, i'm done with that i don't want to play with you anymore.

protective barking??? forrest doesn't bark at anything. i'll take it as a blessing since we live in an apartment.

i do agree that they are very independent dogs, but at times they have thier nose in everything that we do.

 

[Kira]

An excellent bonding tool is to tether the dog to you with a 6 foot leash while you're in the house, just doing your thing. The Monks of New Skete do this with their Shepards and I did it with my boxer when I first got her at 18 months of age.

Another tool is to hand feed him for a month or so. Every kibble he takes is directly from your hand with your smell on it.

Also, I suspect that this may also be a bit of a dominance game he's playing. From what you describe, he's acting very alpha with you. Alpha dogs treat their subordinates like he's treating you.

I'd eat before I fed him. I'd always go through doors first. He'd be OFF the furniture and onto his own bed on the FLOOR. Any toys are YOUR toys to be kept out of his reach. He doesn't get what he wants when he wants it. He gets what you give him. Give him one toy a day. Go to him and groom him every day, even if it's just a few minutes with a soft towel.

You need to show him that you are, in fact, leader of the proverbial pack . I think he's not interested in you because he doesn't respect you as his superior.

Continue with your training, whether it be obedience or agility. Working with him every day is going to reinforce a healthy relationship and build his respect for you.

A wonderful book is Jean Donaldson's "Culture Clash". It's a must read in my mind for anyone that has a dog!

Benjamin's "Mother Knows Best" books are also good and she has a book called "How to Survive your Dog's Adolescence" that may also be helpful for you.

Best of luck!

 

[Agent Scully]

thanks kira,
i think it's true that he doesn't respect me. he gets pretty much everything handed to him on a silver plater. but can you blame me. i also think he is playing the dominance thing with me. it's even hard to have him carry out a command these days, and when he finally does it, he does it with his whining protest. i've try the soft approah but i think he takes advantage of me when i'm soft. if i'm too strict, i don't want him to be even more distant to me either. i guess i just signed myself up for the wonderful
life of bringing up a puppy.

 

[Kira]

It's not a case of being mean or hard with him. You simply have to be firm with him about the rules and about what's expected of him. You will be amazed at the POSITIVE change in his attitude.

I do competitive obedience and agility with both of my dogs and really had a difficult time with my dogs' attitudes until I figured out that I had to stop "kissing ass". Poor wee puppums, I used to think, I can't ask her to do this FASTER or BETTER because she won't like me, she'll get stressed out and the world will end. In my dog's opinion, I was (as Sylvia Bishop describes) a "Gnat at the End of the Leash". Mildly irritating but nothing too bothersome.

This attitude got me nowhere. I changed my attitude, took charge and I now have confident dogs with excellent attitudes .

It's like having teenagers! They'll go as far as you let them and if you're not making the rules, they will! They'lll also give you EXACTLY what you ask for.......whether in obedience or at home.

 

[Agent Scully]

thanks again kira,
i don't have teenagers but i was one myself. so i think i understand what you mean.

 

[RedBoxerK9]

Hi Agent Scully,

I think Kira's right you know. I've been going to training with Georgie for over a year and, although the training keeps telling me, I've not been firm enough. Now she's getting very strong and a little hard to handle so at last I've toughened up with her and over the past few weeks I'm actually getting her attention.

My trainer says males are a bit more of a challenge because they will try to be the dominant one so you may have to be that little bit more firmer with him especially at this age. I know it's hard but as my trainer says the dog will not respect you if he thinks his the better one and if he doesn't respect you he won't love you.

We got Frank six months ago and knowing what some males can be like I made sure that he knew I was the one in charge and I don't get much trouble from him when we're out walking.

Don't get discouraged as I said above it's taken me a year to get this far with Georgie and a really wish I'd toughened up a lot earlier. Don't get me wrong we still have cuddles and stuff, in fact over the past few weeks she's actually been cuddling up more to me rather than me go to her which is very pleasing.

Good luck
Sue